How To Say NO and Why It Matters

Hi friends,

It is SO easy to get caught up in the weeds as a leader.?

Daily operations go awry so easily when you don’t keep your “manager hat” on and you can’t always escape urgent To-Do items that crop up.

While I’ve said it many times before, you wouldn’t believe how many leaders get distracted from their most important responsibility: thinking strategically .?

Many of them come to me with the same lines of logic:

“If I don’t do it, that task won’t be done correctly.”

“It’s just faster and easier if I do it myself.”

And some, often those who trust me enough to open up entirely, actually struggle with their feelings about saying “No.”

“I want others to know I’m still part of the team.”

“Leaders are capable and effective. I don’t want my co-workers to see me otherwise!”

“It’s important to set a good example for my team…”

If it’s your job to think strategically (and it is), it’s your job to:?

• Occasionally step back
• Zoom out to see the broader picture, and?
• Learn the art of tactfully saying "No" when it’s required.?

How To Oppose Others

We use Sphere of Influence 360 tools in almost all of our leadership coaching workshops and retreats, and you’ll be glad to know there’s an entire skill set that revolves around politely, effectively refusing others.

It’s called Oppose .

But why is it a style every leader needs in their kitbag?

Because leadership is about working ON a business and not IN it—you can’t steer an organization anywhere if you’re caught up in the weeds.?

Of all the Oppose style skills, these are the few that my clients tend to struggle the most with:

1. Challenging Others Constructively

Here’s something I can’t emphasize highly enough → challenging others doesn’t have to be confrontational.?

When you’re approached with a request, there’s no need to dismiss it all outright; consider asking your teammate to expand on their suggestions. The added bonus here is you foster critical thinking!

→ How It Works: John asks you to check his proposal and amend different stages so each adheres to your project budgets.?

Invite John to look into existing SOPs, meeting transcripts, and past examples of successful proposals. Open up a dialogue asking what he considers reasonable based on his findings and the clear boundaries you’ve defined for the project.?

2. Setting Clear Boundaries

Speaking of clear frameworks and “no-go areas”…

I’ve already written about defining boundaries for your team , but how effectively do you set your own limits??

Safeguarding your time, energy, and focus for strategic objectives requires you to clearly articulate what you accept in terms of commitments and tasks, as well as why you’ve created those boundaries.?

→? How It Works: You’re planning the agenda for an upcoming strategy session with your fellow executives.?

Because you believe collaboration and innovation are the keys to collectively beneficial solutions, you emphasize that everyone must prepare three unique ideas for your brainstorming session. No recycling, no copying competitors, no excuses!

3. Making Effective Counterproposals

Are you a leader who gives in at the first sign that your teammate is dissatisfied??

Sometimes, saying no means offering a better alternative. Before you oppose an idea, prepare a well-thought-out counterproposal that aligns with your strategic vision.?

→ How It Works: A fellow executive in the abovementioned meeting insists you take charge of a project that clearly isn’t within your role’s scope. You acknowledge the merits of their suggestion, offer an alternative (let’s divide and conquer), and explain how your alternative might be more effective or efficient. Congratulations, you’ve just demonstrated your commitment to the team’s goals, AND realigned processes toward your vision—a collaborative solution.

I truly agree that it’s often much easier to say “Yes” than to disagree: we all want to seem agreeable, adaptable, and keep things moving.?

It’s crucial to remember that there are things only YOU can do as a leader, and thinking strategically is rarely something you can delegate.?

Remember that time is a currency to be invested wisely, and it often all boils down to how you draw the line.

Over To You

If you know you’re taking on too many of the things you don’t want to do, enhance your strategic reflect on and enhance your strategic impact:

• How often do I find myself caught up in daily tasks at the expense of strategic thinking?
• When was the last time I effectively said "no" to focus on higher priorities? What was the outcome?
• How can I better prepare myself to present counterproposals or alternatives in future discussions?
• What boundaries might I need to establish or reinforce to stay focused on what only I can do?

Did these questions trigger any reflections or insights? Do you have a completely different reason for getting tangled up in day-to-day tasks instead of being strategic?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—send me a DM, and we’ll have a chat!

— Govert