How to Say “No” When It’s Not So Simple

I often discuss the importance of saying "no" with busy, stressed-out business owners. We all like the idea of saying "no" more often. But, when it comes to actually doing it, I hear a lot of "yes, buts." In other words, "Yes, I could say no to that, but then who would do it?" or "Yes, I could say no to that, but they'd be disappointed."?

Why is it so hard to say "no" to others?

Most of us experiencing success have learned one lesson well: say "yes" to opportunities that come your way; you never know where an opportunity will lead. Well, look where that has led you: right to reading this article, looking for a solution to managing the stress from being overworked, overcommitted, and packing your days full of "To-Do's."

We are much better at saying "yes" than we are at saying "no."?

Saying "yes" is easy, even if it means more stress and frustration down the road. When you say "yes," the person asking something of you smiles, thanks you, and you are left happy that you have pleased someone. There is much emotional payoff in that.??

Saying "no" is not immediately gratifying to us. Rationally, we know that saying "no" will mean we will feel less stressed in the future. However, when we say "no," we may feel guilty about disappointing the other person. Or, we may fear the consequences of saying "no." That's why simply telling yourself to say "no" more often is not a very effective means of simplifying your life. ?

What's the alternative??

Contemplate saying "yes" with awareness of the "no" in every "yes." For every commitment we make, we are saying "no" to something else. Our time and energy are precious resources. Yet, we act as though we can stretch ourselves thinner and thinner by cramming more into our days. This does not work in the long term. Over time, we deplete our energy, and we burn out.?

When you say "yes" to a new project, you will commit your time and energy to that project. What are you saying "no" to? Perhaps you are saying "no" to some relaxing time with your family, exercising, or giving your best to a meaningful project. It becomes much easier to say "no" when you are fully aware of the impact your choices have on your quality of life and your highest commitments.

What would you do with the extra time you create for yourself by "saying no" more strategically?????

Try this over the coming month: Each time you are presented with a new opportunity, project, or task, ask yourself, "What am I saying 'no' to by saying 'yes' in this situation?" Write this question on paper and post it where you see it often. You will be amazed at how much easier it is to say "no" to opportunities that do not directly align with your business and personal goals.?

Sabrina Starling, PhD, PCC, BCC, The Business Psychologist, is the international bestselling author of How to Hire the Best and The 4 Week Vacation?. Founder of www.tapthepotential.com and host of the Profit by Design podcast, she and her team coach entrepreneurs to take their lives back from their businesses. They are on a mission to send 10,000 entrepreneurs on a 4 Week Vacation? in 10 years.?