How to say what you want and get it

Hello you

Video message from me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMq5oFlbXtI

2023 has to be about living life to the full, right?

Life can be viewed as one continuous crisis or we can remember that we are in control of more than we think, decide to change the narrative, and get back to doing what we want – whatever that is.

Deciding what it is that you want can be tricky and being influenced by what others think can also be a distraction and create unhelpful feelings of guilt or inadequacy.

If the people I coached in 2022 are a little study, all of them knew what they wanted but either felt they couldn’t articulate it (for various reasons) or didn’t feel they should articulate it (for deeper reasons).

Humans do find it difficult to say what they want and just go after it.

This is analysed a lot.?

It could be because you’re an introvert, or you struggle expressing your feelings, or you are repressed, or scared, or don’t want to step out, don’t want to be perceived in that way or one of the many other reasons why our mind rules our ability to communicate.

Whatever it is, let 2023 be the year you shake it off.

My wish for you is that you feel like one of my coaching clients who sent me this note as we ended 2022:

“The bottles are stacked up ready for some celebrating over xmas. I feel like the last 3 years at xxx have been a warmup and next year I can get started.?Much of that is a big thanks to you…”

Whoever it is that helps you, getting help to release what holds you back will make sure that 2023 is amazing, no matter how many crises we have to face.

In the spirit of asking for what I want, I would like to pick your brains on a new product I am thinking of launching this year, let me know what you think.

Come on, changemakers, let’s play our part together.

Nina

How to say what you want and get it

• Start by articulating your desires with the words “I want to…” This sounds so easy but it’s amazing how often people don’t start talking about what they want with “I want to”. Instead, they say things like, “wouldn’t it be nice to...”, or “I’m thinking about…” If you want something, say you want it! You can start by writing it down, which is sometimes easier. If you do, still say it out loud – “I want to…” You need to hear it
• ?When you hear it, be honest with yourself, is that what you really want?
• Say it out loud, several times, until you believe it.
• ?Then switch to “how am I going to make that happen?”.?Not the pretend vague stuff, the very clear, concise stuff that you can be very direct about.?If you can’t be direct about it, it’s not the thing that’s going to make it happen.?Keep going until you can.
• Is someone else involved in you getting what you want??Then prepare for objections.?Realistically, you might not get what you want on your first go (it does happen, so don’t rule it out) but preparing for the come back is a real confidence boost. Be ready for all the questions and the things that you might get fobbed off with.
• Practise.?Confidence is everything when you are looking to get what you want.?See the fun in this, be playful with this challenge, use your practice, and your confidence to lighten your mood.?If other people are involved in you getting what you want, a lighter mood helps the process immeasurably.
• Get your timing right.?2023 is going to be a bumpy ride, although external influences won’t stop you getting what you want, the timing of your request might.?Don’t see this as a chance to procrastinate, just use strategic positioning.
• Be persistent.?You many have to go through these steps a few times, making slight tweaks, that’s ok.?You are on the path to getting what you want, it’s worth a little extra effort.

In the spotlight

Chris Morgan . The Change Troubleshooter Podcast Producer.

Chris Morgan took on the challenge of being my podcast producer in 2020 and our little podcast continues to grow with listeners across 26 countries.

He rarely grumbles when I tell him we are recording in the next 10 mins because I’ve just met the most amazing guest, or when I suggest we record outside because it will sound more authentic!

He loves all our guests as much as I do, and it shows when he makes edits to make sure everyone sounds the best they can be.

Everyone needs a Chris Morgan in their lives and I’m very grateful he’s in mine.

If you’re not one of our regular listeners yet, you can catch up on all episodes here, or wherever you get your podcasts:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/954817/episodes

What do you think?

Everyone I coach is funded by the company they work for and these companies see the benefits of coaching to both the individual and the organisation.

I am thinking of offering a subscription service that would allow people to access coaching outside of my usual corporate model, making it more accessible for individuals and small businesses.

Is that something that would interest you or someone you know?

Please let me have your feedback by connecting with me and sending me a message.

As always you can book a free session to talk about you getting what you want in 2023, using the link below:

https://calendly.com/nina-change/let-s-chat