HOW TO SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID WITHOUT FEAR!

Throughout all this time working on behavioral development within companies, there are certainly no shortage of reports from employees at various levels and ages who fear speaking out in favor of positive changes for fear of being excluded. I have witnessed numerous accounts of employees feeling powerless, even to the point of believing that this could cost them their jobs. However, in the vast majority of cases, the reality of the organizational climate differs from the thinking of top executives and managers, although in a more subtle way.

On average, ninety percent of the things we fear in life never actually happen, and the same goes for the alienations we create regarding human relationships. I say this because when I am at the table with these executives, what is most common to observe is how much they are unaware of the reality of the company's environment, just as many expect to hear from their employees a posture of courage, but not to act as informers or organizational martyrs in practice, but to seek to position themselves, in a rational and strategic manner, respecting all levels, to act — whether defending a risky strategic move, pressuring to change an unjust policy, or speaking out against unethical behavior — because they believe it is the right thing to do.

This type of employee has become increasingly rare, while top executives understand that this professional profile has become increasingly important for the company. What I have witnessed is that many companies have hired consultants for this communication about the reality of the organizational climate based on a sincere evaluation among employees, leaders, and managers, but often they realize that these external assets do not achieve the results they themselves expect regarding the real picture of the organizational climate and where the organizational culture is heading.

Following this idea, I will speak here about a case of a client, here called Bianca (fictitious name), who, from being a team leader, had just taken on the role of project manager in a medium-sized company, where out of almost two hundred and fifty employees, fewer than fifty were women. For years, she had been considered the best team leader. In interviews, her colleagues said that she defended them very firmly. This was until she took on the position of manager, where she began to experience a toxic leadership. Since taking on the role, she had been dealing with abusive comments and sexist insinuations from her boss, who, to make matters worse, was the nephew of one of the company's partners. Not knowing how to deal with the situation, she found herself at a crossroads: Should she speak to him about his behavior or simply resign?

In one of the sessions, she told me that her anger was so great that she understood that she had to do something to protect the few women in the company! With this in mind, in a project meeting, her boss, in a completely disrespectful manner, tried to diminish her management ability, arguing that she could not handle her role because she was a woman. Unable to bear the treatment of this individual any longer, she gathered her courage and went to his office, confronting him — already prepared to resign if he did not retract. She took the opportunity to make it clear how toxic and sexist his behavior was.

I remember her calling me, panicked, thinking she was already fired. But, to her surprise, he called her in and apologized. He was horrified to learn that she felt this way — and that other women in the company probably felt the same. He praised her for speaking up when no one else had dared to and made a formal apology to the team. In the following months, she gained more and more respect and is now seen as the person responsible for changing the company's climate.

Bianca was one of the cases that made me interested in the subject, and that is why I have been researching what courage in the workplace actually is, as well as the main reasons why people generally do not speak up in this environment.

During my time working on behavioral development in companies, I have heard reports from employees at various levels and age groups who fear speaking out in favor of positive changes, fearing exclusion. Many employees feel powerless and believe that this could even cost them their jobs. However, most of the time, the reality of the organizational climate differs from the thinking of top executives, managers, and leaders, albeit more subtly.

It is true that in this quest to better understand the subject, it is possible to find various profiles of people who possess a certain skill in knowing how to deal with issues when they feel somehow disadvantaged, but the ones that catch my attention the most are professionals, included at various levels, who, without harming their image or career, have enough power to promote positive changes. What is most interesting is that their skills have nothing to do with some innate resource, but rather with a set of attitudes and behaviors that can indeed be learned. I call these people empowered because they have a sensitivity to know how to deal with their goals in synchrony with time management and therefore can create the right conditions to act by demonstrating this internal empowerment. They are strategic, always have backup plans in case things do not go well. Moreover, they carefully choose their battles, not wasting time discussing trivial matters, discerning whether a given opportunity to act makes sense in light of their values, the moment, and their broader goals; they maximize the chances of immediate success by managing messages and emotions; and they proceed while trying to preserve relationships and gather commitments.

You're probably thinking that this profile sounds like something out of a motivational leadership book, like those sold at the airport next to the ten lessons to happiness – but I assure you! It's not!

This described profile is a summary of professionals who have the courage to act when needed. But not all courageous individuals have such a virtuous profile. It's about a unique profile that, along with courage, also cares about its principles and values. They are aware that bad things happen when people challenge authorities, norms, and institutions - courage comes down to taking valiant actions despite the potential risk. In this sense, and among my clients, I remember a professional who had this profile and who, among her thoughts, once told me: "If nobody were fired, socially isolated, or suffered other consequences for a particular action, nobody would be considered courageous." The truth is that certainly certain actions produce better results than others, isn't it?

?

Where To Start!

?

It is fascinating to study human behavior to improve our understanding of how to act effectively. Often, we take actions without fully considering the impact beyond what we immediately see. For example, in the case of Bianca that I mentioned earlier, she could have opted for a broader approach, escalating the issue to a higher level, as it involved offensive and unethical behavior. However, she made a precise and timely choice by personally confronting her boss about his inappropriate behavior. In this case, her approach was likely better than challenging the entire power structure due to this specific issue. It is important to realize that she strategically had a contingency plan, meaning that if the matter was not addressed with the necessary seriousness, she would have stronger arguments to escalate the situation without harming her image among her peers. This demonstrates that, to develop this ability to act strategically, we also need to have a systemic view, both for major changes and for smaller, more localized problems. It is also essential to understand that, regardless of the outcome achieved when promoting positive change, it is important to take risks and do what we consider right. With that in mind, I would like to share four principles that can encourage you and improve your chances of creating positive changes when deciding to act:

?

1. Mapping

By studying the behavioral profile of people who stand out for their courage in strategically dealing with difficult situations and therefore produce good results in the workplace, it is possible to observe that they tend to spend months or even years demonstrating excellence in their roles, without rushing for immediate results. They are committed to the company and are impartial. They are empathetic to the right extent, able to stand out from those who need support, but also show solidarity with them. In psychology, they bring what is called idiosyncratic credits. In other words, idiosyncratic credits are the goodwill from a set of individual behavior over time, in conformity with group norms that allow the person to occasionally deviate from the same group norms without fear of reprisals. Idiosyncratic credits, or ICs, are often used in reference to leaders; however, the concept can refer to anyone who manages to go against the norms of their group. In other words, ICs allow a minority of one to influence the rest of the majority, from a stock of benevolence derived from their history of competence and compliance — which they can use to challenge norms or people with more power (It is worth noting that it was Edwin Hollander in 1958 who made the idiosyncratic credit theory popular).

These courageous competent profiles work to gain the trust of those who see them as their advocates. They invest in these relationships — engaging individually with people, dedicating time to empathize with them, and helping them develop professionally. Interestingly, it is more common to see courageous individuals acting completely the opposite: people with a reputation for being selfish or unwilling, usually and most of the time, tend to be less successful when resisting legitimately necessary changes.

Bianca's story is an interesting example of how idiosyncratic credits can be used to challenge norms and influence a group. Idiosyncratic credits are the accumulated goodwill over time from individual behavior in conformity with group norms, which allows the person to occasionally deviate from these norms without suffering reprisals.

In Bianca's case, she was one of the leaders in an organization that she and her colleagues saw as having prejudice against women, even if unintentionally. She decided to confront this situation and had an honest conversation with her boss, exposing the organization's culture. Her approach was careful, indicating when something was not necessarily a gender issue to be seen as fair by all sides. However, Bianca not only criticized but also demonstrated consistent high performance in her role, proving her competence and emotional and intellectual intelligence to deal with complex issues. She showed commitment to the organization's mission and aligned her initiatives with key strategic priorities. This combination of competence, work ethic, judgment, and humor created the idiosyncrasy credits necessary for her to be heard by the leadership team.

It is important to note that Bianca established appropriate boundaries for change, avoiding going too far and risking being excluded. She also took courageous initiatives at visible moments, laying the groundwork for significant changes in the organization. This example illustrates how idiosyncrasy credits can be used by an individual, regardless of their hierarchical position, to challenge norms and positively influence a group. Accumulating idiosyncrasy credits requires competence, compliance, and building relationships based on trust and empathy.

She took care to indicate when she did not consider something a gender issue, so that people on both sides considered her fair. All of this gave her the idiosyncrasy credits she needed to be heard by the leadership team. She set possible limits for change so as not to go too far and end up being "eliminated from the game." Thanks to her work ethic, judgment, and humor, she set the stage for taking courageous initiatives at visible moments.

?

2. Choose Your Battles

Taking the lead and dealing strategically with difficult situations in the workplace requires a great deal of emotional strain. Even with preparation, it is inevitable that there will be emotional aftermath. Therefore, it is important to choose battles wisely. Demonstrating courage is not always the best option, as being constantly in action does not necessarily guarantee achieving what you want. Therefore, the secret lies in asking two questions before moving forward: Is this really important? Is it the right time to act?

Although our goals are as unique as our own identity, it is essential to map not only our goals and values but also those of our colleagues, stakeholders, and the organization as a whole. When assessing whether a problem is truly relevant, it is important to consider the type of emotional battle we will face. Knowing how to listen to people allows us to be influenced by them, but not become hostages to their influences.

Being a skilled listener aids in evaluating whether a specific battle, regardless of the outcome, will contribute to achieving the desired outcome. Therefore, courageous and competent people know how to ask the right questions to avoid becoming victims of time. In other words, they observe the environment around them, and if the timing does not seem right, they have the patience to wait. They examine the environment for events and trends that may support their initiatives, taking advantage, for example, of an organizational change or the presence of a new ally.

These people remain attentive to the world around them, carefully analyzing what pleases and displeases the people around them. They do not act before those around them are willing to take them seriously unless they conclude that it is necessary to take action to preserve their personal integrity or sow a new idea.

A few years ago, during a consultancy to increase employee engagement in an engineering company serving large telecommunications companies, one of the leaders revealed to me that one of the company's suppliers was highly problematic. They were rude, dishonest, and manipulative, and the services provided were of inferior quality compared to other market suppliers. However, the relationship between the two companies was long-standing and involved personal issues between two key managers. This client asked me for help in developing a strategy to deal with this situation. We spent hours in sessions until he himself managed to have some insights that made it possible to map alternatives where he himself concluded that it was necessary to act but suggested waiting six months before making changes.

This client, named Alessandro (fictitious name), sought to reinforce his commitment to the company and took on the responsibility of evaluating third-party suppliers. During this period, he collected evidence of the problems, identified alternative suppliers, and quantified the improvements that could be achieved. He turned this data into concrete information and presented it at a management meeting, relying on hard-to-question facts, which resulted in a positive reaction from key stakeholders. In some cases, situations or events, such as a drop in production, sales, or a change in leadership, make courageous actions urgent and increase their chances of success.

This is especially common in mergers and acquisitions of companies. At the beginning of a restructuring, disagreements and a decrease in productivity and product development often arise, making change urgent. Knowing how to seize the opportunity to assist in the reorganization can be an excellent chance of success, as long as one has the ability to recognize the opportunity and seize it.

3. Arguing Effectively Is Fundamental

Arguing effectively is fundamental, as mentioned earlier. In the workplace, courage goes beyond preparation, requiring sensitivity to act at the right moment. When questioning Alessandro about his analysis to determine the right time to act, he emphasized that courageous and competent individuals focus on three main aspects: presenting the issue in a way that listeners can identify with, using relevant data for the strategy, and managing emotions effectively. Communicating efficiently helps align your strategy with the company's priorities and values, as well as addressing critical areas of interest for stakeholders. The secret lies in ensuring that decision-makers feel included and not threatened, undervalued, or excluded.

Recently, I have been assisting a friend in dealing with significant cultural changes in his company following its acquisition by a larger corporation. A clear guideline was to remain calm during the act of courage, as this is as important as advocating for one's cause. His task is to consolidate a single management model instead of trying to blend different cultures and strategic objectives of the acquired company. This lack of alignment has led to frequent conflicts with senior executives, who are accustomed to the traditional management practices of the acquiring company. They often reject the proposal with comments like "We don't do it that way" or "That will never work here." As the discussions intensified, my friend felt frustrated with the defensive stance of the managers. However, instead of reacting emotionally, he remembered that their response was natural, stemming from fear of the unknown, as well as behavioral issues, insecurity, vanity, and selfishness related to their status as the acquirers. Recognizing the mindset of these managers helped him stay calm and focus solely on data-based arguments. Over time, he has been able to convince others to support his viewpoint, and the management model adopted has strongly aligned with the strategy recommended by him.

?

4. Follow-Up Is Not An Option, It's A Rule

Follow-up is not an option, it's an essential rule. Demonstrating courage and competence in the workplace goes beyond simply taking action. It involves being present and being responsible for your intentions, actions, and results, regardless of what happens. Following up is crucial for maintaining relationships with the people involved. When things are going well, it's important to thank supporters and share credit. When things go wrong, it's necessary to deeply understand the situation, control emotions, and repair ties with those who have been harmed. Transparency and sincere communication are essential parts of this process.

It is worth noting that when I talk about follow-up, I mean that it means to monitor and continue something that was initiated or discussed previously. It is a practice of tracking, monitoring, or verification, usually done after an action, meeting, or initial communication.

Follow-up can occur in different contexts, such as the workplace, sales, professional or personal relationships. It involves actions such as sending a follow-up email after a meeting, calling to check on the progress of a project, requesting feedback on a proposal, or continuing a previous conversation. The importance of follow-up lies in ensuring that things are completed, commitments are fulfilled, and there is adequate monitoring of stages and results. It is a way to demonstrate commitment, responsibility, and professionalism, as well as to strengthen relationships and maintain effective communication, keep in touch with potential clients, and close deals. In the workplace, follow-up can help ensure progress on projects, align expectations, and resolve issues.

Therefore, for this article, follow-up is the practice of monitoring, continuing, and checking the progress of previous actions, agreements, or conversations. It is an important strategy for maintaining effective communication, strengthening relationships, and ensuring progress and completion of activities. In this sense, I see clients who need to make difficult decisions that catch their superiors off guard. In these cases, it is crucial to address the situation with sincerity, structure, and foundation, making it clear that it is not an attack on leadership, but rather a search for the ideal evolution of the company at that time. Following up also means respecting and acknowledging boundaries, and if they are crossed, it is necessary to quickly clarify the reasons for the decision made before alienation occurs. Furthermore, following up involves continuing to pursue goals even after the initial major action. Even when the first steps are successful, competently courageous individuals continue to advocate, seek resources, and ensure that others fulfill their promises. And when things do not go well, they see setbacks as learning opportunities rather than hiding from the consequences or giving up.

?

Recently, I assisted a client who was seeking advancement in her career as a human resources manager. One of the issues that concerned her and made her consider leaving the current company was a program she took on to develop her employees as volunteers in underserved communities, teaching programming and later absorbing those who excelled as interns. In the first version of the program, participants often arrived late or missed sessions, and their performance was poor. Most dropped out after a few weeks, which left her and her supervisors frustrated.

Instead of giving up, I helped Daniele see the value of what she was building and to view the first attempt as a learning opportunity. She began listening to the reasons why participants were dropping out, and based on that, she prepared a new program with more interaction and collaboration. Even when the second attempt seemed to be heading for the same fate, Daniele used the feedback to improve the program. She intensified training, involved leaders and managers, and established partnerships with government institutions, which provided a social worker to assist the volunteers. This time, Daniele's persistence and learning paid off: the program is now part of the company's welfare and is widely praised as a model of innovation, receiving government assistance to train professionals. Her persistence has won great loyalty from her team and all levels of the company.

?

The Important Thing Is To Start!

?

Courage is not limited to high-risk situations, but encompasses the willingness and determination to face challenges, difficulties, and fears, even in the face of uncertainty. It is the ability to act despite adversity, obstacles, and potential negative consequences. Courage requires stepping out of one's comfort zone, taking risks, and pursuing what is considered right, even if it means going against the tide or facing criticism and resistance.

It is important to note that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to confront and overcome fear, seeking to do what is necessary or important. It can manifest in various ways, such as bold actions, firm stances against injustices, overcoming personal challenges, or defending values and principles, even under external pressure.

Having courage involves trusting oneself, cultivating resilience and determination to persist in the face of difficulties. It is a valuable quality both personally and professionally, allowing one to achieve goals, overcome limits, and promote meaningful changes.

However, it is essential to act with prudence and discernment. Courage is not acting impulsively or recklessly, but rather making calculated decisions based on values, principles, and careful analysis of circumstances. Indeed, courage is the ability to face and act in the face of challenges, fears, and uncertainties, with determination, confidence, and resilience, seeking what is important and right, even when it involves risks or resistance. It is necessary to understand that courage can be developed and enhanced through effort and practice, not being exclusive to a few heroic personality traits.

To act with courage, it's strategic to differentiate situations, recognize the environment, and take progressive initiatives. Starting with smaller, more manageable actions before tackling tougher challenges is possible. Learning and experience are fundamental, and it's important to keep values and purposes at the forefront, ensuring a sense of self-respect and minimizing regrets, regardless of the outcomes achieved.

Finally, I advise using the assessment tool available at www.workplacecai.com to align personal perception of courage with that of others. Remember, courage is worthwhile when it promotes positive changes and when we stay focused on learning and progress. Always prioritize your deepest principles and goals. This will provide you with a greater sense of self-worth, even when facing setbacks, and decrease the likelihood of regretting your actions, regardless of the outcome. Moreover, by applying the concepts discussed in this article, you'll be expanding your possibilities of effecting successful changes, making the challenges involved even more worthwhile.

In summary, courage in the workplace is not just about facing difficult challenges, but also about expressing opinions clearly and respectfully, seeking constructive solutions, and being open to dialogue and continuous learning. By acting with courage, you not only promote positive changes but also strengthen your own confidence and mutual respect within the team. Therefore, do not underestimate the power of courage and assertiveness in your professional journey. Start applying these strategies today and see how they can make a difference in your career.

?

Tips to remember if you're ready "to say what needs to be said without fear":

1. Prepare yourself: Before expressing your opinions or concerns, carefully analyze the situation. Understand the context, the possible consequences, and be prepared to present solid arguments to support your position.

2. Choose the right moment: Identify the appropriate time to speak, considering factors like the environment, the availability of people involved, and the relevance of the subject at the moment. Avoid addressing sensitive or controversial issues during moments of tension or stress.

3. Be clear and objective: When communicating your ideas, be direct and avoid beating around the bush. Express yourself clearly and objectively, leaving no room for ambiguous interpretations. Be specific about what is bothering you or needs to be addressed.

4. Keep calm: When discussing delicate subjects, it's important to remain calm and control your emotions. Stay focused on the main goal of the conversation and avoid personal attacks. Remember that clarity and rationality are crucial for effectively conveying your message.

5. Present solutions: In addition to pointing out problems or concerns, be prepared to present possible solutions. This shows that you're committed to finding a resolution and contributes to constructive dialogue.

6. Be respectful: When expressing your opinions, respect the people involved. Avoid using offensive or aggressive language. Keep the focus on ideas and avoid personal attacks.

7. Seek support and alliances: If possible, seek support from others who share your concerns or views. Having allies strengthens your position and increases the chances of being heard.

8. Be open to dialogue: Be prepared to listen to different perspectives and be open to constructive criticism. Dialogue is essential for finding common ground and seeking mutually beneficial solutions.

Remember that expressing your opinion courageously doesn't mean being reckless or aggressive. It's important to act with respect, empathy, and strive for a balance between advocating for your ideas and maintaining a healthy work environment.

?

?

? Did you like this article?

?

THANK YOU FOR READING AND WATCHING MARCELLO DE SOUZA IN ANOTHER EXCLUSIVE PUBLICATION ABOUT HUMAN BEHAVIOR

?

Hello, I'm Marcello de Souza! I started my career in 1997 as a leader and manager in a large company in the IT and Telecommunications market. Since then, I have been involved in important projects structuring, implementing, and optimizing telecommunications networks in Brazil. Restless and passionate about behavioral and social psychology. In 2008, I decided to dive into the universe of the human mind.

?

Since then, I have become a professional passionate about deciphering the secrets of human behavior and catalyzing positive changes in individuals and organizations. Doctor in Social Psychology, with over 25 years of experience in Cognitive Behavioral and Human Organizational Development. With a diverse career, I highlight my role as:

?

Master Senior Coach & Trainer: Guiding my clients in the pursuit of goals and personal and professional development, achieving extraordinary results.

Chief Happiness Officer (CHO): Fostering an organizational culture of happiness and well-being, boosting employee productivity and commitment.

Specialist in Language and Behavior Development: Improving communication skills and self-awareness, empowering people to face challenges with resilience.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: Using cutting-edge cognitive-behavioral therapy to help overcome obstacles and achieve a balanced mind.

Family & Organizational Systemic Psychic Constellation: Based on systemic and psychic behavioral laws governing our affections, this practice offers a deep insight into the ancestral influences shaping our journey.

Hypnotherapist: Based on the interaction between mind and metaphors, Hypnotherapy helps overcome obstacles, unwanted patterns, and promotes self-discovery.

Lecturer, Teacher, Writer, and Researcher: Sharing valuable knowledge and ideas in events, training sessions, and publications to inspire positive changes.

Consultant and Mentor: Leveraging my experience in leadership and project management to identify growth opportunities and propose personalized strategies.

My solid academic background includes four postgraduate degrees and a doctorate in Social Psychology, along with international certifications in Management, Leadership, and Cognitive Behavioral Development. My contributions in the field are widely recognized in hundreds of classes, training sessions, conferences, and published articles.

?

Co-author of the book "The Coaching Secret" and author of "The Map is Not the Territory, the Territory is You" and "The Diet Society" (the first of a trilogy on human behavior in contemporary times - 05/2024).

?

Allow me to be your partner on this journey of self-discovery and success. Together, we will discover a universe of behavioral possibilities and achieve extraordinary results.

?

By the way, I invite you to join my network. As a lover of behavioral psychology, social psychology, and neuroscience, I have created my YouTube channel to share my passion for cognitive-behavioral development with more people.

?

Don't forget to follow Marcello de Souza on other social media platforms and join the VIP list to receive exclusive articles weekly by email.

?

If you wish to make a donation for this blog to continue producing unique and differentiated content, visit: [Donation Link]

?

?? Leave your comment

?? Share with friends

?? Marcello de Souza's official channel was created to simplify the understanding of human behavior and complement the information on the blog: www.marcellodesouza.com.br

?

?? Subscribe to the channel: www.youtube.com/@marcellodesouza_oficial

?

?? Marcello de Souza's latest book: www.marcellodesouza.com.br/o-mapa-nao-e-o-territorio-o-territorio-e-voce/

?? Commercial Contact: [email protected]

?? Write to Marcello de Souza: R. Ant?nio Lapa, 280 – Sexto Andar – Cambuí , Campinas - SP, 13025-240

?

Social Networks

?? Linkedin: www.dhirubhai.net/company/marcellodesouzaoficial

?? Instagram: @marcellodesouza_oficial

?? Instagram: @coachingevoce

?? Facebook: www.facebook.com/encontraroseumelhor/

?? Facebook: www.facebook.com/coachingevoce.com.br/

?? Official website: www.coachingevoce.com.br/ www.marcellodesouza.com

?? VIP List to receive exclusive articles weekly from me: [email protected]

?? Portfolio: https://linktr.ee/marcellodesouza

?? Presentation and adaptation: Marcello de Souza

?

#emotions #selfcontrol #selfawareness #emotionalrelationship #selfhelp #motivation #overcoming #personaldevelopment #mindset #positivethinking #positiveattitude #success #positivity #leadership #executivecoaching #teambuilding #consciousleadership #resilience #mentalstrength #resilient #overcomingobstacles #warriormindset #balance #professionalife #personalife #careergoals #qualityoflife #PersonalDevelopment #SelfKnowledge #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #Mindfulness #Wellbeing #BalancedLife #PositivePsychology #Resilience #HumanBehavior #Motivation #SelfEsteem #SocialSkills #Empathy #MentalBalance #MentalHealth #PersonalTransformation #HealthyHabits #PersonalGrowth #InnerHappiness #marcellodesouza #coachingevoce #vulnerability #innerpeace #love #relationship #adultrelationship #newbeginning #innerpeace #lifeasacouple #humanbehavior #knowhowtolive #wellbeing #courage #sincerity

?