How to Say People’s Names Right (And Why It Matters)

Have you ever met someone with a name that you didn't know how to pronounce? Maybe it was too long, too foreign, or too complicated for you. Maybe you felt embarrassed, awkward, or nervous. Maybe you avoided saying their name altogether, or worse, butchered it in front of them.

We've all been there. Names can be tricky sometimes. But they are also very important. They are part of who we are, where we come from, and what we stand for. They can tell stories about our ancestors, our culture, and our personality. They can also affect how others see us and treat us.

That's why saying people's names right is not only a nice thing to do, but also a way of showing respect and appreciation for their identity and diversity. When we make an effort to learn and say someone's name the way they want it to be said, we are telling them that they matter to us, that we care about them, and that we want to get to know them better.

On the other hand, when we mispronounce, ignore, or change someone's name without their consent, we are telling them that they don't matter to us, that we don't care about them, and that we don't want to get to know them better. We are also erasing or diminishing their identity and diversity, which can hurt their feelings, lower their confidence, and harm their well-being.

According to linguist Jennifer Dorman, saying someone's name wrong is a form of oppression called linguicism. She explains that "systemically, people of color and different ethnicities in societies across the world have been subjected to linguistic discrimination."

Sadly, this is true. Research shows that people with non-Anglo names often face bias and discrimination in various areas of life, such as education, employment, health care, and media. For example, a study found that more than half of Black and Asian job applicants in the U.S. whitened their resumes to avoid any racial cues. Those who did were twice as likely to get callbacks for job interviews.

Another study found that about half of the surveyed Chinese international students who attend U.S. universities adopted English names to make it easier for others to pronounce them. However, this practice can also cause identity confusion and emotional distress for some people.

As Ruchika Tulshyan, the founder of Candour, an inclusion strategy firm, says: "Saying names right is one of those ways that you can really practice anti-racism and practice allyship at the moment." She adds that it is "one of those very subtle but extremely important ways to get engaged and really stand up...for communities that are nonwhite and largely have faced marginalization".

So how can we say names right and create a more inclusive environment? Here are some tips:

• Ask the person how they want their name to be pronounced. Don't assume or guess. Don't make a spectacle of it or put them on the spot. Be polite and respectful.
• Repeat their name after them and try to mimic their pronunciation as closely as possible. If you are unsure or unclear, ask them to repeat it or spell it out for you. Don't be afraid to make mistakes or ask for feedback.
• Practice saying their name until you get it right. Use memory tricks or associations if that helps. Write it down or record it if you need to.
• Use their name frequently in conversations and interactions. This will help you remember it better and show them that you care.
• Correct yourself or others if you or they say someone's name wrong. Apologize sincerely and learn from your mistake. Don't make excuses or jokes about it.
• Respect someone's own pronunciation of their name. Don't try to change it or shorten it without their permission. Don't mock it or make fun of it.
• Educate yourself on why names matter and how they reflect different cultures and histories. Learn about the origins, meanings, and variations of different names.

For instance, take my name Occasio Gee. This name might be unfamiliar or challenging to some people, but it is a meaningful and unique part of the person's identity. Occasio is a Spanish name that means "opportunity" in Latin and is common in Puerto Rico. More people are saying it correctly these days, thanks to AOC ( Alexandria O. ). By learning how to say this name right, you are showing respect and appreciation for the person's background and culture. You are also making them feel more welcome and included in the workplace and society.

I am happy to see tools like LinkedIn and 谷歌 Home with phonetic inclusion. Beside my name, you see the option to hear it pronounced. For many years a pet peeve of mine was how computer systems would pronounce my name. Now tools will alter their pronunciation, to the way you specify. Saying names right is not hard. It just takes a little bit of time, effort, and curiosity. And trust me; it makes a big difference. It can help you build rapport, trust, and friendship with people from different backgrounds and cultures. It can also help you create a more inclusive and diverse workplace and society where everyone feels valued and seen.

So next time you meet someone with a name that you don't know how to pronounce, don't shy away or give up. Just ask them, listen to them, and repeat after them. You'll be surprised by how much you can learn and how much you can connect with them.