How to Save a Life
James Whittaker
My superpower is helping you Win the Day? | 3x bestselling author | Host of Win the Day? podcast (80M+ views)??
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the world, with almost 1 million people each year taking their own life.
Last month, a high-profile Australian rugby league coach and proud Queenslander, Paul Green, died from suicide at the age of 49. He was known for his generous heart, trademark smile, and willingness to help anyone who needed it.
Green leaves behind a wife and two children who will never be the same again.
The moment I read the article, it broke my heart. It makes me emotional just writing about it.
Clearly, we have to do a better job at advocating for mental health.
Thursday, 8th September 2022 is R U OK Day, an Australian initiative that raises awareness of mental health — and preemptively reaching out to those who might be struggling. (September is also National Suicide Prevention Month and 10th September is World Suicide Prevention Day.)
I applaud any and all work that helps us understand mental health, better connect with each other, and reduce the horrific statistic of annual deaths by suicide.
'Are you okay?' is a necessary slogan that has captured attention; however, as the R U OK website affirms, there's a lot more to it than that.
We must go deeper...
A huge contributor to those challenges is the public comment section that appears in almost everything that is posted online. Surely, in someone like Paul Green's situation — as a public figure — the negative trolling and horrific comments chipped away at his spirit, which is a horrifying weight when you can find yourself in a moment of great weakness.
The same can be said when someone is called out on a group text thread or the victim of unrelenting bullying.
We must go deeper...
We go deeper when we get out of our busy lives to initiate a meaningful conversation in a non-threatening way that reestablishes that true connection between us and our loved ones.
When we want to get someone out of that dark place, we need an approach that enables us to meet them where they're at — to feel what they're feeling, see what they're seeing, and think what they're thinking ... as challenging as that can be.
Like most people, I've had some horrible moments in my life where I questioned what I was even here for — and whether there was any benefit to me remaining in society. The sad reality is that if someone asked me if I was okay, I would have responded with, "Yes, of course I am!"
We must go deeper...
Fortunately, in my darkest times, I've had people who met me where I was at and insisted I seek professional help so I can understand those mental health issues and find a way back to my happy self.
It worked.
But only because the right approach led to the right questions, which stimulated me to take action.
Mental health is a global epidemic — and those dark feelings can wrap around us, like a weed, when we least expect it — which is why we must be vigilant in our mission.
I recently interviewed a good friend Ollie Ollerton, who is former British special forces and host of the hit television series' SAS: Who Dares Wins and SAS Australia. In our conversation, Ollie describes the moment his suicidal thoughts became real and how he self-medicated to escape the pain — that pain amplified with the acceptance that he was one of the most highly trained warriors in history, yet couldn't even take care of himself, nor ask those around him for help.
Ollie said:
"We all have bad days. The military doesn't own PTSD and mental health issues — it's a personal barometer that we all must be aware of. The fact of the matter is you should be feeling good more so than not. And if you're not, you need to do something about it.
My greatest obstacle was my greatest discovery. At my lowest point, that obstacle forced me to look within. When I started looking within, the return on investment was absolutely unbelievable.
That's when I realized the answer to our mental health is our mental wealth. The more we invest in ourselves, the better the return."
We invest in ourselves through hundreds of ways, such as:
Above all, seeking help when we need it...
And we ALL need it from time to time. It doesn't matter whether you're a school student, a special forces operator, a high-powered CEO, or a devoted spouse, we all need help.
Thank you to R U OK, because they have used their memorable slogan to raise awareness and help initiate:
a) The awareness that this can be happening to someone in our immediate vicinity, despite their smile; and
b) The conversation that could save immeasurable heartache for so many.
On 18th October, I'll be releasing a podcast episode with Dr Mark Goulston, who is the world's top communication expert. He is a former FBI hostage negotiator, 9x bestselling author, and spent 25 years as a psychiatrist for suicidal people. If you want a detailed roadmap to initiating and managing hard conversations (especially if you're a parent worried about your child), this episode is a must listen.
If you're struggling, reach out and get help — you're loved far more than you could possibly fathom. There's also many resources available in most regions of the world so you can get local and real-time support to help you or someone else in need (see below).
Together, let's have these deep conversations, before it's too late...
Onward and upward always,
James Whittaker
PS - If you have anything to add, or perhaps some lessons and insights from your own mental health journey, please include a comment below. And if you feel like this post — or any of the associations or resources mentioned — could help others, please share it far and wide.
Resources to help:
International Suicide Hotlines: Your life is extremely valuable, and people care about you. Please reach out for help. Never act on your thoughts of suicide. Never.
R U OK: Resources to help so you can champion the message in your workplace, school, and community every day of the year.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: National Suicide Prevention Week is September 4–10. Join us as we make strides in saving lives, and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.
Beyond Blue: We provide information and support for anxiety, depression and suicide prevention for everyone in Australia.
Founder & Managing Director at Devilbend Asset Management
2 年Nice article James. As someone who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder over a decade ago but had probably been struggling along from my late teens I think there are two lessons I would share post diagnosis: 1. When you are well you have to double down on measures to stay well including, sleep, diet, meditation, and prescription medication (if that’s part of your regiment.) the slippery slope gets much steeper, quicker and harder to manager as you get older if you don’t work in wellness when well. 2. For family & friends- the above apply. If a friend of loved one suffer from a mental illness don’t wait until something bad is happening before you reach out. Keep in touch with friends and family regularly and interact with them beyond questions like ‘how’s your health?’ For that matter staying in touch goes beyond mental illness and should apply to all your family and friends! There’s my two cents!