How to Safely Communicate Your Feelings Without the Worry of Upsetting Others

“Never be afraid of the conversations you are having. Be afraid of the conversations you are not having.” ―?Susan Scott, author

Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone? ?

In business especially, it is a good practice to never burn bridges. The concept of Six Degrees of Separation is probably more like two. The world progressively has become a smaller place despite the enormity of people and information. ??

At the same time, we are encouraged to hold space to be our most authentic selves.?

A decision is a thought put into action. How should we best handle the inevitable internal debate whether or not to open up or say something? In that moment, it is vital to decide to go forth and communicate with specific intention, kindness, and proficiency. ?

Holding back from upsetting others signals uncertainty on just how to proceed.

These guidelines will boost confidence in yourself to clarify the source of your feelings. You’re allowed to feel a certain way, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these suggestions for a better outcome. ?

1.???Understand Yourself Fully First

If you start a conversation off with anger or frustration or something else negative that fuels you to confront someone, chances are you will put them into defense mode and upset them. The purpose for resolution is defeated before it begins. Instead, pause to take time to understand yourself first.

Nothing is always initially just as it seems. ?The brain cannot think logically and emotionally at the same time!

What is really rattling your cage? Are you truly upset with another, or should the FOCUS be on your words or deeds? Explore your responses. Then, once you decide to communicate your feelings, you’ll have a clear headspace to discuss maturely. ?

2.???Decide What to Communicate and What Not to Communicate

T.M.I. (too much information) can also mean some things are best kept to yourself. That doesn’t mean repressing them. If you get annoyed at a prospective customer who is slow to respond or a coworker who downs too much coffee, that’s more of a personal problem than a problem you should voice. Before you jump into a conversation, delineate between the things you should appropriately discuss and the things you shouldn’t discuss. ?

3.???Think About Who You Trust

Opening up about emotions and vulnerability means you are ready to talk to someone about something serious. You may feel vulnerable and just want a listening ear, but if you’re impulsively opening up to someone you don’t trust, you could get yourself into trouble. ?

Make sure the person you’re speaking to is someone you trust – and someone who cares about you! ?

4.???Be Caring

There’s nothing good about a conversation that spirals into a heated discussion or anger-fueled debate. No one benefits. Be kind, caring, and empathetic with your tone and choice of words. Remember, the person you’re communicating with is a human just like you. They deserve the respect you’d like to be treated with. ?

That golden rule may seem outdated, but it should always be in the back of your mind – especially when you’re opening up in a touchy-feely discussion. ?

5.???Be Independent

It seems counterintuitive to think about being independent when you’re opening up to someone, but it’s a big component of a healthy discussion. Despite your relationship with this person, you are you. Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions. The blame game will not resolve a thing. Understand that no one has permission or is the sole cause for making you feel a certain way other than yourself. ?

Personal growth is about you becoming more in tune with yourself. It is an ongoing process since the University of Life is always sending more lessons. FOCUS on deeply knowing and understanding what makes you happy or fulfilled. The flip of that is being aware of what triggers those undesirable emotions like anger, hurt, fear, or frustration. ?

Mastering the craft of a healthy conversation serves you and the other participants. It is the benchmark for sustaining every relationship whether it be family, friends, a boss, co-workers/staff, kids, or customers/clients. Every discussion begins and ends with your own self-control. ?

“No one ever grew from making them feel small.” - Donna J. Spina PCC, CPC, ELI-MP

For the best results in the long-term, talk to others not at them.?

#artofconversations #focusedleaders #personalprofessionaldevelopment ?

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