How a Rollercoaster and a Cracked Cake Became Symbols of My Journey Through a Lifequake

Once upon a time, I found myself at a pivotal moment in life. I had just turned 40, was newly divorced, and now a single mom to an elementary school-aged child. It was a season of upheaval, the kind that Bruce Feiler , in Life is in the Transitions, calls a "lifequake" — a massive burst of change that leads to a period of transition and renewal. At the same time, I was approaching my second year of sobriety, a milestone that felt just as important (and "quakey") as my birthday. Recovery had given me the clarity I needed to make decisions I had long avoided, and it was this newfound clear-headedness that helped me navigate the cracks that had broken open in my life.

My kiddo and I were visiting my brother, Evan, and his family in Atlanta, taking a break from Chicago for a weekend that promised fun, distraction, and perhaps a sense of grounding. The day began at an amusement park — rollercoasters that hurled me through the air with all the dizzying highs and lows of my emotions at the time. I screamed, laughed, and felt my heart drop with each loop. And, yet, the real rollercoaster was internal. While we flew through the air, I was still processing what it meant to start over, to embrace a future that was unknown, uncertain, and terrifying. I had made big decisions — about my marriage, about motherhood, about recovery, even about what it meant for me to make new friends at 40 — but I still didn’t fully understand where those choices would take me.

That evening, we returned to my brother’s home for dinner. It was the first birthday I’d ever celebrated without my "OGs," Mom and Dad. Though they had visited us for a fun Halloween in Chicagoland and an early birthday celebration just two weeks earlier (and they were still very alive as they are today), the slight deviation from our norms underscored the enormity of the shift happening in my life. The traditions I had always known were shifting, too, much like the foundation I’d once relied on. And yet, there was something grounding in my brother’s effort to keep tradition alive—he cooked the birthday meal we always enjoyed, a gesture that tied me to my past, even as the future felt wide open.

Then came the cake. My niece and sister-in-law, Margaret, had baked a beautiful cake, and upon assembly, it cracked. Infused with Margaret's unassuming and unmistakably wonderful sense of humor, they dubbed it the “quake cake,” and as we all laughed, the unintentional metaphor hit me; now, it’s a memory I wholly savor. Life was full of cracks—divorce, single motherhood, sobriety—but even with those breaks, there was sweetness. The cake was imperfect, yet delicious. And so, too, was life in that moment—broken in places, but rich with meaning.

Bruce Feiler writes that "1 in 10 life transitions becomes a lifequake," and that we’ll spend about half of our adult lives in periods of transition. That birthday marked the beginning of my journey through such a lifequake—a time when clarity through recovery and the support of loved ones gave me the strength to not just survive the cracks, but to rebuild in new and beautiful ways. The clarity that sobriety brought me helped me make decisions rooted in my values. It wasn’t easy, but with each choice I made, I felt a little more grounded in my purpose.

Now, as I approach the five-year anniversary of that birthday, I realize how much has evolved since that moment. Feiler talks about transitions as opportunities for renewal, and I can see clearly that the cracks in my life were necessary. They allowed new growth through the cracks, reforesting the possibilities I couldn’t have imagined before. Today, I assist facilitators at SMART Recovery meetings and am training to become a facilitator myself. Recovery wasn’t just about abstaining from old habits—it was about embracing a new way of life, one where I could dream bigger, reach higher, and be grounded in who I truly am.

"Motivation is not something we wait for, it’s something we CREATE."

For anyone reading this who is in the midst of—or perhaps forecasting—a lifequake, I invite you to be curious. What if this upheaval isn’t the end of your story? What if, instead of just weathering the storm, you thrive through it, clarifying your purpose, aligning with your values, and creating a life that feels meaningful?

Pro Tip: Motivation is not something we wait for, it’s something we CREATE. Working with a Certified Professional Co-active Coach (CPCC) can serve the expedience, quality, and reach of your transitions, resourcing it with intention, accountability, and fierce courage. A coach holds the space for you to dream, to stretch into your greatness, and to build a future that might feel out of reach today but is entirely possible tomorrow.

At 40, I could not have imagined the woman I would be at 45. And yet, here I am, two months out from it, with a deep, deep sense of self and a vibrant, inspiring vision for the future. Bruce Feiler reminds us that lifequakes aren’t about just getting through the cracks, but about evolving through them. As I approach this five-year milestone, I don’t see it as an ending, but as an evolution—a chance to, as Feiler puts it, “dream another dream, and to utter the most spellbinding, life-affirming words we can utter. The words that suggest a new story is coming: ‘Once upon a time.’”

Kelly Scullin, CPCC, SHRM-SCP is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) and SHRM Senior Certified Professional (SHRM-SCP) with deep expertise as a People and Culture (HR) executive who is known for evoking trust, fostering self-discovery, and catalyzing bold action with creative, human-centered coaching techniques to inspire transformation. She is also training as a S.M.A.R.T. Recovery Facilitator with more than four and a half years of sobriety.

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