How to Respond When They Say: You Speak English So Well

Happy Monday!! Welcome to our weekly LinkedIn Newsletter: Join us at Brown Table Talk. We will be publishing every Monday to unpack our thoughts from our weekly Brown Table Talk Podcast Season 2. Our podcast which is now part of the LinkedIn Podcast Network! WOHOO!

Here are 3 compliments I have received in my career ??????

???? You speak English so well!

???? Wow, I don’t hear any accent at all!

???? I’m really impressed with how well you speak.

In this week’s episode Brown Table Talk, we tackle this very topic: How to Respond When They Say: You Speak English So Well. And well this episode caused quite THE STIR. I received many messages from individuals thanking me for addressing this topic:

“Thank you for saying this. I can relate.”

“So true! I have heard all of these as well! How did you learn such good English, when did you learn? Where did you learn?”

“Wow. And the sad thing here is that your experience is the norm, not the exception. We need to do better."

And I also received comments from individuals who said the following:

People are too quick to see the worst in those making compliments. What happened to clarifications and giving the benefit of the doubt? Not everything is a micro-aggression.?

I worked abroad for years and being complimented on my Japanese was always one of the bright points of my day. It's nice when people notice and appreciate the effort. That's how normal, non-brainwashed people think and feel.

You should say thank you, and stop being over sensitive. It might also be a good idea to get some therapy instead of manufacturing crises where none exist.

Stop making such a big fuss about everything and try to look at the bright side. If folks compliment your English just take it with stride and do not hold a grudge against the person giving you the compliment.

As a Brown woman who was born and raised in the U.S., many make judgements about me before I have even opened my mouth. I walk into a room and they have already made their assessment. And too often in my career, they have assumed, simply because of how I look, I wouldn’t speak English very well. That I would have trouble communicating. That I wouldn’t be a very good presenter. Much to their surprise, I speak English very, very well. I am a very strong communicator. And I am a powerful storyteller.

I was taken aback by many of the comments about this podcast gaslighting me: telling me I should accept the compliment, stop complaining and move on. As Dee and I texted over the weekend about this, I realized that this is the very reason why we need Brown Table Talk. Because we need more people to understand the perspectives of Women of Color and our experiences in Corporate America. Because if you don’t understand our context and don't listen to our stories, you won’t understand what it might be like to walk in our shoes. And without attempting to build empathy for an experience that’s not your own, you can’t be on a journey to be an ally.

As always, you have a standing invitation to join us at the Brown Table Talk Podcast. Take a listen to this episode and share it with someone who is open to hearing a different perspective today.

Because change requires tough conversations. Tough conversations like these.? And we can’t change what we won’t discuss.

With Much Love and Gratitude, Mita & Dee