How to Respond When They Say: You Speak English So Well
Mita Mallick
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Here are 3 compliments I have received in my career ??????
???? You speak English so well!
???? Wow, I don’t hear any accent at all!
???? I’m really impressed with how well you speak.
In this week’s episode Brown Table Talk, we tackle this very topic: How to Respond When They Say: You Speak English So Well. And well this episode caused quite THE STIR. I received many messages from individuals thanking me for addressing this topic:
“Thank you for saying this. I can relate.”
“So true! I have heard all of these as well! How did you learn such good English, when did you learn? Where did you learn?”
“Wow. And the sad thing here is that your experience is the norm, not the exception. We need to do better."
And I also received comments from individuals who said the following:
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People are too quick to see the worst in those making compliments. What happened to clarifications and giving the benefit of the doubt? Not everything is a micro-aggression.?
I worked abroad for years and being complimented on my Japanese was always one of the bright points of my day. It's nice when people notice and appreciate the effort. That's how normal, non-brainwashed people think and feel.
You should say thank you, and stop being over sensitive. It might also be a good idea to get some therapy instead of manufacturing crises where none exist.
Stop making such a big fuss about everything and try to look at the bright side. If folks compliment your English just take it with stride and do not hold a grudge against the person giving you the compliment.
As a Brown woman who was born and raised in the U.S., many make judgements about me before I have even opened my mouth. I walk into a room and they have already made their assessment. And too often in my career, they have assumed, simply because of how I look, I wouldn’t speak English very well. That I would have trouble communicating. That I wouldn’t be a very good presenter. Much to their surprise, I speak English very, very well. I am a very strong communicator. And I am a powerful storyteller.
I was taken aback by many of the comments about this podcast gaslighting me: telling me I should accept the compliment, stop complaining and move on. As Dee and I texted over the weekend about this, I realized that this is the very reason why we need Brown Table Talk. Because we need more people to understand the perspectives of Women of Color and our experiences in Corporate America. Because if you don’t understand our context and don't listen to our stories, you won’t understand what it might be like to walk in our shoes. And without attempting to build empathy for an experience that’s not your own, you can’t be on a journey to be an ally.
As always, you have a standing invitation to join us at the Brown Table Talk Podcast. Take a listen to this episode and share it with someone who is open to hearing a different perspective today.
Because change requires tough conversations. Tough conversations like these.? And we can’t change what we won’t discuss.
With Much Love and Gratitude, Mita & Dee
Field HR Business Partner, Employee Engagement & Communications
2 年This episode was everything! Again I can’t thank you and Dee for the incredible work you are doing for WOC! ?? ?? ??
1 MILLION+Instagram|Linkedin Top Voice|2xTEDx&Josh Talks|Executive Presence Coach |Communication & Soft skills |Faculty Masters’Union Command presence:Embody credibility in VISION, VOICE&VERBIAGE Drive Influence & Impact
2 年Incredible share
PFP? | MBA | M.Com | Business rainmaker | Strategic Sales & Client Relationship Management
2 年I am always sooo tempted to mention English as my native language !! I see no reason why not. That is the language I have been exposed to / conversed in all my life, much more than my native language.
Business Development Director | Central Texas | Austin & San Antonio | Strategic Relationship Builder / Developer & Connector
2 年I too have heard similar comments. Although I was born and raised in Texas and think of myself as a true Texican, I don't pay much mind to statements like that. Being multilingual is always a magnet for comments of all types!! Thanks Dee C. Marshall & Mita Mallick for posting! Mil gracias, Obrigada, Danke sch?n, Merci Beaucoup, Salamat, Kamsahamnida!!
Helping connect people in the AEC community | Director of Business Development W.E. O'Neil Construction | 2023 SMPS Chapter President of the Year | Eldest Daughter
2 年Yes to this all. I will say that in the article someone talked about speaking Japanese and getting these compliments. I studied in Japan. My teacher(nonnative speaker) told me that you know your Japanese is good when people stop commenting on it. It’s that “otherness” that you touch on that is the point. Same with the intense interest in my genealogy. I once had a client argue (full on) that I wasn’t Indian- because I didn’t look like what he thought. I didn’t have a 23/me on hand to dispute him.