How Resilience Changes Us

I thought alot before writing this post. What is funny. Nothing is funny was my first thought. I focused on death of my first wife and my only child from drug overdose and refused to see things different. (years apart)

But I began to examine what makes me Laugh. I mean a full-on Belly-laugh and I found a slice of me I didn't realize.

In our way of expressing Trauma there is a top layer and a bottom layer. The top is how we go about in life and social carrying this burden. The bottom IS the Trauma. As time goes by after there is a settling of the burden. A seeming "understanding" and calmness after the rage and grief. There is a sense of humor about life. Remembering those who passed in this utmost important rembering the best times. How we all loved one another. We Say: I Remember YOU and Love you.

So what do we do? Find something about whom has passed which brings those living a sense of humor about the Life of those passed.

Just a bit of thing. It preserves and serves as cherishment. But don't let it override and cause you grief. It should be honor and I understand.

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Criminal Detention of our loved ones is perhaps one of the most traumatic things a family can experience. The worry about, the concerns about, the trying to understand how how and HOW one is surviving in such.

I focus on Survivorship. Not the case at hand. The positive energy created and documented of the family and trying to navigate the myriad issues of support. The good way, and the absurdly wrong way to do so.

Sometimes the defense attorney is the only advocate. That is the most important!

It is what I can do to clarify and assist. A book from Amazon which gives thought and introspective to the family member. A kosher meal approval, a discussion with prison case manager from the Mother or Parents making sure any mental health issues are addressed and just a visitation.

Sometimes there is needed and advocate for those families facing the challenge, and the defense attorney trying to manage such. This is where my skills come into focus. Just a middle layer. Someone who can call up the Jail and ask the hard questions and advocate.

I have found in my own detention times when I have never laughed so hard over things. Conversely, I have never cried so hard over things. Seeing the body of a person who had committed suicide with his eyes wide open and the "tears" over him shining as diamonds and the look on his face of "Oh No, this was Not". Absorbing this and in my counsel able to draw this up to advise.

Resilience has to be the model. This I focus on through my learned experience and personal experience. No Academic Study replaces Such.

This is the focus of my advocacy and counsel to those detained and their family.

It is okay and we will get through it. How can I Help?