How to Reset When Things Don’t Go According to Plan

Have you ever traveled some rocky roads in your personal or professional life, but had an upcoming vacation as the light at the end of your tunnel? Situations out of your control were wreaking havoc and creating negative emotions, but you knew the upcoming travel would be the respite you craved? That pretty much describes where I was last week.

After some personal hurdles that took place recently, I was beyond excited for (and desperately needing) time with my husband and two dear friends. Our light at the end of the tunnel? A 10-day adventure in Nicaragua. We were feeling pretty spoiled, honestly, as our travel companions booked and planned everything. We were in heaven to be able to go on such a unique trip with almost no legwork on our part.

I had been doing the usual things leading up to a longer vacation–making sure all my clients were taken care of, wrapping up loose ends on projects, ensuring my team had what they needed to be successful in my absence. I did all the right things to be properly set up for a carefree and rejuvenating experience.

An Uber ride and two flights later, we eagerly met our first Airbnb host, Julio, at the Nicaraguan airport. Upon arrival, it was immediately clear that everything was not okay.

He explained to us that protests had started the night before and he was unsure what was going to happen in his country. Nicaragua’s people were rising up to the government policies that were crushing their livelihood. He ensured us that, based on our travel plans, we should be fine and were very safe in the place he was taking us to for the next two nights.

To make a long story short, we were not safe. After hearing and seeing things we’ll never forget, and taking into account the U.S. Embassy’s encouragement, we retreated back home.

The photo shown here of my husband is the look of trying to figure out what to do next after finally arriving at the airport. His empty drink and visual signs of emotional depletion perfectly captured what we were all feeling: complete despair. 

We were glad to be going home safe, but we ached for the people of Nicaragua. There was no more light for us. That tunnel we’d seen it through before had collapsed. We were surrounded in darkness not knowing whether to pull away the rubble, or, simply sit there.

Gratefully, we did both.

Simply put: things did not go according to plan. To help those who may find themselves in uncharted territory, I put together 7 steps you can take to reset after an unexpected blow. Note: This process applies to any circumstance, from a state of emergency to a lost client.  

STEP 1: Keep calm and carry on. I must admit that I was pretty proud of how I handled the chaos. Staying calm and making coherent decisions ultimately made our process feel much more rational and unified us as a group. If one person starts to freak out, it can create a ripple effect that can take over all logic. Staying composed and allowing others to express their feelings in a productive way was the only possible option for us to move through the experience in one piece. 

STEP 2: Make room for grief. We were all feeling so sad–for the country, for the six months spent planning and building up to this experience. But I set a hard boundary on this: we could not give into our grief until we were safe. Once we were at the airport, we literally made space to give into our sadness. 

STEP 3: Reflect on what you experience. In the days following, we spent time intentionally talking through everything we experienced and asking each other things like, “What was going through your head at that time?” and really listening to one another. 

STEP 4: Give gratitude. In all the sadness that occurred, we ultimately got to go home safely and return to our relatively peaceful lives. We have so much to be grateful for. Spending time vocalizing those things was the beginning of reframing the experience as it fits into the bigger picture of our lives. 

STEP 5: Soak in self-care. Each day, we planned for at least one thing that was on our top list of self-care. Little things like going out to lunch together was a real treat and made us feel like we were taking care of ourselves. Both of us could have gone back to work, but that would have been unkind and unproductive for our human experience. 

STEP 6: Reflect on how you grew. Being validated and learning from the other person’s lens brought us closer together. Acknowledging, verbally and/or in writing, what we learned and how we’ve grown was a big step in moving forward. It also furthered our gratitude for the information the experience gives us–how we reacted and how we can do even better in the future. 

STEP 7: Make plans for the future. What better way to get our light back then to have something else to look forward to? Solidifying future plans brought the spark back that we needed. 

Life almost never goes according to plan. The more we can lean into what we can control, and release our anxiety and ownership over what we cannot, the more resilient and grounded we become. And trust me, if you possess those two traits life will be filled with gratitude and intention.

So what do you do when the light at the end of your tunnel fades? Grab a flashlight and find an opening to a new tunnel!

How do you reset when things don’t go according to plan?