How to replace toxicity with positivity.

Life has a way of bringing us down sometimes and it can cause us to struggle with all kinds of emotions. I sure hope you realize you are doing the best you can and realize as long as you are striving to be the best version of yourself, you most certainly can believe that you are a good person. 

The truth is everyone makes mistakes. It’s learning from the mistakes instead of beating yourself up that is key to becoming a better you. When you are mean to yourself, you kick in the flight or fight response and feel bad. Remember when you are stressed, very little energy from your body is going to cognitive processing. In other words, in that negative state, decision making can be difficult. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself!

Recently, I visited some of my family. It was great to see and spend time with my sister and brother, their spouses and children. It had been 1 ? years so we actually missed each other. This year it was easy to connect but it’s not always the case.

What I have discovered over the years of dealing with difficult people or people who have radically different points of view, especially family, is hanging out with the younger folk is a great way to have fun, engage, feel supported and connected to your family. I do love children and they love the attention. (Don’t we all!)

Besides hanging out with the kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews, how else can you manage relationships with difficult people without getting emotionally poisoned or triggered?

The key word in the above statement is MANAGE.

As you already know, if you have a toxic person in your life, dealing with them can be a real challenge. Whether you are the focus of their negativity or just sick of listening to the BMW’s (bitch, moans, and whines), it can seem impossible to be and stay in a positive, compassionate state when you are around them.

Have you noticed that just the thought of them can make you feel angry, anxious or frustrated? Let alone when you feel you have to spend time with them. Here’s the thing, your mind and body cannot tell the difference between what you are vividly imagining and what is actually real. When you think about the person, you release the same stress chemicals as when you are around them. This is how powerful your thoughts are.

Would you love to have neutral, empowering, or compassionate thoughts when you think about them and when you are around them?

I almost always have clients who experienced some type of parental abuse as a child. Some of these clients are trying to have an adult relationship with the same parents that abused them as children and still might be abusing them today. Throw in some guilt about ‘supposed to’ spend time with your parents. And then throw in the hope that their parent(s) will wake up and see that you are smart and kind and a good egg. The unresolved childhood issues, combined with these hopes and beliefs can lead you to feeling like the victim instead of the victor. (Think Why Questions- Why do they act like that? Why do I care so much? Why don’t they get me?)

Wanting our parents, boss or friends to see us and approve of us can be a strong desire. Not wanting to disappoint can be profound as well. With all these emotions and past baggage and beliefs about the world and relationships, it can be hard to navigate through the world and recognize we are in the driver’s seat – that we have choices in how to move forward with our thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions.

As you probably have realized, you can’t control others, but you can control how you show up as well as what you focus on. One of my clients discovered that it helped her to think about her parents as those old people down the street. This inspired her to feel more compassionate.

Before you deal with anyone toxic, it’s ideal to set your intentions for how you show up- in essence who you want to be when dealing with toxic peeps. In other words, you could set an intention of staying relaxed and confident or compassionate during the conversation. This puts you back in control and gives you something positive to focus on with your thoughts. 

Sure, you might have to prepare yourself and remind yourself that other people’s behavior is about them, not you. (Even if you are the focus of their negativity.) Many times, people are projecting their fears, insecurities and personal disappointments which may lead you to feeling anxious, insecure or like you are a disappointment. Make sense? If you’re an empath, which many of my clients are, you are really going to feel and absorb those negative emotions and think they are your emotions. Nope! When you recognize all of this it is easier to be more resourceful.

When you set your intention, it can also be helpful to send good energy from your heart to their heart. Think of something positive about them or about you and then send them good feelings. In the quantum world, the studies demonstrate that this helps them and you. Either way, the good news is when you focus your thoughts and feelings on something positive-gratitude, joy, creativity, enthusiasm, love, or strength, (there’s plenty more) you release chemicals in your body that make you feel good. ??

Here’s a quick way to get you to feel more positive. After reading this paragraph, (Okay, maybe we don’t actually have paragraphs anymore.) stand up with your legs shoulder with apart, arms and hands facing forwards with your head up toward the ceiling with a big, big smile on your face. Do this for a minimum of 30 seconds. You’ll begin to notice you’re feeling better.

Have questions? Want answers? Want to consistently feel more confident and trust you will be okay no matter what’s happening? You probably know what I am going to say. That’s right. GET HYPNOTIZED.

Seriously consider doing the deeper work so you can tap into your true potential.

IF YOU want to help others break through their own blocks...

BECOME A CONFIDENT, PROFESSIONAL AND POWERFUL HYPNOTIST You can train with me, in person and live in Northwest Indiana!!!!!!!  

There are other options but I am excited to let you know about the July training. Click ABOVE to learn more or just text me saying Yes I want to help others.

Here is to your joy and success!  

Randi Light

Peak Performance Coach

Hypnosis Instructor 

Healer