How a Reorg Announcement Was My Saving Grace

Dear Leader,?

Imagine your company or organization sends you an email stating?they’ll be going through a reorganization. Just reading this, your heart may drop to your gut, you may have to wipe your hands on your clothes, as suddenly, they’ve become clammier than if you were swimming at the beach. You may even need to get up and get a drink of water to calm your nerves. ?

I get. Normally, it would send a tremor of worry into hearts and minds. But 18?years ago, when this happened to me...?

I didn’t freak out. ?

I didn’t panic. ?

I didn’t plead. ?

I smiled. ?

I was relieved. ?

Leading up to this moment, I was working 12-15-hour days. I’d be up at 4:00 a.m. to make it to the gym only to be on the train and in the office by 7:00 a.m. (all on 5 hours of sleep). ?

The only thing on my mind? I had to get to the office before my manager arrived, to pull my teams’ sales numbers and commit them to memory. ?

Every day felt like?Groundhog Day:?

He would strut into my office with a coffee in hand, along with the stench of a cigarette. I was armed and ready to take on his prosecution lawyer technique of interrogating my teams’ sales results for the day prior. To say I was stressed would have been an understatement. Still, I somehow managed to compose myself. Afterall, I couldn’t let him know he was getting under my skin, even though I felt small, intimidated, insecure, and powerless. I was offered this role based on my stellar performing track record less than a year ago, only to find myself wondering?where that strong-willed, determined, confident, and ambitious woman had gone (probably pushed away with the micro-management).?

Juggling the never-ending days started impacting my marriage. With my life and my husband’s life overly evolved around my work, we’d barely speak, and if we did, words like “I want a divorce,” were tossed around. (Luckily, we’re in a good spot now, but it still doesn’t make it any less painful to reflect on.)?

As the company was preparing to announce how we’d be re-organized, I sat there imagining what life would be like if I didn’t land in the new structure and received a lay off package. ?

For many, losing their job and being packaged off would sound like a nightmare, but to me it was more like a dream. ?

I was exhausted, burnt out, and ready to run for the hills.?I had 15 years invested in the organization and would have at least a year’s worth of salary to support my family financially while I figured out what would come next.?? ?

But that destiny wasn’t in the cards for me, even though I literally prayed to be granted the package.????

Instead, out of 42 managers, I was the only one who was directly appointed into one of the new leadership roles, while my colleagues received a package or would have to go through the application process to attain one of the new roles.??

In that moment, I believed if it was my destiny to move on and out of banking, that a package would have been presented. But I didn’t get it, so I thought it was a sign instead that I was meant to stay.????

And so, I did. ?

I took the new job and committed to showing up differently, focusing on people over results, being present instead of anxious about if we’d hit our target, and prioritizing my health and home relationships?over everything. For instance, if I didn’t have time to exercise, I knew I had too much on my plate and would need to adjust.?

But I’m writing you this to tell you: don’t wait to adjust. ?

Don’t wait for your life to fall into shambles one piece at a time to make a better change in your career. Somehow, I tolerated micro-managing, overworking, a deteriorating marriage and health?before asking myself, “Do I even want this anymore?”?

You are not entirely your career. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow. You deserve nothing but brilliant work that aligns with who you are, and don’t settle for anything less.?

Sincerely,?

Finka Jerkovic ?