How Relaxed Are You, Really?

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We all love to think we’re relaxing when we sit down with a warm cup of tea or coffee, but are we truly letting go of the tension we carry? Most of us don’t even realise how much stress we hold onto until we pause and focus on something as simple as our face. Take a moment right now. Check-in with the muscles around your eyes, jaw, or forehead. Are they completely at ease, or are they subtly clenched, holding onto the day’s stress?

This tension isn’t just limited to our faces; it’s often spread throughout the body. Shoulders, hips, back—these areas can hold onto unresolved stress for years. You might think you're relaxed, but your body may tell a different story. This unaddressed tension doesn’t just make you feel stiff or uncomfortable; it can manifest as pain, poor posture, or even chronic health issues. The good news? There are simple, effective techniques to release this tension, allowing you to relax deeply and reset your body and mind.

Why We Hold Onto Stress

Our modern world might seem miles away from the dangers of ancient times, but our bodies haven’t forgotten those primitive instincts. Back then, staying alert—ready to fight or flee—meant survival. Whether it was avoiding predators or preparing for unpredictable threats, stress kept us alive.

The problem today is that we’re no longer being chased by saber-toothed tigers, but our bodies still respond to everyday stress—deadlines, arguments, or worrying about the future—as if danger is lurking just over the hill. This constant state of vigilance takes a toll, leaving us perpetually tense, even when we think we’re relaxing.

How to Truly Relax and Let Go

The key to deep relaxation is recognizing and actively releasing the tension we unconsciously hold. Here are a couple of techniques you can try to help your body and mind enter a state of calm:

1. Body Scan Meditation

• Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Starting at the top of your head, bring your attention to each part of your body, working your way down to your toes.
• As you focus on each area, notice any tightness or discomfort. Imagine releasing that tension with each exhale. For example, soften your forehead or unclench your jaw.
• This practice helps you tune into areas you didn’t even realize were tense.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

• Start by tensing one group of muscles, such as those in your hands or feet, for 5-10 seconds.
• Then release the tension slowly while exhaling deeply. Notice the difference between tension and relaxation.
• Work through your body, one muscle group at a time. By intentionally tensing and relaxing, you retrain your body to let go of stored stress.

3. The Power of Breath

• Shallow breathing often accompanies stress. To counter this, practice deep belly breathing: Inhale deeply through your nose, letting your belly expand. Exhale slowly through your mouth, allowing your body to sink into relaxation.
• Even a few minutes of mindful breathing can reset your nervous system.

4. Gentle Movement

• Simple stretches or yoga can release built-up tension, especially in areas like the hips or shoulders. Movements like a gentle forward fold or twisting can unlock areas where stress tends to accumulate.

The Benefits of Letting Go

When you make these practices part of your routine, you’ll notice more than just a relaxed body. You may find yourself sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and less reactive to daily stressors. A relaxed state also promotes healing, as your body shifts from "fight-or-flight" mode into "rest-and-digest."

Taking just a few minutes each day to consciously relax can transform your overall well-being. The ancient stress response may have served our ancestors, but mastering relaxation is our modern-day survival tool in today's world.

So, next time you sit down with that cup of tea, pause for a moment. Breathe deeply. Notice where you’re holding tension. And ask yourself: how relaxed are you really? The answer may surprise you—and inspire you to start letting go.

Cheers, and I hope this helps,

Gary

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