How To Rekindle A Marriage During Separation (How To Get Your Marriage Back On Track After A Separation)

How to rekindle a marriage during separation - How to get your marriage back on track after a separation.?

There are several vital steps, which need to be undertaken for a successful reconciliation through marriage separation. Marriage separation, if done right, is one of the possible ways to harmonize a damaged marriage.

Steps to Marriage Separation Reconciliation Include:

1. Setting Tentative Guidelines.

How long will your marriage separation last? Will you communicate throughout your separation, if yes, how often and for how long? Will you tell your relatives and friends about your separation? Will you show up at holidays and parties together?

2. Being Consistent.

Once you have set your marriage separation guidelines, you should strive to abide by them.

3. Willing to Change.

Making efforts to positively change yourself will often inspire your partner to do exactly the same. Remember, relationships are a two-way street. If you concentrate on changing yourself your spouse will most likely follow.

4. Being Honest with Yourself.

Why are you seeking separation? If the underlying reason is, for example, teaching your spouse a lesson, then separation will most likely not help you and your partner in any reconciliation.

5. Don't Isolate Yourself.

It's important not to lock yourself up in seclusion for the whole time during separation. Going out and seeing family members and friends will usually help to refocus, revitalize yourself, and rekindle your hopes.

6. Bearing Children in Mind.

How can you make your separation easier for your children? First, it is very important to tell the children, that they have nothing to do with their parents separating. It often happens that children do not talk about it, but they do think about it.

7. Considering Counseling.

It may be a good idea to also consider counseling for you and your spouse. Counseling may be twice as effective at the time of your separation, since both you and your spouse will have time to think everything over in tranquil surroundings.

Trial marriage separation is similar to trial cohabiting before getting married. It may become the first step to your divorce. However, it may also become a large step towards your reconciliation.

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Are You Panicking Yet? This is How You Can Start Working on Fixing the Problems to Get Them Back

Now both of you are done. How do you cope with these new changes? How do you start thinking about how your life will be without him or her? How do you start living without them being around? All these questions are going through your mind and panic start taking over. Now, take a DEEP breath, calm down, keep your nerves under control, and start working on yourself. Panic is the enemy my friend. Panic will make you do stupid and uncontrollable things like texting your spouse 50 times a minute, or calling them at every minute of the day. Panic equals desperation and this is one thing YOU DO NOT WANT TO SHOW to your spouse. Desperation is what will push them away further. DESPERATION is what will give them more reason why they left you in the first place. You have to show calm approach, a indifferent approach on their action. Show them that you can live without them and you already emotionally moved on. When you pull out, they pull back in. You need to strategize about your relationship. You need to focus on what you need to do to make yourself a better person. If they see these changes, they will be curious about the new YOU, who YOU are now to them and to everyone around you. You can't lose control, and losing control is very easy to do.

When you break up, your whole goes into a world of panic, a world when you don't know where life is going to take you, a world where you wonder how can everything be fixed and how you can have your spouse back. We will work on that later. But before you can regain this relationship, you need to eliminate this panic feeling of yours and be a rational person.

NOW, what do you do?

TAKE A DAMN BREAK. Think about it, your spouse has just gave you a GREEN light to go do whatever damn thing you want. Go! Have fun, because when he/she does come back, you are back again, in the same position as you were before, which seems to be great now, but just wait and see how it can be like going back to jail.

So take that break and THANK THEM. Thank them for giving you that separation. Remember, since they are the one who initiated, they are the one who can't really blame you for their mistakes since they are the one who left. That is the best scenario for you, because if they do come back, they will need to work twice as hard to get you back, in terms of trust, love, etc.. So you get the best of both world, a newly found freedom and when they do come back, a new women/men begging you for forgiveness. This is the best position in your LIFE my friends, the BEST. Now go and Enjoy and forget about them for now. Do not show up at location you know they will be in, do not snoop in their email account to see any rendez-vous with a special someone, who damn cares. Go and meet people and enjoy yourself. Maybe after this newfound freedom, you might be the ONE who doesn't want them back. You might be the one who doesn't care about them anymore. Who knows? You'll never find out if you stay home and not go out to explore. So go, have fun, enjoy yourself, be out and about with friends, live your LIFE.

Now, you might read this article and say, Hmmm, that makes perfect sense, yes, all this is amazing advice, I like what he is saying, Wow, i love that newfound freedom as he is mentioning. Ok, let me go out. Then two seconds later, you feel like your whole world is crashing down and trying to regain your lost love, show them how much you really care about them before its too late to recover the feelings. Please, do not do that. I know it is hard, I know you are in pain, but Please, do not do that. You will do a lot of things to try to hurt them for what they've done to you. You will probably try to:

Say things to hurt your ex

Try to make them jealous

Unkind words to make them feel uncomfortable,

Be a stalker

Etc..

All this is common human behavior but try to avoid them at all cost. Ignoring the break up is the best punishment to your ex. Think about it, if they break up, and you stay indifferent to all of the changes, and not care much about it, who do you think will wonder why are you acting this way? Why all this doesn't hurt you. Of course, at that point in the relationship, if they are the one who initiated the breakup, they will not certainly care about how you feel and if you are indifferent, they might be happy because it will avoid them dealing with someone who might make a scene. So just DON'T do anything. Just accept it, wish them luck, and hope they find something or someone that can make them happy. That is all.

Now, you might ask, when is the best time to initiate contact? Well, give it a good month or two, if needed. This is when you can feel good enough to talk to them, or visit them or whatever. Do not do anything in between. Do not reach for them, do not ping them on messenger, nothing, please.

If you want to get back with them, you need to clear your head, and to do that, you need to not see them, not talk or anything. Just go and relax, take good care of yourself, enjoy your free time and freedom, do things that you never did during your relationship, change your wardrobe, exercise/bodybuild, etc..

All these changes are positive for your well being.

Now, all this is great if you do not need to see your spouse on a regular basis. But what happens if your spouse is a coworker, or you have the same set of friends? What do you do? Well, it is not time to open any line of communications, but you also need to be polite, and say hello, and move on to your merry way. That should be enough ammo to make them realize you are a changed person.

Now, temptations might make you want to ignore them, but doing so might make them feel like you are bitter, angry and trying to get back at them. So be nice, polite, sweet, calm and present a cool demeanor even if you cross your spouse with a new person in their life. Yes, it might eat you up inside, but ignoring it will be the best weapon you may have.

This time apart is needed for you to ride this roller coaster of negative emotions and to move into a strategic mode so you can reevalutate your next plan. You need a plan to have a clear approach on what you need to accomplish in the months to come. You also need to cool off. This is crucial. You just can't do that in a few days.

Remember, when you take this time apart, you also need to realize that they ALSO need that time apart from you, time to realize what they want from you and the relationship.

You may have heard the phrase: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" Well, this is exactly the case. Give them time to miss you, but if you are constantly texting them, that won't happen.

You need to show them you are respecting their choices of taking a break, you need to show them your willingness to also move forward. Giving your former relationship a break also helps you to appear more mature, calm cool and collected, which might be attributes she or he might be looking in the NEW you.

Now, what should the NEW you do during these stressful times?

Reconnect with old friends: Need to call your friends that you probably ignored during the relationship and reconnect with them. Always important to never redo the same mistakes and ignore them the next time around. This is crucial to always keep your base of friends and pay attention to them

Renew a hobby: Go do what you enjoyed doing but never had the time doing. Explore these options, you'll be glad you did.

Focus more energy on work: Yes, do what you love doing at work, focus on your new tasks, do more for your company to be recognize, do not overdo it because that can work against you.

Avoid depression: Do not fall in that trap. Go out, enjoy yourself, be around family and friends, create your support group, etc..

Do what it takes to make yourself better. Do what it takes to make you happier. Do whatever it takes to make changes to better yourself because if you want him/her to come back to you, don't expect them to change, but if you do, I can promise that you will see them coming back to a NEW person, and enjoying the fruits of your labor. However, if they do decide NOT to come back, whoever you will be with, I can assure you that they will be very happy to date someone that is mature, smart, and a great person to be with.

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