How to Reinvent Networking

Almost no one enjoys cold calling. You know the odds are against you; it’s a longshot that anyone will actually need what you sell and turn into a customer. In a lot of ways, says Derek Coburn, traditional networking is just like cold calling – only more dangerous. “Cold calling is something you constantly want to avoid because of the negative reinforcement you’re getting from people. But when you go to networking events, I don’t think many people step back and say, ‘I’ve been to five or ten events this month, and I’m not even sure if it was beneficial, or a good use of my time.’ You’re going and having a glass of wine, meeting some nice people, and you never step back and say, ‘Is there something better I can be doing with my time?’”

Coburn, the author of Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections, believes that traditional “cattle call” gatherings fool us into believing we’ve been productive, when we’re actually wasting time with an untargeted approach. Instead, he suggests several alternative methods to consider that can focus and accelerate your networking.

First, he urges professionals to make themselves indispensable to clients by bringing them new business.  “So many professionals read up on best practices in their industry,” says Coburn. They might be great at their job, but with competition fierce, it’s hard to convince clients you’re the very best. Instead, become “the ultimate tie-breaker” by going above and beyond. Coburn says you have to ask “What else can I provide, in addition to being great at delivering what’s expected of me, to stand out and be different?” Introducing clients to new business opportunities and becoming an overall connector and resource will ensure they view you as an integral part of their team.

Next, create your own events. If you want to ensure you’re connecting with like-minded professionals who share a similar worldview, the best strategy is often to host events yourself and control the guest list. That’s what Coburn and his wife Melanie have done with cadre, the Washington, DC and Baltimore-based networking group they started to bring top professionals together.

Finally, leverage the power of online networking. Social networking can become a rabbit hole if you’re not careful with how you deploy your time. But when used strategically, Coburn is a huge believer in its power. With Twitter, he says, “You can identify who you want to meet, and who you think you might be able to help or add value for. You can listen to what people’s challenges or opportunities might look like, and you can ignore the people that try to talk to you in a way that’s not productive or is selfish.” The majority of his time on Twitter isn’t spent blasting out messages; instead, he estimates that perhaps 80% of his tweets are “@ replies” – specific conversations with individuals. “It’s about learning more about people and what they have going on, as opposed to pushing stuff out there,” he says.

Too often, networking is either baldly transactional or a complete waste of time. Coburn’s strategies invite us to ask who we really want to meet, and how we can help others first.

This post originally appeared on Forbes.com.

Dorie Clark is a marketing strategist who teaches at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. She is the author of Reinventing You and Stand Out, and you can receive her free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook.