How to Reframe Resistance and Gain more Flow

I have a dream of writing a book, and this year, I started to plan the outline and what I wanted to write about, and then I began to feel resistance. I felt a resistance to writing on every writing task I had, every time I sat down to write; not a great start when you want to write a book!?

As quickly as I created my outline, I put off writing, writing the book and any writing task. I told myself that I was not a writer. I have an old story from school where I did not do well in English class and grammar. Grammar still plagues me, especially as I try to learn German; however, that is a different blog post. Despite these stories and progression, I have a deep desire to share my knowledge and adventure with others to inspire and encourage them to step into living their life fully.?

When we resist something, the universe has a way of providing us with more of what we need to learn until we learn how to deal with it. And this happened to me. I had so many tasks piling up for writing, and I was melting down.?

• I had to rewrite CVs and LinkedIn Bios for clients?
• I had to create my Bio for a potential new job opportunity
• I had to prepare process documents to transition tasks?
• I had to write course content for two courses.

I felt I couldn't do it. I did not think of myself as a writer. So I let the tasks build up and kept fighting them, getting that depressed feeling of despair and overwhelm. I wanted to run away, give up and hide. I would find other things to do instead of writing, even cleaning the house became a more exciting task. Just through writing this article, my home is now sparkling.?

Life has a way of giving you what your need to open and grow. But, if you keep resisting, it will come back and persist. During a leadership retreat, my trainer said,?

"what you resist… will persist".

I thought it was a great comment, but I don't think I fully understood the concept until later. And as I write, I feel I am gaining a deeper understanding. It's like trying to walk through the door, except I miss the door and keep walking into the wall. And I keep doing it repeatedly, hoping something will change and I will miraculously be able to create a hole to walk through. But, it is hard work, and I do not get anywhere.?

GIFT OF RESISTANCE

I needed to progress and get some work done. I needed to lean into the resistance and make friends with it. I now see resistance as a gift. So when I feel the tension beginning, I give myself some space. I get curious when I feel that sense of resistance, and I ask myself a few questions. Using my Writing example, it looks like this:?

Q:?This is interesting; I see I am putting off this work; what am I resisting here?

A: I hate writing, I am not a writer

Q:?Is that really true??

A: No, I have written some blog articles and had feedback that other people enjoyed them and could relate and were inspired.

Q:?What IS stopping you?

A: I want to get it right, I want it to be perfect, and it doesn't always come easy. It feels difficult.?

Q:?And if you were being honest with yourself - what IS stopping you??

A: And if I am honest, I don't want to be judged by others, being told that I cannot write or that what I write is wrong.?

By asking the questions and coaching myself, I got to the?root of my issue?with writing, which is that I don't want to get it wrong, be judged or have someone criticise me.?

LEARN & GROW

My self-coaching helped me get to the root problem behind my resistance to writing; however, I need to learn and grow from this understanding. I wanted to reframe my resistance into something that would inspire me and allow me to progress.?

Leaning into the resistance, getting to know it, understanding what it is and what is behind it. I needed to learn and embrace that nobody is perfect; we are all different and unique. And by embracing my writing, I am helping others learn from the courses I write, get the jobs they want, and inspire someone to make changes in their lives to do the things they desire. What if, through my writing, I contribute to others' success. That is a goal I can lean into and believe.

I have a choice to listen to my internal beliefs that are causing my resistance or reframe the thoughts to inspire me and move me forward. I chose to reframe my thoughts:

"I am not a writer."

?to?

"I am an imperfect writer who inspires and contribute to others' success."

My reframing allows me to be imperfect and capture my words on a page as they come out. Through connecting with my creative space to inspire, the words came easier and flowed more quickly. It's what inspired the name of this newsletter, "The Imperfect Writer" and permits me to be uniquely me, mistakes and all!

When you are feeling resistance, stop pushing headfirst into it; instead, take this approach:

• Lean into the resistance - don't fight it, instead get curious?
• What is the gift in the resistance??
• What is a belief behind the resistance that you need to let go of?
• How could you reframe the resistance to inspire you?

Good luck and let me know how you approach resistance.