How to reduce the suffering caused by attachment

Attachment and expectations are at the root of emotional suffering.

The idea that life ought to be only this particular way or else it's not worth it. And because it isn't so in the moment, you feel TERRIBLE living.

This ideal life belief has led to the depression of many.

Many of us have plans about how we wish our individual lives would pan out. And that's great. It's a good thing to have set goals as it gives meaning and direction to our lives.

However, it's also important we understand that no matter how well we have our lives planned, there could be miscellaneous events. We should have this in mind.

Otherwise we'll be immobile once anything apart from our goals become our lot at a particular time. And we become unable to move forward because of the disappointment we feel.

When life meets you in an opposite and less desirable state, one less than what you had envisioned for yourself, it can be humbling, to say the least.?

Not many people survive this turnaround of events.

We are often attached to our dreams and expectations of ourselves and the events around us. This attachment can also come from a place of total trust in our abilities to do that which we planned.

Although this isn't bad, provided we can be grounded enough in the times when we fall below the mark, to allow the different turn of events without taking it personally as who we are.

Our failure to separate events from our Being is part of being attached. It is part of the suffering. It immobilizes us.

Once we become attached to how things ought to be or the directions it must flow; without leaving room for other outcomes, it becomes harder to separate who we are from the events that happen to us. It is at this point some would label themselves failures, because they failed. And others might come to believe nothing good can come out of them, if the failure is frequent.

If we find ourselves attached much to events we're into, it's important we also learn how to detach, once those events are over. Even when we win. Because we can also become super inflated with our ego to assume we're better than those who failed once we have our win. This makes attachment an issue. And a reason it can contribute to our suffering.

Attachment is the resistance to change. It is refusing to change our minds as situation changes. It is obstinately holding on to what no longer serves us regardless.

We can be attached to the feelings an outcome brings even. Or to the image we have of an individual. Or to the event itself to assume we're one with what happened.

With attachment, letting go is difficult. It's like letting a part of us go. This is why attachment can immensely contribute to our suffering. It makes flow almost impossible.

And we need flow if we must be flexible and transformable.

How easier would you have moved on from life's events if not for the attachment to them or the meanings we derive from them? Becoming attached gives the impression that the event is you and you are it. This makes moving on difficult to do.

And most of us are guilty of this. The reason we suffer so much. I'm equally guilty sometimes.

But feeling guilty isn't enough to deal with the issue. Because detaching from many things around us could add a great deal to our happiness and reduce the suffering.

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