How to recognize co-dependency in a relationship by Alan Weiss
Alan Weiss
Alan Weiss - 38 years of real estate experience. When it comes to selling or buying a property, there's only one speed and one level of commitment: 110%.
A co-dependent relationship is not a healthy one. Often these relationships start off innocently with one of the partners trying to help the other. Over time the relationship slides into co-dependency. A relationship is co-dependent when one partner is over-reliant on the other either emotionally or psychologically. These are unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships where one or both of the partners are unable to cope on their own, relying on the presence of the other in their lives.
The relationship that started off with the best of intentions often deteriorates to an enabling one. The co-dependent is always there to pick up the pieces when the partner gets into trouble, so they don’t live with the consequences of their actions. The cycle of immaturity, irresponsibility and sometimes substance abuse remains unchecked, because of this.
In these types of relationships, the co-dependents are the caretakers. They may have started out happily in these relationships as they felt needed. Before long they will start to feel the frustration of taking responsibility for all the actions and emotions in the relationship. The co-dependent will eventually find the situation quite distressing. They will feel trapped in a thankless and unhealthy relationship.
Some co-dependents may find themselves repeating the cycle of co-dependency in other relationships and in friendships. It may have started in one relationship and developed over time. They may also have learned the behaviour, the result of growing up in a dysfunctional household.
How do you know if you are co-dependent?
Everyone at some stage in their lives will experience some characteristics of co-dependency. If the behaviour is repeated or carried from one relationship to another, you may be co-dependent. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be capable of living independent lives. If you can’t separate yourself from your relationship you may be co-dependent.