How To Recognize Bullying and Mobbing

We have become so accustomed to bullying behavior that many times we don't recognize it when it is starting.? In an effort to extend the benefit of doubt to others it is easy to fool ourselves into downplaying bullying. Our team endeavors to be a voice for bullying targets and survivors of bullying and mobbing. We are not intellectuals that talk about this subject without real understanding. Through sharing our street-smart knowledge, we want to help bullying and mobbing targets understand what to do and help them continue to be successful in their careers.

Sadly, because we overlook the early warning signs of bullying behavior, the behavior tends to get much worse.? In some circumstances the bully will attract more people to join him in his aggression against the target. This is when bullying becomes mobbing.?

As explained in a previous article, Bullying And How To Be Successful As A Target | LinkedIn, organizations and HR are not equipped to adequately handle bullying and mobbing. Our goal is to assist you in recognizing when bullying and/or mobbing are happening and teach you how to respond professionally.? In this way you can minimize the detrimental effects of workplace bullying to your personal life and your career.

First, let us consider why you have become the target of a bully.? Most likely you are different, smart, very capable, and think quite differently from the majority.? Four percent of people in the workplace are self-declared bullies and this group of four percent know how to exploit our weaknesses.? Bullies use force, seen and unseen, to fulfill their selfish desires and don't care if we are damaged as a result.

Crafty bullies often know how to exploit us because we tend to give others the benefit of doubt.? It can be a weakness for us to naively believe that all people are like us. Because we are vulnerable and often transparent, we are exploited by bullies.?

By being helped to recognize the bully’s behaviors we can take proactive steps to protect ourselves. We must understand that bullies do not deserve the benefit of doubt, and they should be considered very dangerous.? Bullies see no reason to change when there is no pressure from society for them to do so. By not firmly addressing bullying as a society we have seen it increase rapidly in the workplace over the years and it will continue to increase and affect more of us.

Bullying is the repeated and persistent nonphysical mistreatment of a person. It is defined by the cruel actions that often lead to feelings of oppression, belittlement, humiliation, or de-energization, such as personal insults, ridiculing jokes, threats, public shaming, invasion of personal space, or unwanted personal contact. The goal of a bully is to gain power over another person and make themselves the dominant individual.?

The most common form of adult bullying comes in the form of abusive workplace relationships. A 2021 Workplace Bullying Institute survey found that 48.6 million people have experienced bullying firsthand at the workplace. Sadly, 57% of the workforce are unaware that bullying happens at work, or they do not recognize it.? 30% of workers are bullied, 19% are witnesses to bullying and 4% of the workforce are self-declared bullies.? (Source: page 3, report: 2017-WBI-Report.pdf (workplacebullying.org).?

?Workplace mobbing (group bullying or bullying on ‘steroids’) is the purposeful humiliation, degradation, and terrorization of an individual by a group of people in an effort to remove her/him from the organization, often resulting in reputational damage, traumatization, health consequences, financial hardship, and job loss for the victim (Davenport, Schwartz, and Elliot, 1999; Sperry and Duffy, 2014). Courtenay Baber, a licensed professional counselor from Manakin Sabot, Virginian explains that mobbing was once used to describe animal predatory behavior but now describes a group of coworkers that humiliate, harass, and terrorize one targeted co-worker.?

Unfortunately, there are no statistics to show what percentage of bullying is mobbing. Some articles on this subject speculate that about half of bullying is mobbing.

Below are facts and statistics about Bullying in the workplace.

• About 70 percent of bullies are male, and about 30 percent are female.
• Both male and female bullies are more likely to target women.
• Sixty-one percent of bullying comes from bosses or supervisors, thirty-three percent comes from co-workers. The remaining six percent of bullying occurs when people at lower employment levels bully their supervisors or others above them.
• Protected groups are bullied more frequently (immigrants, older people, females, people of color). Only 19 percent of bullied people are white.

Bullying at work can quickly become mobbing:

“Mobbing is bullying by your coworkers to either have the co-worker come into compliance with other workers or in hopes of having the co-worker quit,” explains Courtenay Baber. A mobbing group is led by a bully.

The points below illustrate why the mob chooses a particular person as their target.

• The mob feels personally threatened by the target who is a top-performing co-worker.
• The mob may behave in a manner that is racist and/or sexist.? They may also employ other types of group discrimination and prejudice towards the target.?
• The mob is jealous. A 2021 review notes that bullies often have low self-esteem. They are jealous of a target that has admirable qualities or seems well-liked by others.

The following are actions the mob engages in against you as the target.

• They will leave you out of group sessions
• They will not invite you to group lunches
• They will warn new employees to steer clear of you.

Bullying is often, but not always, hierarchical where a person with more power, per designated position or social influence, targets a single individual with less power for abuse. In contrast, mobbing is non-hierarchical and involves a group of perpetrators who collectively gang up on the target with the sole purpose of pushing him/her out.?

Mobbing is a product of organizational dynamics that establish “in-groups” and “out-groups,” operate under a veil of secrecy, discourage questioning, lack due process, and are more interested in preserving outward appearances than getting curious about entrenched problems (Duffy and Sperry, 2014).

Unfortunately, reporting bullying or mobbing to Human Resources (HR) will create more harm to the targets. Statistics show that 71% of the targets of workplace bullying are negatively impacted by HR or organizational actions which result in job loss or mental/ psychological harm to the target.? Reports are too common about targets of workplace bullying who have suffered greatly and even taken their own lives after no one believed, supported them and/or even completely ignored the bullying workplace behaviors and the debilitating impact on the target.?

We strongly recommend not to report bullying to HR but to adopt recommendations in this article:? Bullying And How To Be Successful As A Target | LinkedIn.?

A few examples of bullying tactics are:

• Targeted practical jokes
• Being purposely misled about work duties, such as incorrect deadlines or unclear directions
• Continued denial of requests for time off without an appropriate or valid reason
• Threats, mockery, humiliation, jokes, gossip, or other verbal abuse.
• Excessive performance monitoring. Examples of this include: wrongful blame, work sabotage/interference, stealing or taking credit for your ideas, negative performance reviews that aren’t justified, shouting or threats of firing or demotion, denying time off or blocking a transfer to another department.
• Overly harsh or unjust criticism
• Retaliation for talking about the bullying.? This can lead to accusations of lying, further exclusion, refused promotions, or other retaliation.
• Unrealistic production goals, forced overtime, or singling out those who can’t keep up.
• Co-workers might become quiet or leave the room when you walk in, or they might simply ignore you.
• Being left out of office culture, such as chitchat, parties, or team lunches.
• A supervisor or manager might overly check on you, for example asking to meet multiple times a week without a clear reason.
• You are asked to do new tasks or tasks outside their typical duties without training or help, even when help is requested.
• Your work is frequently monitored, to the point where you begin to doubt yourself and have difficulty completing regular tasks.
• You are asked to do difficult or seemingly pointless tasks and are ridiculed or criticized when you can’t get them done.
• There may be a pattern of your documents, files, other work-related items, or personal belongings suddenly missing.

When the employee is the bully, they may act in the following manner with their supervisor:

• Employee shows continued disrespect to their manager or their colleague?
• Employee refuses to complete tasks
• Employee spreads rumors about the manager or colleague?
• Employee does things to make their manager or colleague seem incompetent

Bullying is a modern-day scourge, and it is happening in too many organizations. In order for you to experience the best outcome guidance is needed.? Ideally, this guidance comes from others who have successfully overcome bullying and mobbing behavior in their workplaces.

We lack effective laws to protect us from bullies, and HR doesn’t know how to handle bullying situations in a way that adequately protects targets.? Bullying behavior does not have to result in destroying hope, lives, and careers.? You can be successful in your efforts to protect yourself when others try to bully or mob you!

We trust that this follow up article provides you with additional information to help you recognize bullying in the workplace.? We want you to use and have success with the tools that we recommended to handle bullying at work while succeeding in your career.?

Remember you have the POWER! Remember you are not the problem!? Do not be afraid to be yourself and to continue to accomplish the extraordinary at work! Do not give up and do not give your POWER to the BULLIES!

If you need any help, please reach out to us to discuss how we can help and support you!

Author: Elena Balasa linkedin.com/in/elenabalasa

Co- Author: Gean Van Horn linkedin.com/in/gean-van-horn