How to recognise the stuff you're good at

Talking about your strengths isn't just something you should be doing because, well, you've earned it.

It also helps you:

?? Focus on the things you're good at and make them even better

?? Discover more strengths more easily

?? Build your confidence

If you are thinking about a promotion, a new role, a change of direction, then being able to articulate your value is essential.

So, how do you talk about your strengths?

First you need to identify them!

Some days, acknowledging just to ourselves that we're good at something can feel like a hurdle.

Here's how I tackle it when the gremlins take hold:

1. Get in a safe comfy space where you feel calm and settled.
2. Take a moment to get centred and focused. Take some nice deep breaths, notice how you're feeling and allow any tension to melt with your breath.
3. Focus in on the feeling of doing something that makes you feel really accomplished and happy. You don't need an example yet, just bring the feeling up. Really feel it, notice how it feels in your body, what emotions start coming up, have a little smile at the feeling in your body.
4. Now start scanning through your memories and moments in your life for that feeling. Start making some notes on each memory that comes up. You're not looking for a skill yet, you're just noticing a memory. You might need to do this a couple of times if you're not used to it, just allow it to happen in the way you need and keep the pressure off.
5. Once you have a list of memories, look for the common threads. What are the things that you were doing in these moments? Where are the patterns and similarities? List these out
6. Now you've got your list of strengths!

Finally, when you're worried you'll sound like you're bragging if you talk about what you've achieved or what you're good at, keep this in mind:

??Firstly, remember that there isn't a limit to how much 'good' there is to go round. It's not a pie. You having success doesn't take away from someone else's opportunity to have it too.

??Ask yourself if your audience is really likely to judge you, or instead if it'll be interesting or useful for them to know. Focus on how it's going to help you.

??If someone does have a negative reaction, remember that there could be a hundred different things that could be going on with them that you don't know about. It's usually nothing to do with you. You don't need to accommodate their discomfort.