How to recognise an extraordinary manager?

When finishing university 10 years ago, I had a complete different perception than what was about to happen in the following years. To be honest I thought to learn a lot, and stay with a single company for several years, becoming more senior over time. Of course, it ended up totally different but as naive I was, I thought the work and tasks were the most important and challenging things required to become happy and successful.

While starting to navigate through job opportunities, my main focus was to find a challenging job which included the latest tech, having the brightest and most intelligent people. I found plenty of interesting companies, but by then I wasn't aware what the impact of an extraordinary manager could/would mean, and definitely not why it is extremely important to have one.

And so it began

So what had to happen, happened: my first day at my first job. I was so happy and definitely wasn't realising what was going to happen. I had very smart colleagues surrounding me, there were huge complexities and challenges to be solved, but management was not there. In the beginning I started telling myself this was normal: it is like this everywhere, this is what working in tech means. After 9 months writing code, having a few team meetings, I went to the HR director and opened the conversation. This was not a random action, I prepared very well in advance as it was the first time. I wrote a few things down, and the conversation ended up kind of emotional. A few things I told are:

• I'm not happy, because I don't know who I'm making happy.
• I don't understand what I'm doing, because my manager doesn't know.
• I have no manager who can help me, because my manager is a developer.

So what I totally missed while accepting this job was the entire human thing around working in the tech industry. What I learned that day is that we don't work for companies, we work for people (customers, colleagues and your manager).

My hope for better

So as you can expect, I've quit that job for once and for all. Still I had great colleagues, but the environment and ecosystem wasn't a match. I learned this was a hard requirement for the next ones.

It didn't take too long to find a new job, and yet again I was still looking for cool technologies, but took empathy and clear communications more in the crosshairs. First job interview was great, the manager was eager to help me and get me onboard, but I sensed at the same time the personal agenda. This was a game changer, but later on it ended up, that yet once again my hunch was right.

Let's be honest, this new job was a huge upgrade: great colleagues, clear guidance, fun projects, teambuildings, etc. So what was wrong? Well let me reveal this already, I've quit this job more quickly then the previous one, because I learned to trust my intuition.

During the first months of this new job, I was really happy, got great feedback from my manager and colleagues about my work and performance. It looked that I found what I was looking for, however that changed very quickly. A few weeks later, it started to change, when business started to degrade, I expressed a couple of requirements: a company car, more flexibility for home working, etc. At that point I felt the energy was going only one direction. My manager told me: "Let me get back on this".

Weeks went by, with no response on the answer "Let me get back on this", until one day. I received a meeting invite from my manager who wanted to talk with me. So as you can expect I joined that meeting with a happy face, which sadly disappeared after 10 seconds. My manager was sitting down and dropped these words:

I received an angry call from our customer, who doesn't understand why we have sent this large project bill. I looked at your worked hours, and they overshoot the budget. Why?

Instantly it was like I was interrogated at the police station; this was new for me. As naive I was, I started explaining all the change requests that were happening and new features being asked by the customer, etc. The project manager was aware of this, etc.

The manager just looked at me, didn't nod, no emotions at all. When I was done my managers close with these words: "We will have a call with the customer, and you will explain that". My manager closed the laptop and left the room without a single word. What I learned that day is that an extraordinary manager, will never, in any circumstances leave you behind.

I will not bore you with other things that happened, but as you can expect it was about getting easier to quit a job.

I understand

A few weeks later I found another job in consulting, something more people oriented, less development, more architecture. Without going in too much detail again, I really had a great time there, and the manager was great. I've spent working for this company for a few years, and had a lot of good and a few bad moments. What was important for me is that this time, once I was in deep shit, my manager rise up and covered my back until the end.

In the end, I looked for another job, as I was eager for more personal development, more strategic projects. This time it was really myself looking for something more challenging, and not leaving because of unhappiness. What I finally learned here, is when you leave a warm company, leave something beautiful behind. Do not close the doors, you might come back later

You hire the manager

From that moment I've got a better grip on how to play this game. While doing an interview, it's not only the manager who is interviewing, it's you interviewing and challenging the manager as well.

Job interviews started really to become more natural and bilateral. I was challenging the manager, sensing how far they will jump for you and the team, what is happening within the team to drive the strategy but still link to personal development, etc. Once doing this more regularly and following up on my intuition, it really helped me discovering the best managers and management styles that matches my personality.

Looking back after 10 years, I'm really happy that I learned the goods and the bad of a lot of different managers. I'm really happy, I struggled a lot in the beginning, and have seen bad management styles, this allowed me to recognise and appreciate the extraordinary managers I learned later on.

My short list of good managers

There is still a long way to go, and some of you might have a lot more stories than I just shared. Maybe you are just starting your career, and you'll need to discover this all by yourself. Only advice I can give you is: follow your intuition, and work for people that make you happy.

To conclude I want to give my shortlist of how I recognise an extraordinary manager:

• When applying for a job, the hiring manager, proposes to come and visit you.
• The hiring manager proposes to meet people of the team, and can explain clear direction of the team and how you will fit in and make impact.
• Your manager is interested in your personal situation and remembers what is going on and what important events in your life are going to take place (e.g. birthdays).
• You have regular F2F with your manager, and will never question your ambitions. The manager will help and think with you how to accomplish your goals, independent from the manager's personal goals.
• When you are in deep shit, and you made errors, your manager will rise up and cover your back. Finding a way to get the team out with little harm.
• Instead of taking the stage, your manager will make sure you are present and can shine for the work you are delivering.
• A manager that is extraordinary will show extreme empathy, and are typically a great parent.
• The manager is predictable. Some have good and bad days, but it is important that when approaching on a good or bad day, you are not surprised by the outcome.
• When you ask your manager something, he/she will come back on this as soon as possible.

This is just my short list of skills that I sense when applying for a job. Sensing is not being 100% sure, but if you can check the majority of them you know you have a great manager.

So what do you think an extraordinary manager makes?