Three Ways You Could Recognise and Do Good With Privilege

Privilege can be a tough topic to think about, let alone discuss in a balanced and non-defensive way. Even so, as well-thinking and essentially good people, we must run that risk. Our goodness also does not remove our privilege, it can help us work with it better though.

What is privilege?

Privilege is often an invisible and unearned advantage handed down through nature, our ancestry, and social systems. That doesn't mean you don't work hard or experience any hardships, but that without that privilege, you would have it tougher. Privilege is also not individually created or sought. It is often embedded in systems, norms, cultures and rewards that invisibly advantage some and disadvantage others. This is also why it is so hard to spot your own privilege and call it out, accept it and do something good with it.

Therefore, the aim is to do good and not get rid of it. Letting go a privilege is not always in your hands as individuals. How do you change an entire system, your skin colour, or your gender, or your heritage, or give up all your wealth? But if you could each do your part, a tsunami of change may not be far behind. What needs to be addressed is that denial costs everyone, exclusion hurts everyone, and inclusion benefits everyone. When you can't see and accept that you enjoy unearned and undeserved benefits, you lose the opportunity to do good.

You might also be the one who lacks some important privileges. If you had them, it could have made your life easier and more comfortable, and more profitable and safer.

And while the social activism of 2020 brought skin colour privilege to the spotlight, there are many more that we often don't think about and that also deserve our attention.

Everyone can have privilege. But aware people can do more with it for everyone.

Think of some ordinary privileges

Consider this simple example of an ordinary and everyday privilege many have. Those right-handed have the privilege of handedness. Think of how easy it is to use door knobs, scissors, can openers, zippers and school desks for kids. Those without it though are constantly reminded, literally every day, that they lack the privilege of handedness.

There is a reason the world is built for right-handed people. One, it is the more dominant trait by birth, but also most cultures around the world have believed, and still do, that there is something righteous and normal about being right-handed. Not just that, but being left-handed is somehow wrong and socially undesired - some cultures have even likened left handedness to evil and the devil himself - a social curse.

Differences are just that, they are different. It's our value judgements that make us accept or reject them, consider them a gift or a curse, and something to value or deride.

Not all privileges are ordinary

But not all differences, and the associated privileges or lack of them, can be shrugged off as ordinary. You must focus on the high stakes and significant differences that can change the course of people's lives and their future. Some differences associated with a lack of privilege can have far-reaching and damaging outcomes for those people.

Four significant privileges we can have are of skin colour, ability, gender identity, and sexual orientation. I am able to walk into a roomful of people, never have to think twice about access, or what gender I am, or who I am romantically attached to. I don't have to take deep breaths as I prepare to protect myself from awkward situations, rejection and judgement.

What a different experience it would be if I was otherwise and joined my first day at a job. Would I be able to place a photo of a same sex partner or declare that I was queer or transgender? What would that conversation look like? What would that welcome feel like?

And while I lack skin colour privilege in Western nations, any hurt caused by racial exclusion does not take away from my many advantages of being offered safety and education as a child, not being married off at an early age, being employed, financially independent, English speaking, straight and married.

One kind of privilege does not cancel the other kind. Their advantages and disadvantages can be unequal too. Privilege is not interchangeable or comparable. It just is. In a given context, some privileges work in our favour and others don't. What is most important is to recognise our share of privilege, accept it and do good with it.

Why is it so hard to see our own privilege?

There are a few key reasons it's hard to objectively see our own privilege. One, what is considered normal often turns invisible. What benefits us is part of life, we don't stand apart from it and consider it anything special. Almost all key privileges in our society that are tied to greater economic, physical, social, health, housing and employment access are also deeply rooted in what we consider 'normal' and therefore, unseen.

Accepting one's privilege is also a bit scary. It can invite troublesome feelings of guilt and shame as we somehow feel individually responsible for the misfortune of others. This is too simplistic and often unproductive. Acceptance is meant to be a maturing and positive process, not one that must unfairly hold us responsible for all the wrongs of the past.

Acknowledging that we have benefitted from privilege can also undermine our hard work, achievements and pain. A common misunderstanding is that having privilege translates into no struggles or pain. The argument being, if I've had hardships, I can't possibly have privilege at the same time. Intuitively this sounds true but is incorrect. We can have privilege and still have hardships, but those hardships don't necessarily emerge from having that privilege. The person who lacks that privilege though has a much harder life than us, all things equal.

My being able to walk into a room, being gender clear and heterosexual are not reasons for my hardships. Any of my life struggles never stop me from reaping the unearned benefits of all my other privileges. The person who lacks my privileges though has clear disadvantages, a tougher life and far greater hardships than me, perhaps.

This a bitter pill to swallow, but a necessary one if we are to do good with our privilege. Not having one kind of privilege does not cancel out the benefits of having the others.

Here are three suggestions on using your privilege for good

1. Create access to influence

In what ways do you have influence? Whether it is through your heritage, wealth, gender, skin colour, position, education or profession, find ways to share it with others. Who can enter a room or be at a table or get invited to a decision because you can open that door for them? Often, it is not what others don't have that hurts them the most, but what we don't offer that could have brought more equity to their lack of privilege. If there are silent ones in the room or those who are new, wait for them to speak up, encourage them and appreciate their inputs. That's you levelling the playing field to the extent that might be in your control. Is someone being interrupted or ignored? Back them, protect them and include them. Creating access, opening doors, making introductions, encouraging people are all ways you could be sharing your influence with others.

2. Challenge non-diversity

When you challenge non-diversity, you make the invisible visible for everyone. Don't remove yourself from a place of privilege. Instead, use your privilege for good and invite those who are missing. Ask uncomfortable questions and challenge the status quo. Interrupt bias, unjustified traditions and unacceptable practices that allow inequities to continue. You won't create fairness for everyone, but you will make a difference to that one person who otherwise might never have walked through that door. Don't step away from an all-male panel and reject it, don't quite a Board that has no people of colour, condition your participation on a balanced forum. That way, you educate people with compassion and set them up to do better next time. Avoid taking big decisions that don't involve diverse voices or represent your society and your customers. Ask for ideas, throw open a competition, nominate some to join the Board as advisors. Don't accept sameness, instead use your privilege to ask courageous questions.

3. Role model inclusion

Perhaps the easiest and most accessible of all is to role model inclusion. When you show curiosity in the face of differences, listen with the intent to understand, acknowledge differences even if you don't understand them, and find ways to make diversity meaningful, you are doing a whole lot of good. There are so many unintended benefits of being inclusive that your good might surprise you. Let your team know that you want to hear the pros and cons of an idea or a decision, especially, if it came from you. Allow inclusive conflict and moderated dissent so others can build the courage to bring their best gifts, highest intentions and most useful selves to work. When you are being inclusive you are able to address some of the harm and disadvantage of inequities, biases, stereotypes and unfairness that pushes people behind. You don't need to be a leader to role model inclusion. Start where you are, do what you can and with what you got.

Sonali D’silva?is a Certified Professional in Inclusive Leadership from Catalyst Inc. She is the Founder of Equality Consulting, a training and advisory service for raising diversity awareness, leading with inclusion, and creating psychological safety at work. Visit her website at?www.equalityconsulting.com.au?to know more about her work.

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