How to Rebound From Feelings of Failure

Welcome back to my LinkedIn newsletter where I share tips, ideas, and strategies to help you become more effective in business and life.

If we haven't been acquainted yet, I’m a professor of organizational and cross-cultural psychology, the author of?Global Dexterity?and?Reach, and an HBR contributor and consultant.?I also work closely with coaches, trainers, consultants and teachers to certify them in my?Global Dexterity Method.

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You've heard it before: many successful people failed before they were successful.? But when you look at yourself in the mirror, you don't see that person. Instead, you truly feel like a failure. And what's worse, you know someone who has taken a similar path as you and truly hit it out of the park.??

You might think you're alone, but you're not.?Many people are struggle with feelings of failure. With this in mind, here are a few quick tips to help you rebound by focusing on what really matters.

Tip 1:?Focus inward, not outward.??

When you're feeling down, it almost seems inevitable that you'll see something online or in your email inbox announcing someone else's great achievements that make your heart sink.???But instead of focusing on achievement, try to focus on purpose and meaning. If you focus there - on why the work you're doing matters, to you and to others - it's easier to see why it's worth getting up off the couch and pushing onward.?Your clients or audience or patients need you!? So, focus there instead of achievements and outcomes.?

Tip 2:?Think "want" instead of "should."??

It's possible that the reason you're mired in a sense of blah is that you're focused on what you think you should be doing (or what others (family, friends, classmates) think you should be doing), rather than what you?want?to be doing.??Try to find the courage to pivot to things that you genuinely, intrinsically enjoy. Chances are, you'll being happier, more fulfilled, and more productive. You'll also feel better about yourself.

Tip 3:?Surround yourself with a good support system.

Sometimes it's hard to remember why we pursued our ambitions in the first place.?And that's where close friends and colleagues can help.?It can be deeply insightful to have a conversation with someone who can help you rediscover what you've always cared about, but perhaps put on hold.?

In the end, it can be hard to dig out of a hole that you've dug for yourself.?But with these tips, you increase the odds of getting back on track and committing yourself again to what really matters to you.?