How real are your fears?
Last month, as I was commuting on train, I happened to meet an old school time friend. Though we were very happy to see each other after a long time, I noticed that he was low in energy and seemed to be upset about something. I encouraged him to speak out. Finally, he gained courage and shared, that his organisation, due to the COVID 19 situation, had made twenty people redundant on that day, and he was one of them. His greatest fear being, not get a job for the next six months due to the volatile economic condition. Being the lone earner of the family, he was agonised by the fact that he would struggle to pay out his mortgage. I couldn’t offer a solution to his problem, except being emphatic and connecting him to my professional network.
Just two days back I got a call from the same friend. This time it was the voice of a man, who seemed to have conquered the Mount Everest. With great happiness and joy, he shared the news, that he had secured a job within the same industry. I was very happy for him and his family and wished him all the best.
This one scenario made me reflect on my own situation, where there have been innumerable occasions, when I had feared about something going bad or wrong. We all go through different phases in our life where every phase brings with itself an uncertainty, which creates fear. It is human to feel this emotion, ‘fear’.
However, the question is, how much of this fear is real, and how much is in our imagination?
In my own life, as I have transitioned to different phases of life, I have to admit that I feared a lot. When I graduated high school, I feared, with intense competition, would I ever get admission to a university. After completing my masters, the next fear to cripple my mind was, would I get campus placement, the company, new bosses, new challenges and a constant fear of proving my capability. The next to follow was a fear of failing in an important project led by me, the fear of losing my promotion or the fear of being judged. I probably have to spend hours, if not days, if I have to count all of my fears from my childhood days.
Over the years, with conscious awareness I have realised, the things that I feared for and spent days in distress and anxiety, were not as bad as I had initially imagined. In fact, on most occasions, the situations had seen a positive end.
Therefore, is it really worth spending so much time thinking about a negative outcome, or imagining things going against the odds? Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher truly said, ‘We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.’ If only, we understood these wise words, we can save our precious time and enjoy every moment as it comes.
Happy reading!