How to react to your boss when you are an employee
Ande Aditya
?? Thailand Business Expert | Founder & CEO, Aditya Group | Entrepreneur | Business Consultant | Inspiring Growth & Creativity | Empowering Businesses | #AndeInspires ??
Respecting the boss is part of any job expectation, whether one agrees with him or her methods or not. If what he or she says seems unpleasant, it is advisable to take a deep breath before one answers to better control the response. If all else fails, one might put himself in the boss's position and think how he would want his employees to respond.
●?Remember the Role - Accept the fact that the boss is the boss for a reason. Even if one does not like something the boss says, one must remember his role before responding. Even if it might be unpleasant, he is the boss and thus would get to take the final call.
The boss not only controls one's pay package, the chances of promotion or termination and the likes but also has a great influence on the opinions of his peers and superiors.
If one is disrespectful to the boss, it would directly hurt that person eventually. So one needs to figure out how to manage his relationship with the boss in order to get what he wants.?When this dynamic is kept in mind while responding, one likely would not overstep the bounds.
●?The tone must be balanced - When one is angry or has an attitude, it is evident in his tone if is not careful enough to control. One must keep his voice quiet and level. He should not yell, whine or clench his teeth. One should not speak too fast or it might sound like he is telling the boss off. One should not speak too slowly also as it may seem like he is trying to imply he is not confident and does not understand something.
●?Listen First?- The boss’s perspective is based on the underlying goals and values of the company in most cases. One must listen closely to his statement, and consider his point of view in light of the company’s broader mission. Regardless of one’s personal feelings, one must show respect while the boss is speaking. Also, one should maintain consistent eye contact. Affirmative gestures like nodding in the appropriate places show that one is listening. Never fidget, sit cross-armed or roll eyes while the boss is speaking.
●?Professional Address?-While answering the boss, one should call as what one usually calls him. If one is on a first-name basis, calling him by his last name might come across as if he is trying to establish distance. If one is not on a first-name basis, calling him by his first name might seem that he is trying to undermine his role. One should be consistent with prior exchanges.
●?Good News First?-Even if one disagrees with the boss, beginning a conversation by discussing the positive points is always advisable. One can tell the boss what statements that he agrees with before countering the point of view. Even if one wants him to reconsider, he should say so respectfully and politely.
●?In Writing?- While answering the boss electronically via email, use a professional rather than a casual tone. Instead, a “Good Morning, “ “Good Afternoon,” or “Hello” greetings can be a good starter.?When sending an email, one should avoid ‘cc’ing anyone ranked above the boss, so it does not look like he is trying to go over his head to establish a point and get heard. When dealing with matters concerning an individual salary or performance review or any issues that carry a high emotional current it may be best to have those conversations in person.
In case a person is underperforming, he should be all the more careful while talking with his superior. It is normal to underperform at times. But in that case, one should not just sit back and wait for the performance review. He needs to have a conversation with the manager sooner rather than later. He should think wisely as to how to?position the news to him. He can think of means to stay honest and try to give an explanation.?
When one is having a bad time at work, maybe the big project is not coming together as planned or one is missing the sales targets by a wide margin — talking to the manager is the only way out, though it seems to be unpleasant. Nobody wants to annoy the boss by making him wonder what is happening. Such conversations might be tricky and the employee must be careful enough to preserve his professional standing. As the very first step, he should “come clean” about the underperformance before the boss gets a chance to discover it another way. Secondly,?he should try to focus on solutions and not excuses. One might follow the following steps for better preparation for such uncomfortable confrontations.
Reflect -The first step in owning up to the underperformance is determining the source of the problem. One needs to consider whether he is actually underperforming. Often proper efforts do not immediately translate into desired organisational outcomes. One?could be doing all the right things but, unfortunately, it might be taking a long time for it to lead to positive results. The employee should study this carefully so as to understand the real scenario. He needs to understand that this is a one-off situation or more of a trend. If the missed goals are an anomaly or due to extenuating circumstances then it is one thing, but if it is indicative of a pattern, it would then need some intervention. This bad stretch might mean that the employee is underperforming and there is a need for more development. It could also mean that he is not on the right job.
Prepare -?As a next step the employee needs to think about the underperformance from the boss’s perspective. If the boss has a propensity to blow up, he needs to prepare for that. He should think especially about how he would explain what happened. It could be, for instance, that he “took a risk” that did not come out as he had hoped. Or maybe he is dealing with an outside distraction — some family issues — which is the reason he is not in his best form. A reasonable boss is expected to understand that.
Own up - When the time comes to talk to the boss, one should be straightforward and direct. A sincere apology portraying the sorrow followed by some plan to set things right should be the flow of the conversation.?One should focus on correction, not blaming, shaming, or fault-finding of others. People tend to get defensive in such situations but one should try and avoid that. In difficult discussions like these, it is natural to finish off on an optimistic note but there are some conversations that would never have a positive outcome. Thus one should not press hard to make the problem look less.
Ask for advice - While offering ideas and suggestions on how to improve the situation, it is worthwhile to ask the manager for guidance and suggestions. Asking the boss for advice shows that he respects the boss’s intellect and thus trusts him. Moreover, asking for assistance might be flattering to the boss. Proposing one’s own suggestion and asking for the boss’s opinion on the same is the best way.
Think long term - If the underperformance is representative of a bigger problem, then that should be addressed immediately. This needs a separate and probably a longer conversation with the manager. It is recommended to put it in a way asking for some time with him to discuss the implications and the probable way out.?Possible interventions include more frequent check-ins or some sort of training to boost the required skills.
The underperformance might also be a sign that one needs to find a position at the company that might be better suited to his capabilities.?In this case, a possible move can be discussed with the boss. It is expected that if one establishes his good intentions, hopefully, the boss would provide support in identifying and transitioning to a more suitable role.
Pointers to be kept in mind
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●?The source of the problem should be found out through some introspection.
●?offer ideas on how to improve the situation and the manager’s guidance are to be sought.
●?Any overly optimistic impulses should be resisted. It is not worth trying to put a positive spin on the underperformance.
●?Preparation for the conversation is to be done thoroughly so as to have?a clear understanding of what is to be spoken about.?It should also be kept in mind how the boss might react.
●?The employee approaching the boss must talk in a straightforward manner. He should begin the conversation by coming straight to the point directly so as to ensure that no mixed messages are passed on.
●?Never ignore red flags. When one is struggling, it might mean that he needs more frequent check-ins with the supervisor, more development, or a job change.
The boss might be unreasonable. Yet it is not acceptable, or professional to vent one's anger on others, or to misdirect anger on those who do not deserve it. The only choice is to stay calm and not take it personally, as long as he stays within limits. Even if he vents anger by criticising the work unfairly, one still needs to stay calm and discuss the point of criticism as long as he did the work to the best of his abilities.
Lastly, everyone must take this as a lesson to himself.... in the future, when he himself would rise to the rank of a Manager, be sure to avoid the negative traits of other managers and be a real good boss!
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