How To Quit Well

What movie comes to mind when you think about leaving a job? For me, it's definitely that epic Jerry McGuire scene:

But the reality is that unless we are all Tom Cruise and have NFL players waiting for us to represent them, we probably can't be as dramatic on the way out.

And yet, I see so many people in their careers destroy or damage years of good work in their final weeks. This concept is what inspired me to post this tweet:

I think the problem is that companies don't talk about the hard stuff frequently enough and openly enough. If you're a CEO or leader, all of your current employees will eventually quit, or be fired. No one works in a job forever. It might be tomorrow or ten years from now, but some day it will happen. And by the way, you will quit at some point too (even if that's after an acquisition or some other event). People leave jobs. Say it again. That's super normal. And yet, we are so afraid to talk about it in business.

On the employer side, we should be much more open about talking about transitions of careers. This is why we love Reid Hoffman's book The Alliance so much at Gainsight. When a teammate tells me they're leaving, my reaction is (1) thank you for all you've done, (2) I'm so excited for your next thing, (3) how can I help you and (4) what can I learn? And sometimes, I get the chance to advise them before their decision. Indeed, I've intro-ed dozens of Gainsters who didn't see the right next step internally to jobs on the outside.

But yet most employers and employees never get real about "the end."

And this creates real damage. A common truism is that "first impressions matter." You know what? Last impressions count even more. According to the psychological concept of the peak-end rule, people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak (i.e., the most intense moments) and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience.

So all of those days that you spent grinding away on client issues or product work? They can be washed away by what you said out of emotion on your last day.

A critical career skill is learning how to leave. I am fortunate to have witnessed examples of transitioning with grace and class. It's never fun to lose friends and valued colleagues but it was made easier by the thought my teammates put into their transitions.

1. Leave at the right time

"There is never a good time to leave" is the conventional wisdom. But that's wrong. Don't quit before a huge company event. Don't leave your teammates hanging, if you can choose. Find a natural goal post and leave then. It could be after a product launch. The timing could align to the end of your fiscal year. You might depart after your conference. Pick a time that makes sense internally and externally.

2. Be proud of what you've done and leave in a positive mindset

Unless you were at the company very briefly, you probably had good times. You likely accomplished things. You may have even enjoyed it. But peak-end rule is a beast and you might not be feeling it. Sadly, that same psychology that could affect what people think of you might do the same for how you feel about them. And it's a vicious cycle. If you are sour on your way out, that's what people will remember.

It takes emotional intelligence and intestinal fortitude, but it might be worth it. 

3. If you're a leader, aspire to leave the company with a great team who steps up

Ironically, the sign of a great leader is one who leaves and the company doesn't miss a beat. The most successful transitions I've seen have been where execs move on and have a clearly defined succession plan for their team to step up. In those situations, everyone wins. The departing leader finds their next thing. Her team rises up to new opportunity. And the company evolves and grows.

4. Work hard to deliver a milestone on your way out

 I've seen some of our best Gainsters give us a gift on the way out - whether it was a killer meeting with a client or partner, a key release, a huge sale or a big financial milestone. Nothing helps people's memory of you than having a huge win at the end.

 5. Teach people, if you can

On that same note, one of our leaders spent his last day teaching the team core skills. To the end, this leader was focused on making sure that all of the knowledge he accumulated wouldn't be lost. People appreciate that.

6. Stay connected

 If you have any affinity to the company, there is zero downside to staying in touch. Write a grateful goodbye note on Slack or whatever messaging system you use. Shared your contact info. Send LinkedIns. Return to alumni events. It often pays off in spades.

7. If you're gone, go

All of the advice on picking the best timing aside, we all can get to points where a job is no longer for us. Maybe we don't love the work anymore. Maybe we don't feel the mission or strategy. There is nothing wrong with that. The company will likely go on without you. So if you are feeling too far gone, don't let yourself get held back by inertia (if you're fortunate enough to have other job prospects).

Not everyone has the opportunity to write their own exit plan. Some are forced to leave. Some don't have career opportunities or have economic circumstances that prevent it. But if you are lucky enough to know that you are going to leave, do it well. Make the ending unforgettable - in a good way.