How Quickly We Forget | #MyFridayStory No. 296

Experiencing intense heartbreak is a necessary prerequisite for loving someone fully. This is non-negotiable and can’t be replaced with mere advice. My father once told me that to truly appreciate lobster, one must first have tasted Boerewors. Ironically, as someone who is allergic to shellfish, I prefer Boerewors anyway — that’s King’s food to me!

It’s only when you try hard to be good that you grasp how bad you are. It’s only once you’ve got a handle on how rotten you are, that you can realise how much you need help to be good. It is hard to do, think and say the right thing all the time. When you realise the world is oblivious to how good or bad they are, you start to get scared. When you’re conscious of your shortcomings but willing to try to overcome them, you’re on the right track. It becomes a habit, a way of life. For life.

Usually, something bad happens that triggers a desire to become contemplative. We question our existence and purpose. To delve deeper than before and search for yourself where it’s messy and not nice. Facing that person for the first time should be enough motivation to change your ways forever. But it hardly ever does. Not completely. And not forever. I’ve found, the significance of the event that triggers your descent to face yourself is proportional to your commitment to the resultant change.

Because the thing is:

We forget so quickly.

The thing that keeps you committed and focused on the change is your memory of the event that triggered the change. We need a reason to remain in sync with our new cause to be good. The attraction to return to the status quo is high because it’s an easier life. It’s a more acceptable life in the world we live in. We have come to expect bad from people. Father Richard Rohr of The Centre for Action and Contemplation in a recent article titled, “Recognizing and Appreciating” said it as follows:

“To begin to see with new eyes, we must observe, and usually be humiliated by, the habitual way we encounter each and every moment. It is humiliating because we will see that we are well-practised in just a few predictable responses.

Few of our responses are original, fresh, or naturally respectful of what is right in front of us. The most common human responses to a new moment are mistrust, cynicism, fear, knee-jerk reactions, a spirit of dismissal, and overriding judgmentalism.

It is so dis-couraging when we have the courage to finally see that these are the common ways the ego tries to be in control of the data — instead of allowing the moment to get some control over us and teach us something new!”

Around 2 months ago, I was struck by an 18-wheeler truck in an intersection, on my way to work on my scooter. By the hand of God, my life was spared. The accident left me with only a broken left femur. That single event triggered a new direction and purpose for how and where I focus my attention. The message arrived loud and clear. I allowed the moment to teach me something new.

I’ve had to work hard at focusing on my purpose while fighting the urge to go back to the way things were. Having to lie flat on your back dampens your enthusiasm for new causes.

I started to forget.

I forgot that intense feeling of joy when I knew I have a new purpose. I admit, the progress is slower than I expected. But one-month post-surgery, I forget I’m ahead of schedule among other patients of a similar age. I forgot to trust God’s plan.

I have tasted the bitter pill of heartbreak. My heart has filled to overflowing with love for someone else. I’ve met that dark messy me and left the meeting in humility and gratitude. For the first time, I knew who I can be. I liked what I saw. I’ve tried to access that experience to fuel my purpose. My heart still breaks when I look at how broken our world is. But, it also fills with love and I thank God as it sings with joy. Even for the simplest things.

Things like Boerewors.

Have an awesome weekend and please remember to be generous! ??

As always, thanks for reading ??

* Please join any of the #MyFridayStory Tribes below:

· LinkedIn Groups

· LinkedIn Newsletter

· Medium.com

· WhatsApp Broadcast List — Leave a DM with your Mobile Number to be added.

NOTE: My phone was smashed in the accident, and I lost all my contacts. The #MyFridayStory Broadcast group was lost as well. If you were on that list, please resend your mobile number and/or email address so we can start up the group again.