How to Put Yourself First and STOP People Pleasing!

As human beings, we have an innate desire to please others. It's in our nature to want to be liked, accepted, and validated by those around us. However, when this desire becomes excessive, it can lead to people-pleasing behaviour, where we constantly put others' needs and desires before our own.

People-pleasing can be detrimental to our mental and emotional well-being, leading to burnout, low self-esteem, and a lack of personal fulfilment. If you're tired of putting everyone else first and neglecting your own needs, it's time to learn how to put yourself first and stop people-pleasing. Here are some tips to help you on your journey:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the most important aspects of putting yourself first is setting clear boundaries. Learn to say "no" when something doesn't align with your values, priorities, or goals. Don't feel guilty about prioritising your well-being. It's okay to say "no" and set limits on your time and energy. Remember, your time and energy are valuable, and it's crucial to protect them.

2. Prioritise Self-Care

Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary. Make sure to prioritise self-care in your daily routine. Whether it's taking time to exercise, practice mindfulness, or engage in hobbies you enjoy, make sure to allocate time for yourself. Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health is essential for your overall well-being.

3. Identify Your Needs and Desires

Take the time to reflect on your own needs and desires.

• What brings you joy?
• What makes you feel fulfilled?
• What are your priorities in life?

Understanding your needs and desires will help you make informed decisions that align with your values and prevent you from constantly seeking external validation.

4. Practice Assertiveness

Learning to be assertive is a crucial skill in putting yourself first. It involves expressing your needs, opinions, and boundaries in a clear and respectful manner. Avoid being passive or aggressive in your communication, and practice assertiveness to advocate for yourself and set healthy boundaries.

5. Let Go of Approval Seeking

People-pleasing often stems from a strong need for approval from others. However, seeking approval from others is an endless cycle that can never truly satisfy you. Learn to let go of the need for constant validation from others and focus on valuing yourself and your opinions.

6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Surrounding yourself with people who support and uplift you is essential in putting yourself first. Surround yourself with individuals who respect your boundaries, encourage self-care, and support your personal goals. Let go of toxic relationships that drain your energy and make you feel guilty for prioritising yourself.

7. Practice Self-Reflection

Take the time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

• What triggers your people-pleasing tendencies?
• What beliefs or past experiences may be contributing to this behaviour?

Practicing self-reflection can help you identify and address any underlying issues that may be driving your people-pleasing behaviour.

Putting yourself first and stopping people-pleasing requires self-awareness, assertiveness, and self-care. It's important to set clear boundaries, prioritise self-care, identify your own needs and desires, practice assertiveness, let go of approval-seeking, surround yourself with supportive people, and engage in self-reflection.

Remember, it's not selfish to prioritise yourself and your well-being. Taking care of yourself is essential for living a fulfilling and authentic life. So, start putting yourself first and watch how your life transforms for the better!

Book I just finished reading

The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch

In this book, the author introduces the concept of the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, which states that 80% of outcomes are generated by 20% of inputs.

Koch explains how this principle applies to various aspects of life, including business, time management, and personal development. He discusses how identifying and leveraging the most effective 20% can lead to significant results and productivity gains.

The book provides practical strategies for applying the 80/20 principle in different areas, offering insights on how to achieve more with less effort and maximize efficiency.

Courses I have launched

Udemy

Career Skills Coach

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