HOW TO PROVIDE VALUE TO OTHERS

I wanted to write about providing value to others, and how to properly approach them, especially when they are more successful than you, and could be an asset for your own growth.

I had someone call me a while back and they asked, “Hey, how's it going? How are you doing?, hope all is well. I wanted to tell you about what's going on with me.”

And they proceeded to tell me all about what was going on in their life.

I hadn't talked to this person in eight or nine years.

And they made the whole message about themselves. This person saw that I was doing well, and felt there was some sort of entitlement to my time and I was obligated to now get in communication with them.

I thought to myself, "Now I have to drop everything and call you back? Because I knew you 10 years ago?"

It's the wrong way to go about it.

Instead of an authentic approach, “Hey man, I see that you're doing amazing, I see that things are going well, I want to touch base with you, I have some ideas I think you'll love...”

People love to reach out to you and then tell you about them, and try to get something from you.

Instead, ask yourself this question: How can I give or add value to the person I'm trying to approach?

I'll give you a personal example:

I have some close friends–who 7 to 8 years ago weren't as close of friends–and were a lot more successful than I was.

These were people that I aspired to be like, and wanted to be on their level, but I didn't reach out to them as much in the beginning because I felt as if I needed to prove myself first.

That was a natural thing in me, I didn't want to call these people and just ask for something. Instead, I wanted to get myself in a position where I was able to add value to some degree.

When I started Blackstone in 2012, I grinded every day.

I was a nobody, a guy with a small business with three or four employees, got up every morning and went to work.

I didn't have much to show for it through 2012, 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17. And then I got to a point where I started to gain a lot of momentum.

At that point I started to get more attention from the people I aspired to be like , because they saw that I was not going away, I was not a one-hit-wonder and I was going to make something out of myself and become somebody in my industry.

It was only then that I started to reach out to these people. I knew I could also add value to their lives while getting value from them.

And the funny thing is, I remember getting a message from a really good friend of mine now, and he said, “Hey man, I just want you to know that I see you, I see what you're doing.” and that was very validating because it illustrated that people were paying attention.

Even if you think they're not, they are paying attention to what you're doing.

I felt as if I was waiting to have my moment, so when things started to change for me, I started becoming more confident in bringing value to people.

It was at this point things started to change for me.

What I realized was that I needed to provide value to my friends to have a stronger inner circle.

Everyone that I have in my circle today, I hope and feel as if I’ve added value to their lives in some way and have made their lives better to some degree–and if I don't make their lives better to some degree, then I'm probably not really in their circle.

If you want to have relationships with uber-successful people, then you have to first ask yourself: do I, or can I add value to this other person's life?

If the answer is no, then you have to think how to get yourself into a position where you can become valuable.

And don't forget, it flows the other way too: The successful people you know and have relationships with can also help you to increase your own success.

For example, I flew back from New York right after New Year's and had a very successful friend on his way back to Florida as well, so I invited him to join me on the plane.

We had a conversation that helped move the trajectory of my goals in terms of creating a billion dollars worth of wealth--just one conversation moved the needle tremendously.

He had provided me with value that was immense.

Even subtle changes can alter the trajectory of somebody's life.?

Just like a golf ball–when you hit a golf ball one millimeter off, eventually after 100, 200 yards it starts to veer off in one direction.

So the small trajectory changes that can be a millimeter in size, make a huge difference.