How To Provide Constructive Feedback To Your Team Members

Learning how to provide constructive feedback is one of the most valuable skills you’ll ever learn.

In life, working with other people is inevitable. To achieve something great, you need a team that can help you get there. That’s why having teamwork is essential to making progress in any project. But in order to make progress, it is sometimes necessary to voice your opinions and thoughts.

Used properly, constructive feedback allows you to offer your perspectives without being offensive to others. If you disagree with the ideas of your teammates, you can tell them your honest thoughts, without being confrontational. It is a technique you can use to lift others up and help them become better.

Here’s how you can effectively provide constructive feedback to your team members.

Constructive Feedback vs. Criticism – Why People Mix It Up

Constructive feedback is not the same as criticism. Humans are naturally ego-driven creatures, and when we see someone doing better than us, we become jealous. Criticism is what people say when they don’t want you to succeed. They will insult you or say negative things to try to bring you down.

You see this all the time on the internet. These ‘haters’ are very vocal about their opinions and will hold nothing back. For people that are finding success in life, the intent of haters is to make you think worse of yourself so that you can stoop down to their level. These are people you should ignore – for their opinions have no merit.

Constructive feedback, however, is similar to criticism but with good intentions. Constructive feedback is when you offer your opinion, and state what you think would be a better alternative. For example, let’s imagine a scenario where you are working in an office. You think the report you typed up was good, but your manager thinks it could be improved. Your manager points out some sections that you could change, and how you could change them so it sounds better overall. That is constructive feedback.

The Good, The Bad, And The Good

Done properly, constructive feedback helps others see their mistakes and gives them an opportunity to improve. One of the most effective ways to offer constructive feedback is with something called the ‘Feedback Sandwich’. 

The way it works is that if you have something ‘bad’ to say, such as what they could do better, you sandwich that ‘bad’ opinion with two ‘good’ opinions. For example, let’s say you think a team member would be more efficient if he took his hat off. You would offer constructive feedback by saying:

Good: “Hey <name>, you work very fast!”

Bad: “But I think you could be faster if you took your hat off, as it distracts you from the project”

Good: “Overall, I think you make a great contribution to this team.”

By sandwiching constructive feedback, you are softening the blow. Humans remember the last thing that was said to them. By ending your feedback with praise, the person will feel less offended by what you have said.

Resolve Conflict By Putting Yourself In Their Shoes

However, in certain situations, your team members may have very strong opinions about something. As a result, they are adamant about their position and refuse to see your point of view.

You: “I think red would look better.”

Them: “I disagree. We should go with blue.”

In this scenario, neither person is right or wrong. As a result, it is much more difficult to offer constructive feedback, because neither side sees the other person’s point of view.

The best way to resolve this type of conflict is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Instead of believing in your opinion is the correct one, flip the script and assume the other person’s opinion is better. What reasons can you think of that would make them think that way? Why do you think they chose their opinion over yours?

How Roleplaying Can Help You See Different Perspectives And Resolve Conflict

Roleplaying is a very powerful way to offer constructive feedback. For example, in the industry of sales, roleplaying becomes a powerful tool when it comes to prospect and salesperson interactions.

Each person takes turns playing the role of the salesperson, and the prospect. In this instance, you are able to learn from your partner. You can see a live example of how they speak, the words they use, and what techniques they use to try to influence you. This allows you to get a feel for what it’s like to be one role or the other, which is invaluable in understanding what each side is feeling and thinking.

Roleplaying also allows you to see the flaws you yourself cannot. Because there are two people involved you can see the flaws your partner cannot – and vice versa. In our minds, we have created a very strong image of who we think we are. When a new bit of information threatens this image, we become defensive and refuse to acknowledge that piece of information.

This is why world-class athletes hire coaches to help train them. The coach helps the player to see the flaws they cannot. If the player acknowledges what the coach is saying, they can improve themselves by correcting their own mistakes. However, if the player remains stubborn and refuses to acknowledge their own mistakes, they will stay the same.

Why A Bitter Hard Truth Is Infinitely Better Than A Sweet Sounding Lie

Let’s imagine that you were learning a new skill – for example closing. What do you think would be more valuable: Someone who lied and said you were the best closer on the planet or someone who pointed out your mistakes and what you could improve on?

In order to become the best version of yourself, you need to constantly examine yourself. However, we cannot examine ourselves, because there are certain flaws that we will unconsciously ignore given human nature. The only way to get an accurate examination of our own selves is to ask another person.

This becomes a problem when the person you are asking is someone that cares about you. Family members and close friends are people that care about your feelings. As a result, if you ask them for their opinion on what they think of your closing ability, they may lie to you to make you feel better. But the truth is, this does more harm than good.

By being told a lie, you go around in life believing you are someone that you are not. You are living a false life – believing that you are the best when in reality you could be terrible. And when it comes time to test your skills, you’ll fail and fail badly – because of the lies you have told yourself.

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