HOW TO PROVE REJECTION WRONG!

HOW TO PROVE REJECTION WRONG!

No one likes to be rejected. We all want to be loved, accepted, praised, or recommended. But, life is like a pendulum, which does not swing in our direction every time.

When we are rejected, we get hurt. We think rejection is a reflection of our incompetence. We totalize rejection in one area, as an overall reflection of the fact that we are a "total good for nothing". I am sorry if you feel this way. Because I know this feeling too when I am rejected.

I still feel bad that we have lost several of our team members in the past three months. I feel bad, because I hate to say no to people. I am learning that growth may require saying no sometimes. Rejection is normal.

I have had more rejections this year, than the last 29 years of my life.

I have been rejected by friends, who thought it was wrong to ask for a divorce.

I have been rejected by religious people, who stigmatize me for "allowing the devil take over my soul" when I called their bluff and said I wanted out of my marriage.

I have been rejected by mentors, who felt it was disappointing that I chose myself over a home I have built for 10 years. How sad!

Just when I was trying to piece together the pieces of my life, I was rejected by several of my clients/followers, who felt it was wrong that I went public with my story. Several of my clients and followers revolted and no longer buy from my brand. Some continue to revolt, by disengaging from my activities on social media.

It did not stop there.

When I submitted a paper to a professor, during the heat of the attacks from my abuser last fall, the paper was rejected by this professor. I knew I could do better, but I was going through a lot, and it did not make sense to this professor.

I also submitted another paper for a conference, which was rejected, and this still hurts.

Last fall, I took the LSAT, and my score was not good enough. It was really bad!

Just before the winter of 2021, I applied to the AM/PHD at Crown, but the application was rejected. I did not make it into the joint program that I wanted.

You see, I can keep talking about my many rejections.

But let me tell you the good news. Let me tell you the ray of hope in these dark clouds.

Let me tell you just how I proved rejection wrong.

1. I proved rejection wrong, by turning inward, and choosing life over death, and ending a toxic cycle of a decade- because it did not matter how long, what mattered was how well for me.
2. I proved rejection wrong, by turning my gaze away from those friends who judged me, and simply doing the work to heal myself. The rejection from those friends opened doors to new friendships, and those friends, are true empaths like me- the ones I deserve!
3. I proved rejection wrong, by finding new mentors, who understand what it means to have endured narcissistic abuse for years, and who know God and science so well!
4. I proved rejection wrong when I used sections from the paper that was rejected, in developing a strong statement of purpose, for an application this fall.
5. I proved rejection wrong, when I used every strength left in me, to submit a paper to a conference October 31st of last year, and which was accepted for presentation this fall at New Orleans, United States.
6. I proved rejection wrong, when I examined how much of a blessing it is that my AM/PDH application last fall was rejected. This rejection opened me up to many other opportunities. The opportunity to better understand and articulate my research agenda for the AM/PHD this fall. The opportunity to write four books, which I would NEVER be able to work on this period if I was enrolled in school this year. The opportunity to experience working for and with survivors in spaces that cut across the social and legal systems in the United States and Africa.
7. I proved rejection wrong, by rethinking my law school journey, better understand the LSAT, so that I can include this victory in my fully funded book this fall.
8. I proved rejection wrong, by restructuring my brand message and target audience. Losing several buyers, helped me to rethink my personal brand's operations, and move my brand from being another job, to a partnership based business with other coaches who currently collaborate with me to serve individuals and brands ideyforyou .
9. I proved rejection wrong, when I abandoned some social media accounts, and focus on the platforms where I can be unapologetically me, and people continue to engage with my message daily!
10. I am proving rejection wrong, by seeing obstacles as allies. I am proving rejection wrong, by using my second chances as my come-back.

Again, I want you to prove rejection wrong.

Not from a place of pain, but think through those many rejections, and see the little miracles in them.

See them as opportunities for growth.

See them as the chances you need to prove to those who are not sure of the capacities that you have, that you are truly deserving of every trophy!

Brands, corporations, organizations, funders, institutions, or even clients have their targets, expectations, biases, or projections.

If you do not meet those expectations today, it is okay.

Now breathe!

Go back to the training room, and get stronger.

Burn the midnight candle.

Rewrite the proposal.

Redraw your sword.

Train more.

Burn more fats!

And when you do, you might get what you lost if the universe permits or you might even get something else.

But, you will get something you deserve, and that truly deserves you.

Even true love.

I dey for you.

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ideyforyou is an African-led professional training and life coaching program for survivors of domestic violence.

Click linktree.com/idey.foryou to learn more.

Your friend,

Bisola-Mariam(BM).