How to Properly Vet a Potential Match (When You're Flying Solo!)
For some, the current dating landscape can feel like navigating a maze—one moment, you're hopeful, and the next, you're questioning your judgment. But if you're venturing into the dating pool solo without the help of a professional matchmaker (like myself!), fear not! You can still take control of the process and make sure you're meeting someone who could be a great fit for a lasting relationship. Here's how to take the guesswork out of vetting a potential match—all while keeping things fun and hopeful.
Before swiping or chatting, take some time to think about what truly matters to you in a relationship. These should be values, lifestyle choices, or future goals that you won't compromise on. Maybe it's wanting children, a shared faith, or an adventurous lifestyle. Whatever it is, getting clear on your non-negotiables helps you recognize potential red flags faster and stay focused on what you truly want.
Pro Tip: Keep your list short and meaningful. Too many non-negotiables can leave you unnecessarily picky, while too few might lead you to settle.
People are often at their best in the early stages of dating. But it's not just what they say or do on date one that counts—it's what happens on dates two, three, and beyond. Pay attention to whether their actions align with their words over time. If they say they value family, do they spend time with theirs? If they claim to prioritize health, do their lifestyle choices reflect that?
Consistency is key to spotting someone who's reliable and committed versus someone who's all talk.
Life happens! Whether it's a late arrival, a stressful workday, or even a minor disagreement, how your potential match handles challenges can be very telling. Are they calm and communicative? Or do they shut down and withdraw? How someone deals with stressors can give you a glimpse into how they might handle the ups and downs of a long-term relationship.
Fun Fact: According to a 2020 study, couples who effectively manage conflict are ten times more likely to have a lasting, fulfilling relationship. So, a little bump in the road could be a good test!
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If you want insight into someone's character, pay attention to how they treat the people around them—waitstaff, family, even strangers. Are they kind, considerate, and respectful? Or do they show signs of arrogance or impatience? Someone thoughtful and empathetic to others will likely be the same with you over time.
Don't be afraid to dig deep, even in the early stages. You don't have to turn your first date into a job interview, but getting a feel for their long-term goals, values, and priorities early on can help avoid mismatches later. A simple "What's your vision for the next five years?" or "What's your take on work-life balance?" can reveal a lot about compatibility without feeling too heavy.
Your instincts are powerful. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't brush off red flags or try to rationalize behavior that makes you uncomfortable. Trust that inner voice telling you whether someone is the real deal or not.
A Final Word: Stay Hopeful!
While dating can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, remember that each experience brings you closer to finding someone who truly aligns with your values, goals, and lifestyle. It's not about rushing or forcing a connection—it's about finding a match that resonates with who you are and who you're becoming.
And if you ever feel like you need a little extra help, that's where professional matchmaking comes in. We're here to take the guesswork out of dating and help you focus on what matters: building a connection that can go the distance. ??
Happy dating! ??