How to Process Your Emotions at Work

We have all experienced emotional moments at work, but we have tools to keep these emotions from ruining our day. In this post, we look at common negative emotions at work, their causes, how to deal with them and how businesses can create a more mental health-friendly work environment.

By Lora Korpar

Our personal lives don’t end the second we clock in for work. And sometimes, our jobs can add to our negative emotions.?

“We move so fast in work that we don't even take the time to check in with ourselves and see how we're feeling about something,” said clinical psychologist Candice Schaefer , Ph.D.

So how do we find effective ways to manage our emotions at work? I spoke with Schaefer and business psychologist Soyini A. Richards , Ph.D., to break down common emotional issues at work, tools to handle them and what businesses can do to change their mental health culture.

Common Negative Emotions and Stressors at Work

Many negative emotions can spring from our work environment, especially if there is a major change like layoffs or budget cuts.?

Schaefer says many negative emotions are prevalent in the workplace, but some primary ones she sees in her work include frustration, burnout and emotional exhaustion, anxiety, despair and cynicism.

With stressors like personal life issues, deadlines, workload, lack of resources, imposter syndrome and difficult interactions with co-workers, it is hard not to react with these emotions.

Richards said that many of these common issues can be traced back to ineffective communication – both with co-workers and managers – adding that this is something we have to work on daily to fix. But how do we go about fixing these problems?

Tools to Process Our Emotions

Though we might experience negative emotions, we do not have to sit in them. Tools are available to stop these emotions from being in the way of your work and ruining your day.

For anxiety, Mind Tools recommends turning your worries into plans to improve the existing situation. For example, if you are worried about being laid off, you can brainstorm ways to show you are valuable to your company. Or brainstorm what your next steps will be if you do get laid off.

Therapy techniques like breathing exercises can also be beneficial, Mind Tools added. Next time you are anxious, try clearing your mind, breathing in for five seconds, then breathing out for five seconds.?

Another helpful technique is grounding, Therapist Aid says. An example of a grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Instead of letting your anxious thoughts stir panic, pick out five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This will keep you in the moment instead of letting your thoughts run wild.

When tackling the frustration and annoyance that can come from bad workplace communication, Richards suggests learning more about your co-workers. Specifically, look at factors like their culture, generation, introversion/extroversion and other traits. These can affect how your co-workers communicate with you.

“I regularly remind people that they should be an active learner and study and learn about personality types, learn about different cultures, learn how to deal with various society changes,” Richards said. “So basically get informed on how to be a better communicator, how to understand people and become almost like a behaviorist, where you understand various behaviors.”

In addition to learning about your co-workers, Richards suggests you look inward (she even wrote a book on the topic).?

“Some people feel like they're in a job or in a position that they shouldn't be in, they're uncomfortable with or they regret,” Richards said. “And I try to help them find peace where they are and believe that they're there for a reason and to calmly navigate through it.”

Self-care is also vital to our mental health . This can take many forms, like using your vacation days, taking a moment for yourself during your lunch break or even finding a therapist, according to Very Well Mind.

“Especially during COVID, I think we've learned that taking breaks is a really important part of just taking care of yourself,” Schaefer said. “We do best to regulate emotions when the rest of our needs are being met. So I'm making sure that I'm eating properly, I've gotten enough sleep and things that are in my personal life that need to be taken care of are [taken care of]. So when stress comes at work, you're able to have the tools and the mindset to manage that.”

Schaefer also called mental health days “absolutely necessary.” This means taking a day off when you’re feeling mentally drained the same way you would if you were feeling physically ill.

“I've told employees to consider them the same as sick days and to not take PTO days,” Schaefer said. “Use your sick days, because this is about bringing you back to your baseline. During vacation or PTO days you might think about pushing yourself beyond that into real levels of happiness.”

According to Wellmark Blue Cross Blue Shield, in addition to combating employee burnout, mental health days make employees more productive upon their return and create a more open, supportive workplace that facilitates mental health discussions.

“If [employees] arrive at work and realize that they're having some struggles coping, by all means, it's appropriate for that leadership to recognize that this person needs a moment because self-care is a priority,” Richards said. “The organizations who prioritize their employees’ self-care are actually investing in their overall success.”

How Much Should We Share Our Emotions?

In addition to workplace woes, personal life issues can affect your job. Richards suggests examining your work culture and practicing “appropriate emotional intelligence” to determine whether to share your problems at work.

Schaefer says how much you share at work depends on your comfort level, but “there is a power in vulnerability.” For example, when she was going through a big personal life event, she chose to share it with her co-workers so they wouldn’t assume she was being lazy if her work started to suffer.

“Being vulnerable with your co-workers about what's going on in your personal life can often build not just empathy, but also connection,” Schaefer said. “Then you're connecting on something outside of work that maybe they have dealt with or encountered as well.”

Changing the Culture Around Mental Health

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that depression is estimated to cause 200 million lost workdays annually, costing employers $17 to $44 billion. So many experts believe it is in everyone’s best interest to speak more openly about mental health at work.

Though we can use the tools listed above to help manage our emotions in the workplace, experts agree employers can create a more open dialogue about employee mental wellbeing.

Harvard Business Review (HBR) calls a company’s attitude toward its employees’ feelings an “emotional culture,” adding that it is a “vital part of what makes people — and organizations — tick.” HBR says businesses can create cultures based on feelings like joy and companionate love to make employees feel their emotions are valued.

Companies can start being more conscious of mental health by supporting employees when they say they are struggling. But Richards and Schaefer say a negative stigma around expressing mental health concerns remains.?

“I think particularly with American culture, there's a certain pride in being able to handle your own emotions, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, suck it up and work through it,” Schaefer said.

“Unfortunately, there's a historic sense of weakness surrounding those feelings,” Richards added. “But I do believe it's getting better.”

Richards said many companies provide employee assistance programs, but these programs require a waiting period. Because of this, she suggests companies provide as many immediate mental health resources as possible. These include brochures and pamphlets, and resource lists on their websites and apps.

Schaefer also suggested companies publish policies on taking mental health days off of work and initiate peer support programs to train employees on listening and providing empathy.

“By having your leaders show emotional vulnerability, you're more likely to see the environment as psychologically safe and engage in that same practice,” Schaefer said.?

Top takeaways

How to deal with emotions at work

• Common negative emotions that occur in the workplace include frustration, nervousness, anger and burnout.
• Therapy tools like breathing exercises and grounding techniques can help calm our work anxieties.
• Many workplace issues stem from a lack of communication, and you can fix that by learning more about your co-workers and managers.
• Self-care is important, even if that means taking some time off of work.
• Businesses can help lessen the stigma around mental health by supporting mental health days, providing resources for managing emotions and creating a positive emotional culture.