How to prevent social burnout

It's holiday season, which means tons of celebrations, gatherings, and parties with family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers.

Before we move on, let's do a quick activity.

?? or ?? - what's your answer in the following potential scenarios for the upcoming Christmas/New Year season?

1. Meeting family

2. Meeting friends

3. Meeting acquaintances / strangers

4. Making new friends

5. The multitude of celebrations, gatherings, parties

If you answered ?? for all, that's perfect. You may stop reading this article now.

However, if you responded with a ??, or even a partial ?? for any of the scenarios, JOIN THE CLUB, and read on!

I am an extrovert (or more specifically, an ambivert that leans more towards extraversion) and like to see myself as having a relatively sociable and adaptable personality. I enjoy conversations, meeting new people, making new friends / acquaintances, deepening existing connections with people I already know... all that basically energises me.

Most of the time.

However, the back-to-back celebrations that tend to take place during this season means that I'll be squeezing A LOT of interactions and plans in a short span of time. ??

Social burnout is a real phenomenon.

When we think of burnout, we usually think of physical burnout, at work - an obligation. However, social burnout also exists and can come hand-in-hand or even separately from physical burnout.

Each person requires a different amount of time alone, time to chill, time to zone out, time to do nothing. The line between excitement over the hustle and bustle of activities, versus trudging through the motions till the festivities end...is very thin.

What happens is you either ditch the plan at the last minute, which is inconsiderate to some extent and would definitely annoy your family/friends; or you start mentally tapping out of conversations at the event. The latter just means that you're physically present, spending the hours there till it ends, but not fully able to live in the moment and appreciate what's going on around you.

You will most likely end up even more socially burnt out after the event ends, than before you attended it. This then only gets worse with the more social gatherings that you attend without getting the proper b

You might have complained about it to loved ones before and received the feedback that you are in 100% control of these situations that you have put yourself into. You could just not attend and not participate.

But is that what you really want to do?

Deep-down, you want to go. You want to enjoy the company, the festivities, the food and drinks... but you are just so tired.

So what can we do to ease our social burnout during ??festive seasons???

I've listed down a couple of things which have helped me over the years. As someone who tends to get carried away in making social plans, over-committing and double-booking (that's the worst), it's also a reminder for me to not let myself get to a stage of social burn out by remembering to practice the following tips.

Note, if you can't change it this year, at least you can change your experience next year!

1. Don't over commit.

It's a common experience to agree to plans weeks in advance and dread attending it when the day arrives. This gets worse during the holiday season when you start making back-to-back plans.

Can you relate?

So, an easy fix, don't over commit to activities that are well within your control. You know your down-time better than I do. For me, I need at least a half a day break in between each activity, and 1-2 hours to wind down before I sleep at night.

You will likely still be able to see all the people that you want to see, within good time measure, if you plan in advance, block out time early and thus, not over-commit.

2. Prioritise who you want to meet

I tend to get caught up with wanting to meet EVERYONE. I love my friends. They don't have to be in my closest circle, but I'll still want to see them at some point in time.

When luck's on my side, I schedule a meet-up with friends who I have not seen for awhile (and do not need to see that often) when I have lots of social energy. Catching up is tiring to some extent, though fulfilling at the end of it.

So during the holiday season, I would recommend to only make plans with people who you actually care about and feel comfortable around because the reward/effort ratio will be the highest.

When you're packing multiple events and celebrations into a short period of time, this reward/effort ratio and the impact that it has on your social burn out becomes more significant.

3. Do what it takes to have enough sleep

We all know that sleep can do wonders for the mind. A person who gets sufficient sleep will be able to get through back to back daily celebrations more easily than someone who is just surviving on some low amount of sleep.

This might mean needing to leave a party early, watching how much you drink, setting aside time to wind down... whatever it is that would ensure you get enough rest.

It is easier said than done of course because it could also be very rewarding to stay on till the night ends and have a lot of fun (although your mind might regret it the next day).

Ultimately, it is up to you to weigh the costs and benefits. Personally, if I'm into my last 1-2 social gatherings for the season, or if I know I'll have a nice break to breathe coming up, I would personally just stay on and wake up the next day tired.

It all comes down to good planning am I right? Back to point 1!

To wrap this all up, in today's society, we're moving in many different directions. To say that we're pulled would mean that we are not actively participating nor desiring what we are partaking in, which would be false to a large extent. We enjoy these festivities and interactions and we actually end up pushing ourselves to partake too.

So what we actually need to do is protect our mental wellbeing and social wellbeing by preventing social burnout. This doesn't only apply to festive periods - it applies all year round.