How to be Present as a Systemic Coach?

When some people walk into a room, even when no one knows them, the conversation stops. Imagine Dalai Lama. Their presence demands attention and receives it. Such people own the space they are in.

We are not talking about people who inspire fear because of their status or the harm they can cause us if offended, respect for them arising out of our fear. People with presence inspire love and respect. They radiate their persona. Even if they are in disguise, their presence will be felt. It’s said that when the noble Buddha walked with his bowl seeking alms, his hand was always held higher than those of the princely givers. They bowed their heads as they gave.?

@Coacharya we often say that presence is absence. It’s the absence of ego. It’s the absence of one’s mind trying hard to impress others. It’s not about self-confidence alone as many assume. True self-confidence needs no announcement. It’s always accompanied by humility and vulnerability, as well as compassion and grace.?

The simplest way to create presence is through silence, the silence of the mind. This leads to focused attention on all in front of us, taking away one’s focus on oneself. This is the opposite of mindfulness. It is the no-mind state of Zen, which Coacharya calls mindlessness, the samadhi state of disengaged witnessing in Yoga.

When one is present, one is curious, empathetic, generative and transformational in one’s interaction with others. The Self disappears, letting the other take over. One is in complete control of one’s sensations, emotions and thoughts, and is able to focus on the sensations, emotions and thoughts of others. A person with presence is comfortable with uncertainty, not knowing, and being silent to receive instead of giving unsolicited and without need.

This is why presence is a present, a gift, one can bestow on others. Yes, it’s about the present moment, but it is also integrated with the relevant past and the emerging future. True presence transcends time and space.?

Systemic Presence?

The quality of presence does not change from individual interventions to team coaching. However, a few tips may help.?

·??????Given the complexity of multiple sensory inputs, the coach may benefit from a co-coach to support in observing peripheral information inputs.?

·??????A coach in presence is reflective. The coach can help the team reflect in silence from time to time in addition to discussing.

·??????A present coach is often silent allowing the team to own the process in its own presence.?

In systemic teamwork, there would be occasions when there is conflict, with leaders challenging one another, seemingly violently. These conflicts are necessary for team dynamics to clear the air and create awareness. The calmness of the coach in diffusing such situations, quite often through non-verbal communication, marks the presence of the coach.

All these require confidence to journey not knowing, which is what coaching is. When you know, you’re out of the game

Trust, Safety and Awareness in coaching, whether individually or in teams, are interlinked to Presence.?

Reflection

·??????Reflect on moments when you observed true presence in someone.

·??????Reflect on when you have been present. How did that feel? How can you reproduce it??

Please do write in, resonant or dissonant. Let’s have a conversation.?Please share with others who may benefit.?

Ram is a co-founder and mentor at Coacharya?https://coacharya.com . Ram's focus is the integration of Eastern wisdom with modern science, spiritually, systemically and sustainably. Visit Coacharya.