How Prayer Strengthened My Faith

Prayer is something I have included in my daily life since I was a child. Going to the temple on a Sunday was always a regular thing. My parents never made it compulsory to visit the temple weekly, and I used to do it my own time. Praying for hope, strength, for everyone including me. I always counted my blessings in my struggles, my despair, my pain, aswell as my achievements. God has given me so many experiences that I cannot express how it’s made me feel.

I came to the conclusion that we don’t have to visit a place of worship to really be in god’s presence. In all fairness going to the local temple meant bumping into people you knew, eating together, and helping out. On a social aspect that is fine, that togetherness, and doing acts of service, which is something that I enjoy doing as a way of contribution within the community, however I wanted a relationship with god that was one on one, without the noise. My relationship with god is personal, and one that connects on such an in depth level, that I feel united as one.

In my pain, I asked god what I needed to do to strengthen my mind, my heart, my motivation, to lift me up from the floor I was laying on, tears streaming down my face. I was at the mercy of god, vulnerable, childlike, just being, allowing the searing, burning, tingling pain to seep through all of my body. I started allowing the emotions to be released on a level I had not experienced. I felt closer to my father, I could hear him telling me to get up. He was cheering me on, his smile that was infectious. He hated seeing me cry, it was something he couldn’t bear to see, and would always comfort me with the tightest hugs. I was his girl, the one who would listen, and understand, who would forget that she was in a mood with him, because the unconditional love poured through.

I went back to a time on my wedding day, where my connection was so strong with god, when I was doing the four laavan (wedding procession around the Guru Granth Sahib/holy book). I was connected to god throughout, closing my eyes, and clasping my hands, and seeing in the corner of my eye as I was walking around how ill my father was, standing there as any proud father would, nobody would have seen him any different. The pain was internal, nobody could see, or know what I was experiencing on that day. All I knew was that I was not going to cry, until it was customary to do so. I wanted to be brave.

In my physical pain, I mustered up the courage to make a comeback, I was not going to be overcome by the pain, emotionally or physically. I was grateful I was alive, I didn’t have a terminal illness like cancer that my dad had. I told myself that I have more years on this Earth, and I am bloody going to do something with my life that is worthwhile, that will be my purpose, my life’s work I told myself.

In Punjabi seva is something that is instilled as part of our journey of being an honest human being on this Earth, and now was the time for me to give back and serve others. I never felt so strongly until that moment in my pain to do this. It didn’t matter that others had hurt me, as much as I hurt myself, inflicting internal pain. I knew it would affect my whole family, and they needed me, I needed them. My daily prayers gave me so much strength I felt empowered, and I set upon the vision that when I healed I would share my story, and help others, even if it took me a while to realise it.

3 takeaways:

1. If you believe in god, or a higher purpose then use it as motivation to strengthen your mind and belief that you can do this.
2. Hope can be gained from focusing on prayers, and bring about miracles that you hear and see.
3. Praying actually can help reduce anxiety and experience calmness.