How Positive Leadership taps into vulnerability

Welcome to the latest edition of my Positive Leadership & You newsletter. ?

This month, we will look at vulnerability, not as a weakness, but as something that can be empowering. As usual, I have included some great stories from my podcast guests to inspire you.???

Please keep sharing your comments and experiences. I love hearing from all of you.?

Me: Focusing on our personal growth, wellbeing and being positive?

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness” – Brené Brown

The work of positive leadership begins within us. We must truly know ourselves and, to do that, we must be honest with ourselves, which can be hard. It can make us feel vulnerable.

But we need to get comfortable with vulnerability: particularly in owning our mistakes, failures, and flaws without making excuses, without blaming others, without being defensive. ‘Radical accountability’ is what Mellody Hobson calls it. Earlier this month, I had an incredible conversation with Mellody, Co-CEO and President of Ariel Investments, where she said the goal, for her, is:

“to really be intellectually honest with myself and hold myself accountable for what I don’t do well.”

For more inspiration from Mellody, take a listen to the podcast.?

Emotional vulnerability is uncomfortable at times, but it is necessary for personal growth. My latest podcast guest Perla Servan-Schreiber , who co-founded Psychologies magazine, believes we can only move forward through an awareness of our limits – not because these are permanent, because some can be overcome, but because there are others we must learn to work with. Perla made the art of self-awareness accessible to all through Psychologies. She and her husband relaunched the magazine 26 years ago, finding a worldwide audience who wanted to know more about themselves. At the time, this popularization was quite revolutionary. Today, we know that self-awareness is key to building a more positive approach to life. If you’re a French speaker, you can hear the rest of my great conversation with Perla here.????

There’s a great phrase: ‘put your own oxygen mask on first’. It means you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others. So often, we tell ourselves to “power through”, we have this idea that our work selves are invincible, and we push our bodies in ways that are unproductive and unhealthy. I have been guilty of this, not always prioritizing good sleep for example in my past, which I have since addressed.??

Something that Kevin Johnson , one of my first podcast guests, said really stayed with me. Years back, he cancelled his doctor’s appointments so he could take a business trip at a time when he was battling melanoma:

“I asked myself, why, through my actions, would I prioritize a business trip over my health, my life, the people I love?”

Listen to the podcast for more learnings from Kevin.

Recognizing our physical vulnerability is just as important as being vulnerable with our emotions as we strive to be more authentic, transparent leaders.?

Me & Others: Connecting with and empowering others to achieve more?

One of my most memorable experiences of vulnerability in leadership was being coached by ?? Michael Bungay Stanier , live on stage, in front of thousands of Microsoft managers.??

By sharing my personal challenges in that moment, showing that I was prepared to be vulnerable as a leader, in front of so many people, really resonated with my colleagues. People I was leading saw another side of me: a person who doesn’t have all the answers and who is open to asking, learning, and growing.??

I enjoyed talking more about vulnerability as a leader in the Box of Crayons video series : Curiosity Changes Everything. Ultimately, I believe it’s empowering, but it can be challenging, so where do we start? Here are my two tips:

1. Don’t pretend like you know it all, be open to learning it all.?
2. Don’t pretend like everything you do is a success. Own your mistakes. Grow from them.?

A leader who is comfortable with vulnerability is one who, in Bill George ’s words, leads with emotional intelligence. This means saying yes to sharing your thoughts and emotions in a constructive, positive way. It’s also about being transparent about your flaws in a way that is relatable.??

In my experience, making a conscious effort to be more vulnerable has helped me create a deeper trust and bond with the people I lead or work with. And trust is so key to effective teamwork.

Listen to Bill’s podcast episode for more leadership insights and learn more about my experience with vulnerability in the YouTube video.?

Me & the World: Having a positive impact on the world?

Vulnerability isn’t only a valuable tool for leading teams, it can be tapped into for solving social issues, too.?

A few months ago, I was joined on the podcast by Reshma Saujani who founded Girls who Code and is now the founder and leader of Moms First. Both organizations tackle gender disparities: from teaching coding skills to girls and young women; to advocating for equal pay, parental leave, and affordable childcare. Reshma pinpointed that the harder, larger problem is the need for culture change.

“If a company has been built without women and people of color, even if you're desperate for talent… you'll have stereotypes about who you think a good computer scientist is, who you think a good engineer is… what we find is that very competent women who have the qualifications don't get the opportunities because of this bias.”??

Embracing vulnerability as an organization is about recognizing and addressing ingrained biases, bringing in diverse and inclusive perspectives, to change culture and drive positive outcomes.????

For more from Reshma, listen to her podcast episode. She’s an inspiration.??

Even if you have a wonderful idea to drive positive change, maybe you don’t have the full picture? Or all the answers? Wouldn’t it be better to hear other perspectives on the problem before charging in with the solution that you think is best??

You might see a social issue and want to solve it. But every solution must be a co-creation and have input from those who will actually benefit from it. The starting point is by listening to the people you would like to help. They have a much better understanding of the issue that they face than you do, but they are often without the resources to tackle it. As Jeroo Billimoria puts it:

"The premise is not, ‘I have an idea, and I’m going to tell you what to do.’ The premise is, ‘There may be this concept. Do you think you need it? Let’s first research. And let’s co-create.’”??

For more inspiration from Jeroo, listen to her podcast episode.?

I encourage each of you to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Ultimately, vulnerability is a strength, a superpower we can all use to be more positive in ourselves, our work, and in the world.??

All the best, ?

jp ?