How to Play at Work

Have you ever hated your job? Truly despised every day? What was it about the job that you hated… I’ll take a guess and say it wasn’t the day to day tasks but the interactions with people that really ticked you off.

What makes workplace interactions so complicated? We all learned how to behave nicely in kindergarten, so why do we so easily abandon our basic values when in a corporate setting? The answer is that each one of us will have a unique perception of the same set of information and most of us don’t really understand the impact our behavior has on others, nor do we naturally question it. The problem is, we judge ourselves based on our intentions, but others based on their actions.

Ever hurt someone’s feelings and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you”, but it didn’t really matter to the other person because in fact, you did hurt them.

It's all about perception.?

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see this picture?

Horses? Love? Friendship? Sunset? In any group of people, you’ll hear most of these responses. We can all have different perceptions of the same set of information. So how on earth can we collaborate?

Collaboration means results.

When we understand that our behavior can be interpreted differently and independently from our intentions and that there is a consequence and impact of our behavior on others, we have some self-knowledge. By accepting our differences as valid and valuing our diversity, creating rapport and ultimately co-create results.

If we spend time arguing over who is right or wrong, we can’t go very far in co-creating results and the chances are we’ll start hating our jobs, disengaging and ultimately either avoiding accountability or leaving our jobs.

Building trust in teams and achieving optimal productivity is a long game and requires attention and dedication. But if we can just go back to school for a moment and remember the basic rules for how to play together, we can move forward much more quickly towards alignment and results.

So what are the rules of the game?

1. Don’t point.

Never, ever accuse people of wrongdoing publicly. Ask yourself first if it is the right moment or context for your feedback before sharing it. Approach the individual you believe to be at fault privately and use facts before making judgement.

2. Use your words.

When you need something, ask for it. Don’t assume people can read your mind. No one will dump opportunity in your lap. If you don’t ask, you can’t complain.

3. Say you’re sorry.

Things will go wrong, you will make mistakes and so will others. If you hurt someone unintentionally, say you’re sorry. Admitting when you are wrong is almost always the fastest and best way forward.

4. Listen.

You can’t know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, so remember you don’t really know things until you ask. Listening and asking questions activate people and help build relationships. If you impose your opinions and judgements on others before asking, you push them into a corner rather than engaging them in conversation.

5. Put away your toys.

Collaboration is key to achieving results in a team. Remember that whatever you’re working on, it isn’t finished until it’s ready for someone else to take over. Documentation should be a part of every job.

6. Don’t cry over spilt milk.

No one is infallible. You will make mistakes and so will your colleagues and even your bosses. Don’t sweat the small stuff because if you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.

7. Share.

Sharing first generates better results. Take time to share with others and you’ll see a return on the investment. Success is perfectly divisible and no one person can claim credit for a team result.

8. Make space for everyone.

The argument that makes the best decision may come from anybody in the room, regardless of their seniority. Sometimes the best ideas come from the most unexpected people so make space for all voices to be heard.

9. Tell the truth.

Hiding an agenda or not being forthcoming about what you want will always slow you down. What you signal to others and what you request should be what you really want and not a part of a plan to influence others.

10. Wash your hands before you start.

Prepare yourself before asking for someone else’s time. It’s a sign of respect and it allows for better use of time for everybody involved.

In conclusion, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice- at least if you want your business to be truly competitive and thrive.