How to pick up your career when you return from maternity leave

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Disclaimer: This is very subjective topic. In this blog I talk about things that really worked for me but might not work for everyone else. I’m also in a privileged position to have a partner who is able to support me and I completely recognise that my approach would not work for single parents (who I am in awe of). Please bare this in mind when you are reading.

?Returning to work after being off on maternity leave for whatever length of time is a big deal. You’ve completely immersed yourself in raising a tiny human being with all the joy, challenge and overwhelm it brings. You’ve been navigating a huge learning curve and new way of life and now you need to figure out how to ride that out whilst balancing the move back to work.

?Where do you even start ?!

?Start before you begin

It is good to understand the long lasting impact you want to leave behind and how this will ease your eventual return. For me, this meant setting everything in play so that most of the projects and/or relationships I was handing over would not return to me, not at least in the same guise. It gave other members of my team the perfect opportunity to take ownership of a project, drive it forward and bring their own creativity to the table. This was with the intent that when I came back I could take more of a strategic role overseeing their progress and offering guidance if required. This not only enabled me to let go of everything before I went off?(and therefore clear my mind of it) but also meant I was freeing up my future self to come back to work and have a choice over projects and time commitments that would suit my working pattern. Other than that, don’t plan anything else - you’ll think about your return as and when you are ready. Focus on the excitement ahead!

?Feel connected

On maternity leave you enter a whole new bubble of being, which is centred around your little one. You need time to soak this up and enjoy the very rare occasion we get to focus solely on our children for an extended period of time. But this can also be very lonely. The day to day support network that was once your colleagues and friends can feel as though it has fallen away and your WhatsApp chat revolves around nappies, nap times and nursery waiting lists with the new mums you have befriended. Your support network shifts and your familiar outlet for life’s niggles needs to adapt. I really welcomed keeping touch with colleagues to provide me with an outlet to ‘be me’ and talk about familiar things – client challenges, new wins, office gossip, who’s doing what.

I did this in a couple of different ways:

?·??????Informal chats over Teams: I arranged informal coffee catch ups over teams to easily touch base with no pressure to be anywhere or need to prepare any childcare. I did this from when my son was a couple of months old and often had him sitting in his bouncer, holding him or sleeping in the background. You can ask your partner, a friend or family member to watch your little one for 30 mins to enable you to do this if you don’t feel comfortable having your baby on the call, and you can always cancel last minute if you’re not feeling up to it!

·??????Keeping in Touch (KIT) days: I used most of my KIT days to come into the office for team meetings and catch up more formally about work, hearing what the team were doing and how they were feeling. I roped in support from my family and partner to enable me to do this so that I could leave my son for a few half and full days split across a month or two.?As I was still breastfeeding at the time, I had to pack my pump and make use of our office quiet room which was much less hassle than I thought it would be!

?This allowed me to feel connected through having very ‘normal’, comforting conversations whilst being appreciative that I could go back into my new born bubble afterwards. Seeing my colleagues reinforced my sense of belonging and also enabled me to see any changes that were happening whilst I wasn’t there. It was important for me to keep my finger on the pulse and feel connected to work but not be connected to at work. I managed to stay in touch whilst staying detached from work in my mind so that I could immerse myself in motherhood and enjoy the time I had watching my son grow and develop.

?Throw yourself into it (carefully)

It’s very daunting thinking about how on earth you are going to remember what you do, let alone how you do it successfully. The best approach for me was to throw myself back into work through a phased return; working 2 days/week for 6 weeks then increasing this to 3 days/week for 8 weeks before going up to full time. I had discussions with my line manager well before my return so that there was a good idea of which project I could get involved with and how my time commitments would work to accommodate this. With the carefully constructed support of my team and clearly communicated understanding that I was phasing back part time, this worked well to enable me to get comfortable with my home/work balance. I quickly built my confidence back and nudged my brain into gear again! My main learning was that 2 days/week was very difficult to manage due to the movement in the project during my non-working days and difficulty building client relationships – I’d recommend this approach for 3 or 4 weeks but probably not longer.?3 days/week was manageable but you need to set very clear boundaries to avoid work creeping into your non-working days – my boundary was if I had to do any work or have a meeting on a non-working day it was only for an absolutely essential client meeting (of which there were only a few) and it would have to be in my son’s nap time. I did NOT make a regular occurrence on this and neither should anyone. I did not commit to many other business activities and focused on my project work and building a relationship with my client. Which brings me onto my next point…

?Ring fence yourself and your time but don’t let other people ring fence you.

You need to be the decision maker as to how you want to use your time; supporting role to ease back? You decide. challenging stretch project? You decide. If you feel ready, remind your manager to offer you up opportunities and give you a choice. Quite often the choice is made for us with the view of “oh they are easing back from mat leave, I don’t want to put pressure on them” . That’s not anyone else’s decision to make but yours. This means clearly articulating to your team and manager what you are and aren’t willing to take on and checking yourself on this every couple of weeks. Two months into my return, I took on a challenging role managing a large project team and, despite the initial imposter syndrome moments, I found it very rewarding and just what I needed to affirm my enjoyment of work and the industry I work within.

?Rally support from your partner and be demanding.

Demanding because I don’t think people empathise enough with the mental capacity required to return to work, leave your little one, find a new work/life balance, and appease the constant circle of worry in your mind about who’s doing drop offs, dinners, laundry, cleaning etc.?It’s so important that you agree with your partner how you are going to split responsibilities but more importantly how they can support you mentally through a huge shift in your life. My partner took some days leave to help during my KIT days, looked after my son when he was ill and couldn’t go to nursery, has done more than his fair share of drop offs and pick ups and was (and still is) there to listen to my challenges and be a sounding board to all my needs. It’s not easy, and you will argue about it, but it’s so important to test your boundaries and end up with something that works for both of you as well as recognises that your partner will need to take more on in the first few months of your return. If you work as a team to ?build your confidence back in the workplace, and in your new phase of motherhood, your career will take off right behind.

?And this is how I picked up my career returning from maternity leave. It’s no mean feat. I’m 7 months back into work and still learning how to get the balance right but I feel really confident and comfortable in my role. I have an incredibly supportive team both at home and in the workplace which has enabled me to thrive and I’d love to support others in being able to achieve the same.