How personal are you professionally?

For your professional relationships - on LinkedIn, other platforms, and in the office - how personal are you professionally?

Two extremes

At one extreme, you don't want to come across as cold, closed off, and impersonal. At the other extreme, a leader will make others uncomfortable by sharing intimate details of his/her personal life.

Similarly, how do you respond when someone shares concerns that are more personal than you're comfortable with?

What to consider

What follows are some factors to consider when answering the question "How personal are you professionally?"

1. What's the nature of the relationship? Peer, supervisor, or direct report?
2. How well do you know the other person? Not simply how long, but how closely?
3. What's the depth of trust between you? That is, the relationship isn't inappropriate or an abuse of power.
4. Is the conversation comfortable, flowing, and normal. Or, has it gotten uncomfortable and prying?
5. Is there a noticeable break point where professional or legal counsel should be involved?

Who am I?

Assume you are well within the bounds of the guidelines just listed. Again, how personal are you professionally? I suggest you look inside to see what you're like.

For example, I was told by a mentor that I was very guarded. As a result, I can come across as mechanical and impersonal. My corrective action was:

• Be a better listener.
• Improve my ability to express empathy.
• More openly share my perceptions and concerns with others.

What changed?

For me, one outcome was more enriching conversations with both peers and direct reports. Some of those conversations were a bit outside my comfort zone. However, that's not saying much for someone who is a fairly serious introvert!

An important take-away for me was the necessity for a leader to combine professional demeanor with interpersonal sensitivity. I got better, but still wasn't exceptional at being warm and fuzzy!

How so? Once, when discussing a stress point with a female staff member, I acknowledged that I wasn't as aware as some about interpersonal issues between the staff. Unsurprisingly, she was unable to stile her laugh!

Ok, I get it!

The point is, I did listen. And, I did address the issue. Plus, slowly, I improved my interpersonal skills.

Therefore, it's possible, even in extreme cases (like me!), to improve your people skills. It is possible to become more personal professionally. Most critically, if there's hope for me, there's hope for anyone who is a leader!

Leadership insights

It's good to be efficient. To be data driven and rational. Also, to be effective by recognizing what's of greatest importance. Moreover, it's really good to be a high producer. To have a reputation for fairness, dependability, and for on-time delivery of high-quality outcomes.

All that said, impactful leaders combine productivity with interpersonal capability. How so? By having a deep sensitivity to the needs around them. So, be the leader who deeply touches others.

The precept

Proverbs 11.11 says leadership integrity means doing right. See also Proverbs 11.3 and 11.6. That integrity is marked by traits such as honesty and compassion. As a result, that leader is a blessing to those around him or her. Therefore, be that leader.

A question

How comfortable are you in handling the interpersonal aspects of being a leader? In short, how personal are you professionally?

Dale Young shares the balanced life with influencers. That balanced life is based on the universal precepts found in the Book of Proverbs. He posts regularly on LinkedIn. His blog is available here . Prior to repurposing, Dr. Young had a thirty year career in higher education as a faculty member and university administrator. To learn more, see the "About" section of his LinkedIn profile, as well as the "Some words about me" and "Value Proposition" sections of his blog .