How Parenting Can Be Like Coaching: Nurturing Kids' Wellbeing

One evening, after a long day at school, my 15-year-old daughter, Mia, came home in tears. She had just received a disappointing grade on a maths test and felt like she had let everyone down. As I sat down beside her, I could see the weight of her disappointment. Rather than jumping straight into reassurances, I paused to reflect on how a coach might handle a similar situation

I recalled a time when her soccer coach had faced a similar challenge with the team. Instead of focusing solely on the loss, the coach gathered the players and encouraged them to discuss what went wrong, what they could learn, and how they could improve moving forward. Inspired by that memory, I asked Mia how she felt about the test and what she thought she could do differently next time.

As we talked, I saw her begin to shift from feeling defeated to thinking about solutions. We set a small goal together: she would practice math's for just 15 minutes a day. By the end of our conversation, she was smiling again, feeling empowered to take charge of her learning, just as a player would after a motivating coaching session.

This moment made me realize how closely parenting can resemble coaching. By adopting a coaching mindset, I was not just comforting her but actively helping her build resilience and a growth mindset—skills that would serve her well beyond the classroom.

The Importance of Parenting and Coaching in a Child's Development

Parenting and coaching play crucial roles in shaping a child's overall development. Through love, support, and guidance, parents instil values, build self-esteem, and nurture social skills. A positive parenting approach fosters a sense of security, enabling children to explore their world and develop resilience in the face of challenges.

On the other hand, coaching provides a structured framework for skill development and goal achievement. Coaches focus on enhancing specific abilities, whether in academics, sports, or personal growth. They encourage children to set realistic goals, push their limits, and learn from failures. This guidance helps children develop a growth mindset, teaching them that effort and perseverance lead to improvement.

When combined, effective parenting and coaching create a holistic approach to development. Children benefit from emotional support while also receiving the tools they need to navigate challenges and achieve their aspirations. This dual influence equips them with the resilience, confidence, and skills necessary for lifelong success.

Parallels Between Parenting and Coaching whilst reflecting on the Coaching core competencies

1.Setting Goals and establishing/maintaining agreements

• Just like coaches help athletes set realistic and achievable goals, parents can work with their children to establish personal goals, whether academic, social, or emotional.
• Discuss the importance of age-appropriate goals and how they contribute to a child’s sense of accomplishment.

2.Providing Support and Encouragement – Embodying a coaching mindset

• Emphasise the role of emotional support in both coaching and parenting.
• Share strategies for fostering resilience in children, such as celebrating small victories and helping them learn from setbacks.

3.Communicating Effectively

• Effective communication is crucial in coaching and parenting. Highlight the importance of active listening and open dialogue.
• Discuss how asking open-ended questions can encourage children to express their feelings and thoughts.

4.Modelling Behaviour – Cultivate Trust and safety and also demonstrate ethics here while you practice what you preach

• Coaches lead by example, and parents can do the same. Talk about the significance of modelling healthy behaviours, such as stress management and problem-solving.
• Mention how children often imitate their parents and how positive behaviour can lead to healthier habits.

5.Building a Team Environment – facilitate growth

• Discuss the concept of teamwork in both coaching and parenting. Explain how involving children in family decisions fosters a sense of belonging and responsibility.
• Encourage parents to create a supportive home environment where children feel safe to express themselves.

6.Prioritizing presence:

• Stop several times each day and take in the moment. If you're breathing, and your child is alive, then you are CRUSHING it. If you are present with your client, asking simple questions you don't know the answer to, supporting what's important, then you are CRUSHING IT.

Last and the most important one is

7.Regulating your nervous system: Coaching sub-competency 2.6 states, “Develops and maintains the ability to regulate one's emotions”. As a mom to a toddler, high schooler, teenager or any age child who has epic tantrums, it is good to remember that crying is a stress release. It's the child’s only outlet of frustration, and it's in their best interest to let it out of his system. It's our job to help them learn to navigate it and keep a loving, calm energy.

In conclusion, I encourage all readers of this blog to reflect on your role as a parent and how a coaching mindset can enhance and enrich the relationship goals with your child.

Wishing you all the best in your parenting journey—both for parents and coaches alike!

Author- Deepa Prashanth