How to overcome your fear of failure (especially when you show up)

Be it a bad speech, a failed project or a stagnant career: We are all people who fail. Anyone who makes a plan, follows their ideas and takes on a new challenge, will inevitably fail from time to time. Not necessarily to a serious extent. But in such a way that it hurts and we doubt whether we are on the right track at all.

Such moments are terrible. And yet it is precisely these agonizing experiences that stimulate our growth. Because failure and personal development go hand in hand.

But how can we better deal with our fear of failure? Especially when we expose ourselves to the judgment of others? Let's take a look at the 4 steps:

Step #1: Learn to deal constructively with failure

"What does not kill me makes me stronger." This phrase sums up the concept of failure and personal growth. Because even though we may find it difficult to acknowledge failure, or even be inclined to blame others, there are moments when we need to recognize that we have reached a dead end.

The realization that our failure is a reality opens the way for a profound learning process that broadens our horizons of experience and ultimately strengthens us.

Anyone who has ever had to accept a painful setback knows how difficult it is to talk about these things. Because failure is equated with defeat in our society. Instead of being proud of our courage in daring to act, we are ashamed of our apparent mistakes.

But it is not the one who fails who is a loser, but the one who does not even try:

Being successful means dealing constructively with failure and the fear of failing.

Step #2: Believe in your self-efficacy

Which cause we attribute success or failure to has a key impact on whether we are even willing to put ourselves in situations where we can fail.?

People who attribute failure to their own inadequacy and success to external circumstances have much to lose and little to gain: They are more likely to shy away from risky situations because failure calls them into question as a person, but success does not bolster their self-esteem.

This attitude often means a career obstacle. Because these people do not simply overcome a defeat and try again, but prefer to do even more training and perfect their own skills. Instead of plunging into the adventure with courage and vigor, they procrastinate - always driven by the fear of failing.

In contrast, people who explain failure with external circumstances and success with their own competence are more willing to take on challenges because defeat does not shake them in their self-image, while success strengthens their self-esteem.?

Because they believe in their self-efficacy and are convinced that they are the forgers of their own success, they are always looking for new challenges in which they can prove themselves and grow.

Studies show that men have a "healthier" approach to failure than women. This is because men tend to attribute failure to external circumstances or a run of bad luck, but attribute success to their own ability. Women, on the other hand, more often explain success with luck or external circumstances and attribute failure to their own inability.

The motto is: Don't give up!

Ultimately, it is always a question of time and perseverance. If you try long enough and don't let yourself be thrown off track by setbacks, you will succeed.

Step #3: Use your self-doubt to get ahead

If you are fully committed, put all your eggs in one basket and pursue your ideas and ideals with enthusiasm, you run the risk of getting stuck. That's why it's important to question your actions regularly.

In the same way that failure helps us move forward, doubt and a healthy dose of self-reflection also help us progress: they give us the opportunity to take another critical look at an idea or a process, to recognize stumbling blocks at an early stage and to make improvements in good time.

A critical approach to ourselves therefore leads to constant improvement and prevents us from losing our way.

Step #4: Take criticism as a learning opportunity

Many people fear criticism because there is always something shameful about it. Shame is a social emotion, meaning we only feel shame when we have an audience. So when someone points out a mistake or mishap to us, we feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

So we lack the courage to show ourselves as we really are - only because we are afraid of the opinion of outsiders. Or we don't let criticism get to us at all - and thus miss the chance to learn from the feedback of our fellow human beings.

Dealing with criticism in a constructive and meaningful way is one of the most important success factors for people who expose themselves and stand out from the crowd.?

Yet it is precisely this social aspect that offers a great opportunity: by looking at us through the eyes of outsiders and giving critical feedback, they draw our attention to things that we do not notice ourselves. They show us ways that we have not thought of before.

3 rules for dealing with criticism in a beneficial way

1. Accept criticism if it is honestly meant.
2. If the criticism affects you, you know you can learn from it.
3. Don't let it sway you from your path if criticism simply comes across as disruptive.

In a nutshell: 7 Practical tips for dealing with your fear of failure

• Recognize that failure is part of a successful career. It is not those who never fail who are successful, but those who learn to deal constructively with their failures.
• Don't feel sorry for your failures, but be proud of your initiative and courage to show up.
• Be careful to attribute success and failure appropriately: In the future, attribute success to your knowledge and skills, and failure to chance or external conditions.
• Do not give up when you are convinced of something. Sooner or later success will come.
• Learn from your mistakes and reflect on your behavior and decisions regularly to make sure you don't get carried away.
• Handle criticism professionally: Be open to criticism and accept it when it applies. However, beware of destructive, content-free criticism that offers no learning opportunities.
• Learn to take criticism, even when it hurts. Stay confident in your path if it is the right one for you.??

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