how to overcome the 'tomorrow' trap

How many times do we live our lives in the myth of 'I'll be happy when....'

It's easy to live our lives in a perpetual state of waiting – waiting to be happy.

We tell ourselves stories that start with "I'll be happy when..." followed by various life achievements or milestones:

"Once I get the promotion," "Once I launch the business," "Once I make a million dollars," "When I buy a house," "When I find the perfect partner," "When I lose twenty pounds," "When I retire" -- we each can come up with many statements like these.

Unfortunately, this mindset puts our potential happiness off for another day - out in the future.

We postpone our joy, tying it to future outcomes that may or may not materialize as we envision them. When in reality, it's a form of self-imposed suffering – trading our present contentment for the promise of future fulfillment.

The reality is that happiness isn't a fixed state we achieve once certain conditions are met.

Happiness is a dynamic emotion that naturally ebbs and flows throughout our days and our lives. When we finally reach those coveted milestones – whether it's landing that dream job or successfully launching our business (whatever the 'thing' is) – we often experience a brief surge of joy, only to find ourselves quickly setting new conditions for happiness.

The goalposts keep moving, and we remain caught in the cycle of "I'll be happy when..."

But consider this: none of us knows how long we have on this earth. Why would we postpone our happiness for some imagined future that may never arrive? Or worse, what if we reach that future only to discover that the happiness we envisioned doesn't turn out the way we thought?

What if you make that million dollars only to realize you've sacrificed relationships, lost other important things along the way, or created new problems for yourself - because of your approach to getting the millie? Everything in life is a lesson - when you're open to looking at it that way.

Research in positive psychology suggests that sustainable happiness isn't built by achieving specific outcomes, but rather by finding joy and meaning in our present circumstances.

The key is understanding and accepting that our future goals can coexist with happiness in the present-moment.

A more effective approach is to shift our focus from future-based happiness to present-moment gratitude.

I remember times before I finally made the break from my corporate exec role with a large NYC ad agency, that I had to diligently work at happiness by keeping a gratitude journal. Even though I had the 'money' box checked, I wrote 10 things I'm grateful for every morning. And guess what - I still do that.

I found that even after breaking free from the golden handcuffs, I still had to remind myself about the things I was grateful for to maintain that levity of contentment and happiness.

We can start by asking ourselves two powerful questions each day: "What am I happy about in my life right now?" and "What could I be happy about if I chose to be?"

These questions serve multiple purposes. First, they direct our attention to the good things already present in our lives – relationships, talents, experiences, and simple pleasures we might be taking for granted. Second, they remind us that happiness is a choice.

Think about the small moments that bring you joy: a hot shower in the morning, walking the dog, a conversation with a friend, the satisfaction of completing a task, or acknowledging the simple act of eating or breathing. These experiences are available to us every day, but we often take them for granted because we're too focused on what's missing or 'what's next.'

The practice of present-moment happiness doesn't require us to abandon our aspirations.

Instead, it allows us to enjoy the journey and experiences while working toward our goals. We can acknowledge that yes, we'd like to launch the new business or get the book written, while still finding joy in our current situation. This balanced approach leads to greater resilience and life satisfaction.

Research also shows that happy people are actually more likely to achieve their goals.

When we're not burdening ourselves with the weight of conditional happiness, we're more creative, productive, and open to opportunities. Happiness becomes both the journey and the destination.

Breaking free from the "I'll be happy when..." mindset requires practice and conscious effort.

It means catching ourselves when we fall into the trap of postponing happiness and redirecting our attention to the present moment.

It means challenging our assumptions about what we think we need to be happy and recognizing that many of the ingredients for happiness are already within our reach.

We are all creative beings. Ensuring we take steps toward creating or moving toward our desired future goals each day (ideally) or weekly (at a minimum) is a key to contentment and happiness.

The next time you find yourself thinking "I'll be happy when I make my first million" or "I'll be happy once I get that promotion," pause and ask yourself what you could be happy about right now.

Look at your life with fresh eyes and an open heart. You might be surprised to discover how many reasons for joy or gratitude already exist in your present moment.

Life is too precious and uncertain to put our happiness on hold.

By choosing to find joy in the present while working toward our goals, we create a more fulfilling and meaningful life experience. After all, the best time to be happy is now – not in some distant future that may never arrive quite as we imagined it.

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Until next time,

LuRae

Be You and Be Free