How to overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Coach.

How to see yourself as a Competent Coach not a Fraud?

The new and aspiring coaches I work with often tell me about that inner nagging voice in their head that runs:

"Who are you to be a coach for others?"

"Who are you to help people with problems you still struggle with?"

"They will find you one day and prove you are a fraud"

They often feel less confident and more insecure in themselves because of that voice and ask:

"How do I know if this is real or if I am really not competent enough?" 

Exactly, dear Coach, how do you know what is true?

In Psychology there is a model called The Dunning-Kruger effect. Let’s translate its meaning in the context of coaching.

The new starting coaches tend to be overconfident not because of arrogance but because they don’t know what they don’t know. Their perceived knowledge is high in comparison to the actual knowledge.

The more experienced coaches tend to have a completely different mindset.

They are too well aware of what they don’t know. As a result, the more they learn the more they see there is to learn and the less confident they feel.

This is NORMAL.

I know you don’t want to feel bad about yourself, you want to believe that you as a coach are credible enough and competent enough.

The feeling of Imposter Syndrome is being built on the core belief that you as an individual, a human being are not quite good enough.

It is in shifting this fundamental belief about yourself that feeling competent and good enough as Coach Expert grows from.

If your core belief is that you are not good enough then you spend rest of your life proving to yourself that you are not good enough coach.

You progress from a trainee to practitioner to master coach and leader hoping to feel like an expert one day, but this day never comes.

What to do about it?

The fundamental shift happens in your coaching work when you truly, genuinely see and appreciate your worth as human before you appreciate yourself as a good enough coach.

Think about it. How can you ever feel good enough at this or that if your underlying belief is “I am not enough”?

In my Coaching practice I take my clients through powerful exercises and a guided process to help them differentiate

• Who You Are  
• How You Are You
• What You Do

You discover the core fundamental truth about who it is that you are and learn to believe in your enoughness today regardless of your achievements and external recognition. Sometimes this involves revisiting the vulnerable time in your life when your idea of own worthiness began and accepting the pain with self-compassion not self-judgment.

It is a powerful process and you are welcome to contact me to find out more but for now I wanted to give you some Golden Tips for overcoming that imposter feeling through self-coaching.

The “Golden 7” in transforming your Coach Expert confidence

1.     Accept the feeling of an Imposter and become curious, not judgmental.

It is way too often that we step into the self-judgment mode when we identify what we don’t have. For most people it is much easier to identify their flaws rather than their gifts and talents. Overcoming Imposter starts in accepting it with self-compassion and a sense of curiosity. “Hmm, I want to understand why I feel it and learn to change it”.

2.     Identify the thoughts that create that mistaken “Coach Fraud” image.

What exactly is the language that your Imposter is talking to you?

“Who am I to coach people?”

“They will see through me and find me out”

“I have the same problems what my clients, how can I coach them!?”

Take a piece of paper and write down this Imposter monologue now.

3.     Imposter is composed of thoughts. Recognise that you are not those thoughts.

Can you predict what your next thought would be? 

Although you are not able to do that, your inner observer can certainly witness the thoughts when they appear. Recognise who you are when you believe all those thoughts about yourself. 

How do you behave, what do you see, how do you show up on the sessions with your clients? At the same time be aware of who you are without all those Imposter thoughts.

Conclusion: You are not your thoughts, you are not your feelings, you are not your behaviour. This is something that you are experiencing rather than you are. Let’s change it!

4.     Change your inner story about your worthiness.

You know you are not the story you are telling yourself so you can change it to a story that is actually helpful.

You could simply decide to think different thoughts, e.g.:

“I am good enough at being who I am today”

“I am on a learning journey with my client”

“I am excited about growing and becoming better Coach today than I was yesterday.”

“I am appreciating my achievements, but I don’t need to be attached to them and protect them. Instead I decide to grow and learn rather than to look back”.

“If I am the smartest person in the room, I am in the wrong room.”

“I am confident around people smarter than me. I can learn from them so much!”.

5.     Elevate your Self-Concept. What kind of leader do you need to become in order for that false belief to not affect you? [Hint: Identity based habits]

Think of 3 persons, inspirational or thought leaders, coaches you really admire. Then list all qualities and traits you admire them for. 

Look at this list. Does it remind you of someone? Yes, correct, you have just hold up the mirror for yourself. 

Now, what your role model leader would do in order for him/ her to not feel an Imposter? Jot down some ideas (think of empowering habits, routines, energy audit).

Habits create your identity so chose 3 key habits that will support your new elevated self-concept, e.g. Daily Gratitude List, 3 Daily Wins, Recorded list of “Why I will succeed’ etc.

6.     Shift your focus from “me, me, me” to the client and the service.

When you are on that coaching call with your client make them a centre of the Universe. This show is not about you. It is all about them. Whenever your overthinking gets in the way - Refocus, Refocus, Refocus.

7.     Commit to working toward Being Better not Being XYZ Enough (smart enough, this enough, that enough).

As you are growing you are becoming better as a Coach. Does this mean you can keep growing and continue being better specialist in your field? Absolutely yes!

You will never know how to apply lessons you haven’t learned yet, but you do know how to apply lessons you have been presented to.

Let me reassure you, in this exact moment you know exactly what you should know, and you are doing the best with what you know today.

You, me, them, we are never going to be perfect anyway. This is no excuse for committing to be very best though.

Remind yourself of your gifts, talents, soft skills, experience, successes, list it all, voice record it, listen to it whenever you doubt yourself! At the same time assess any gaps in your knowledge and skills and reach out to people, resources to fill those gaps- with self-compassion, not self-judgment!

Would you rather spend the rest of your days working towards the day when you are smart enough, this enough, that enough and experiencing all the doubts and anxieties that you may never get there? 

OR 

You can spend the rest of your days simply working towards Being Better.

Better today than what it was yesterday.

If you commit your life to this then guess what will happen to all stress, anxieties of everyday life? They’re going to go away.

As a mission-driven Coach you know too well that a true transformation happens when you face the fear and “step into the cave you fear to enter”.

I’d like to give you the opportunity to prioritise your enoughness and worthiness in your coaching business and work on it.

If you want to see how coaching with me can help you build a solid belief in yourself and your abilities as a Professional Coach - book a Free 45 Consultation HERE.

Best,

Gosia x