How To Overcome Body Dysmorphia!
For those unaware what body dysmorphia is, it is when you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance. The intense of your focus may be minor or major but they will be an obsession of your appearance and body image, checking your mirror and perhaps seeking validation from those around you. If the obsession is frequent it will lead to significant distress and impact your ability to function in your daily life. The extreme side is a person will opt for numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" one's perceived flaw. This will lead to a temporary satisfaction or a reduction in distress, but often the anxiety returns and the person may resume searching for other ways to fix their perceived flaw.
A little personal history about me is when I was in my teens and in my early twenties I was definitely a lover of fast food and of course that led to a lot of weight gain, I believe at my heaviest I was about 95-97 Kgs ( 209 -213 Ibs / 14-15 Stone). I grew up in the West and being on the heavier side when I was young wasn't like how it is now where all body shapes are appreciated and even featured in runaways, ads, and fashion magazines even as the cover shot. So I grew up having a very morphed view of how I looked physically and honestly if I didn't practice positive affirmations and have an amazing family and friends who poured love into me and didn't see me for my looks but who i was to them and the impact I had in their life I would have had an even more challenging time.
I eventually lost a huge amount of weight in my late twenties and I was on average 30 kgs lighter but I realised I still was not content and happy, I was still critical of how I looked and had a complicated relationship with the mirror. I struggled shopping for clothes because I would buy for the old body than the new body, it never quite hit me that I was smaller. I then dated someone who preferred me bigger than smaller, I know this because they told me they weren't happy with how much I lost and wish for me not to lose any more, however I didn't like myself bigger because I was uncomfortable and self-conscious but I didn't want him to no longer find me attractive and so I subconsciously put on weight and perhaps added about 15kgs as a result. And after all that the relationship didn't last and when it ended I reverted back to getting my body back into shape, however I made a decision if the pursuit is to loose the weight and get to where I feel I will embrace myself I needed to love myself in the current stage I was in. The goal then became more about learning to love myself in all stages and I achieved this by positively pouring love into myself, it started with being naked in front of the mirror daily and saying affirmations such as I am beautiful and wonderfully made, I love me, I am healthy. Overtime I became comfortable and I enjoyed dressing up also because I began embracing who I was and learnt to dress in a way my shape was better complimented.
Taking it upon myself to first concentrate on who I am outside of my body, I discovered that working on how I felt within helped me illuminate my outside beauty. I also stopped idolising celebrities and desiring to be like them. The mission was to get to the point I can love me at my best and worst. These changes that I began to make made me realise that when I began to have the ability to see past all the ideologies of what is the society’s definition of beauty my confidence skyrockteted because I was blossoming from within and I reminded myself who I am and that led me to be a vision of the words I proclaimed. The compliments I received were reaffiriming what i was daily affirming to myself.
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I now live life being proud of my faults, my love handles, my height, my body shape and the list is endless. I personally believe my beauty shone through once I became comfortable in my own skin. Every now and then my body dysmorphia challenges will creep up on me, so I don't want to paint this picture that you will no longer have moments where you don't focus on areas you don't like but now I shake those defeating thoughts with ease and If there is something I am not happy with, instead of dwelling on what I don't like I shift my focus on what I can do to resolve it whether its exercise, self-care routines etc.
In summary the way to overcome body dysmorphia challenges:
All these will lead you to embrace your inner beauty and thus you will glow from the inside, out!