How to Overcome Anxiety as a High Achiever or Perfectionist

How to overcome anxiety as a high achiever/perfectionist

Have you ever considered using your anxiety as your strength to achieve your goals? Here’s how you can do it. ?

Something I realised through my work as an Executive Coach which was a real ‘eye opener’ was that even people who have achieved great success experience anxiety. They often have a habit of worrying about all the things that could go wrong and imagining the worst possible outcomes. They tend to think a lot about their mistakes and often compare themselves to others in a negative way. They also focus more on criticism and tend to brush off or not fully appreciate compliments they receive.

Yet, in many ways, their anxiety can actually be seen as a hidden strength. It ignites a fire within them, pushing them to work harder, strive for greatness, and achieve remarkable things. Their unwavering commitment and relentless pursuit of perfection make them stand out. However, I have also noticed that if they don't find a way to navigate and control their anxiety, it can transform into a silent tormentor. What once seemed like a valuable asset can gradually transform into a weight that drags them down, casting a shadow on their performance and holding them back from reaching their full potential in their career. A lot of what I do is reframing their thoughts and encouraging my clients to work through their anxiety and make it work for them.

These ‘thought traps’ which psychologists refer to as patterns of untrue and negatively biased thoughts have a way of entangling us, becoming so deeply rooted that they surface automatically, trapping us in their grip. In these moments, our vision becomes clouded, our ability to communicate falters, and our decision-making becomes detached from reality.

I’ve witnessed some of my clients, when faced with the weight of these thoughts, find refuge in drowning themselves with excessive workloads, while others turn to avoidance, or resort to passive-aggressive behaviour as coping mechanisms.

It's important to remember that there are healthier alternatives available to us. The initial and vital step we work on is acknowledging the different traps that ensnare us, pinpointing the ones that have the strongest hold on our minds. With this knowledge in hand, we can embark on a purposeful and uncomplicated path, armed with evidence-based strategies, to break free from their grip and reclaim our peace of mind.

Here are some of the most common thought traps I’ve experienced with my clients.

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How to Overcome Anxiety as an Overachiever/Perfectionist

‘Thought traps’ is a term which psychologists refer to as patterns of untrue and negatively biased thoughts have a way of entangling us, becoming so deeply rooted that they surface automatically, trapping us in their grip.

In these moments, our vision becomes clouded, our ability to communicate falters, and our decision-making becomes detached from reality.

Here are some of the most common thought traps I’ve experienced with my clients.

1. Either-or Thinking

Either-or thinking is when we perceive things as either perfect or a complete failure. For instance, if a situation falls short of our expectations, we tend to label it as a total disaster.

How to overcome it

Break free from this habit by embracing the intricacies and subtleties that exist.

Train yourself to consider multiple options and potential outcomes, enabling a more adaptable and realistic approach to decision-making and problem-solving.

Remember, life seldom operates in absolutes, and seeking the middle ground can lead to deeper comprehension and more favourable results.

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2. Labelling

When we label ourselves, we wire ourselves to define who we are based on certain qualities or experiences.

This can make you feel like they belong and understand themselves better.

“I’m such a failure”, “I’m completely incompetent”, “I didn’t deserve it anyway”.

How to overcome it

When you get into the habit of labelling yourself, you start to do it automatically. Pause for a moment and gather evidence to support your harsh judgments. Yes, sometimes you make a mistake, but does that one slip-up truly define your entire being according to your label?

3. Comparing yourself to others

Comparing ourselves to others is something we naturally do, as we measure our own qualities, accomplishments, and progress against those of others.

It can be a source of self-reflection and inspiration, but it also comes with its challenges.

When we constantly compare ourselves, we risk doubting ourselves, feeling envious, or believing we're not good enough.

How to overcome it

Instead of focusing on what others have or what you (think) you lack, shift your attention to the things you are grateful for and appreciate the little things about yourself.

Take time each day to reflect on your own strengths, accomplishments, and unique qualities.

Cultivating a mindset of gratitude and self-acceptance helps to shift the focus inward, fostering contentment and reducing the need for constant comparison and being distracted by others’ achievements.?

It is vital not to let thought traps and anxieties, including the harmful habit of comparing ourselves to others, bring us down. These traps can hinder our self-esteem, hinder our growth, and limit our potential.

By recognizing these patterns and actively working to overcome them, we empower ourselves to cultivate a positive mindset, embrace our unique qualities, and focus on our own personal growth and accomplishments.

I constantly remind me clients that their worth is not defined by external comparisons, but by their own journey and the progress they make along the way.

Embracing self-acceptance, practicing gratitude, and nurturing a supportive mindset will lead them to greater fulfilment, happiness, and the realization of their true potential.