How To Outreach On LinkedIn Without Feeling Slimy
Jeff Harry
Making Work Suck Less Through Play & Positive Psychology | Global Play Expert | Keynote Speaker | Play Futurist | Top 100 HR Influencer | Featured In Forbes, Mashable, NatGeo, NPR, NY Times, Upworthy, & WIRED
The famous play thought leader and a play mentor of mine, Kevin Carroll, asks:
What type of conversation are you trying to have:
A transactional or transformational conversation?
In this new reality of fake authenticity, I’ve found that many times when I received a LinkedIn message, I got a feigned interest in me, followed up with what that person is selling. I’m not sure what is worse. Pretending that you want to be friends or simply asking me to give you money directly. Both don’t feel good.
So, I’ve thought about how can a LinkedIn message actually not feel slimy even if you do want to ask something from that person. There is something powerful that I heard Shia Lebouf say in an interview at the Oxford Union that I thought was really profound:
Shia Lebouf talking about what it means to give vs. what it means to take
“There is something pure about a person that just comes in and gives…and doesn’t try to take nothing. Sometimes a selfie feels a bit like a take. Sometimes. Not all the time. It’s all in like the approach. If they are asking questions just to get to the selfie, you can feel it. If you are having an actual dialog about something, everyone is into it, and that comes up at the end, it doesn’t seem as much of a take.†— Shia Lebouf.
So, what is your approach that won’t simply be a take? What can you offer? Good conversation, recognizing them for their work, what can you do to start a real and genuine dialog, and not so transactional.
Here is a tip that has helped me when sending a cold email or LinkedIn message:
- Find out as much about the person as you can, looking through their LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, Medium articles, or any other way to express themselves.
- Identify what ideas they shared that resonate with them and connect with them on that level.
- Show that you did your homework and research, and you do know them to a certain extent.
- In your outreach email or message, GIVE!
- Offer them something that might be helpful to their work (I.e., new research, certain people that they would resonate with, great questions to ask about their work that help them explore it in more depth)
After you have given, then consider if it feels right to ask for anything. Maybe it won’t, so then just keep giving. Perhaps that person will eventually ask you how they can help you, or maybe they won’t. Let go of the results of trying to get something out of them and connect with them as a human being to another human being. Even with all the technology and all the information at our fingertips, It’s amazing how much we forget to do this simple act of humanity.
You feel slimy about your approach because it is not coming from a place of integrity. If you do the work where you don’t ever feel ashamed for showing up the way you are, you’ll let go of the feeling of being “salesly.†Learn how to give without expecting anything in return and see how that feels.
If you show up with generosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to be you, the work will eventually come. You’ll just need to trust the process.
Director of Operations at CMOM ? NYC Arts & Culture Leader ? Founder of aspiring better human?? ? Former Head of Visitor Experience at The Metropolitan Museum of Art ? LinkedIn Enthusiast
3 å¹´Fun article!
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3 å¹´I know, right?! I get loads of podcast pitches too about the same crap! Not everyone cares about becoming an overnight millionaire and not making the world a better place!
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Facilitator / Edutainer / Teambuilder / Author. I facilitate playful, immersive transformational experiences to foster personal & professional development for individuals and teams.
3 å¹´So very true - connection isn't about selling.
Communications Director & Digital Marketing Manager for Positive Social Change
3 å¹´I recently accepted a couple of requests and, as you say, immediately got pitched for something totally irrelevant to what I am doing. It's a shame because on the other hand, there are really importante connections to be made, for example, I recently reached out to someone with a similar profile on zoom and we ended up getting in touch and some great ideas came out of the conversation.