How to outgrow your problems

The 5 phases of personal transformation. In record time.

Dear co-leaders in transformation and pioneers into a new era,

Last time I wrote about how we can cope with outer transformation only through inner growth. By expanding our consciousness and capacity - metaphorically "the cup" - to hold more of the world in us without getting pressured and overwhelmed by it. In short: transitioning from being a "victim" to becoming a "self-author."

In this edition, I will unveil "the secret" of how it works and provide help for our daily leaders' lives.

It is a 5 step process: AWARE_OBJECT_SUBJECT_TRANSCEND_INTEGRATE

It is fundamentally rooted in the work of Robert Kegan, Susanne Cook-Greuter (Harvard), and Ken Wilber's integral frameworks, summarized in "vertical adult development." Available since the 80s... still broadly unknown, because leaders like to look where "the light is": in the outside, the power, the digital, organizational solutions.

But in our transformative work, we like to say: "we do not go out at the weekend. We go in."

Let's assume an "unlikely" case: a leader under stress - unable to lead others because of his or her own overwhelm, overexertion and overwork.

So, let's dive quickly into the inner process of personal growth or "growing the cup."

Become (Self-)aware of the Problem:

We know - as Otto Scharmer says - if you want to change a system, you have to change its consciousness. To change its consciousness, it needs to see itself. So, if you want to change or, better said, "develop" yourself, you have to become aware of your tensions, broken pieces, and disconnections. This is where your cup is going to break or is already broken and you distance from it, cutting the flow of energy, information and performance. Meaning: "I cannot solve the problems of my colleagues or let them grow, because I am out of energy, mental space and can barely cope with mine in the available time." The leader sees that his or her physical (stress), emotional (relating), and performance (too much to do in too little time) capabilities are full and so shutting down, meaning not able to stay connected with others. So the colleagues could say, "He or she is not caring about me, just controlling or ignoring me". In short: "Bad leader". So, the first step for the overwhelmed leader is to stop, slow down, and see: YES, I am overwhelmed, in survival mode, acting only from ego to stay alive - at any social cost. This self-realization - the consciousness seeing itself - is key. So, the great performers slow down and "go in"... When do you slow down, look inward, and acknowledge what really is and stop pretending "it is ok" while running faster on the hamster wheel of diminishing returns, increasing anxiety and separation?

The Subject-Object Mindset-Shift:

The ultimate power move of personal growth is now to take yourself, the overwhelmed leader, in front of you and see and feel it, make it "an object" to your awareness and open for other perspectives. In our case, the leader could say: "Oh, I am f...ed if I continue like this without calming my nervous system and having a regular recovery practice. And "oh, I am the problem, not my underperforming colleagues, because I do not see, feel, and lead them". And "oh, I am not in control of my calendar, but Outlook and my assistant are, regardless of the effectiveness, the calendar is packed". Great, this is a kind of mini-aha-enlightenment. It results in becoming a driver, a CEO, and an author of yourself - fear, the status seeker, anxiety, and stress are off the steering wheel. As I often say, "you have an ego or limiting belief, but you are not it". From this state on, you are the co-creator of yourself in exchange with the living environment. But not anymore being a victim of external circumstances. You can start to respond, not only react, and your inner space or playing field expands to be rewritten by you and others. To make that shift, you need time, space, and often somebody to hold you, to facilitate that aha moment within a safe and brave space, resonance, and fresh perspectives to help you see what you cannot see alone. So, do you have time, space, and somebody who can do that for and with you?

Transcend it:

Only when this "unconscious", the hidden protocols, old belief systems, and patterns of success, biases are now brought to light they can be seen. They are not driving you anymore from the dark shadow, the "machine room", by making you unconsciously angry, weak, ill, aggressive, or numb, shutting down and always holding you into the same stuck circle. You may think; "every time I run into the same problem with my colleagues, employees, finances, partners". Now you have the chance to break that cycle with new information, feedback, perspectives. As the Modern Mystic and leaders coach Thomas Hübl says: "unconscious patterns are destiny; conscious patterns are choice". Transcending means it opens, goes beyond, or over it, because it gets re-connected with context, energy, options, wisdom and then it often becomes a superpower. For example: our overwhelmed leader starts to relate to his body and starts to take care again, relates his precious time to the top 3 effective activities, achieving his high hard goals, and now has time and energy to relate to his colleagues again to enable them to become a high-performing team. He or she has consciously expanded mental models, skills, and qualities to become strong and powerful by admitting weaknesses and vulnerabilities. By practicing, in our case, recovery (sleep!) and resilience, productivity boosting, and relating. So, what are your 3 practices to outgrow your problems?

Include and Integrate it:

Through consistent, consciously chosen practice, your nervous system begins to rewire your brain (due to its neuroplasticity), and gradually you transform into a new person. With every exercise and experiment, you co-create a new worldview, new connections inside and outside, a fabric, or landscape you can walk on. So you expand the capacity you have; it's ready whenever needed. The more you practice, the more you become a master of body, heart, mind, performance, and leading others with impact with less and less effort. Therefore you need a container and support system in your personal and business life to prevent laying back into old habits under stress. So it makes sense to have practice groups of personal growth, a fully integrated development program beside one time retreats or "mental health" apps to really grow "the leaders cups" in your companies. And having personal rituals to have time, space and practice to become a full grown human - step by step.

Following the AWARE_OBJECT_SUBJECT_TRANSCEND_INTEGRATE process you can become a more vertically aligned (body, heart, mind, action, leadership) leader with more horizontal connections (I, you, us, the world), run by a more and more conscious - less reactive - CEO of your life in the name of you.

In the next edition I will refer to the 5 dimensions of this Transformative Leadership Journey.

If this resonates with you, please subscribe and "find the others" by referring this newsletter to other leaders in transformation.

In service of you. Stay tuned.

Achim

Note: This process of climbing the personal and leadership ladder of growth by rising consciousness and expanding capacities is - by the way - the core idea of VERTICAL Development. On the one hand the science of adult maturation and on the other the brand name of our European Transformation Collective founded in Berlin, where we helped 700 CEOs, Leaders and their teams in over 16 countries in the last years to outgrow their problems and achieve Peak Performance from with in-with less stress, drama and self sabotage. www.vertical-development.de