How Our Past Keeps Us A Prisoner In The Present

Is Your Past Triggering Your Present?

Without even knowing it we can bring our past experiences into our present. Our ‘Child Of Yesterday’ runs the show whenever we are triggered. If we encounter these triggers on a daily basis our nervous system can get overwhelmed and dysregulated. At that point we need to recognize what is happening and take steps to change our response to the trigger, or it will become a vicious cycle. 

My family immigrated from Russia to the United States when I was a young child. From that experience, I gained a lot of grit and determination, but there was also a lot of fear and anxiety which influenced my triggers from a very early age. These triggers would come back to haunt me over and over again until I finally crashed and burned and could not even move for months off the couch. It was during this time that I began to understand how my past programming was keeping me a prisoner in my own mind. Once I realized what was actually happening I started my healing journey and it all came full circle, only then was I able to take my life back and start managing the triggers from long ago. 

Early in my career, I worked my way up the corporate ladder, making really good money - but suffering from debilitating anxiety, intrusive thoughts and a constant feeling of not being good enough. When it all came crashing down, I was finally able to understand how my past showed up in the present, and I started rebuilding my life in a healthy and productive way. I went through a long, arduous healing process in order to break free of the past and reprogram my brain and my nervous system in order to thrive in the present. I would like to share with you a few strategies I learned along the way.

Acknowledgment

Take a few minutes to really think about why something is continually provoking you. Could it have something to do with a belief you’ve been carrying around? Something deep-seeded from your early development? Be open and non-judgmental with yourself while you do this. Experiencing a trigger in the workplace often stems from childhood trauma. We all tend to be triggered by something, but many professionals who continually struggle with triggers find that their nervous system has been dysregulated, which results in the inability to deal with these moments in a rational manner. Unless you recognize this it will remain in control and be detrimental to your mental health. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can begin to mend your nervous system and overcome those past traumas in order to thrive in the present.

Evaluation

Next, think about how this might be affecting your work. Is this something you can reframe so that it’s not an impediment to your success? Your emotional triggers can help you grow or keep you in the same old negative cycles. For this reason, evaluating the situation when it comes to triggers is crucial. That is why I’ve developed a workbook that identifies the four most common workplace triggers. My Tiggered in the Workplace workbook is part of my tool kit to help professionals evaluate what is triggering them in the workplace, complete with worksheets to help assess and manage each of these triggers. In the workbook I’ve included my 5 steps to managing workplace triggers and outlined how to practice using each one of these steps in order to help heal past experiences that echo the triggers you manage on a daily basis.

Self Awareness

Finally, commit to being aware every time you are triggered. Be observant of what’s around you–people, places, or specific situations that cause your emotions to bubble over. When this happens, try and ask yourself what belief or past experience is behind this reaction. Keep a calendar or journal of these instances in order to find patterns. The sooner you’re able to identify exactly what is triggering you, the quicker you can learn to diffuse the situation before you’re fully triggered. 

For me, living in an impoverished state for nearly a decade after our arrival in the United States is a constant trigger I have to manage. When I would lose a sale I would immediately go into fight or flight mode, and all of that anxiety that was coupled with constantly struggling around finances in my childhood would come seeping back in. To this day I have to be very aware when I’m in a situation like this, that one lost sale isn’t going to sink my ship. I need to look for the positive, take a moment to regulate my nervous system, and disrupt the pattern of negativity. Awareness is key in managing workplace triggers in order to have a plan of action in place BEFORE you’re triggered. In my workbook, I give you a list of tools to help keep your nervous system regulated and prepared for any trigger you may encounter.

We all have circumstances that trigger us, but few of us are brave enough to challenge them and face them head-on.  Remember that knowledge is power, and a new perspective can change everything! If you find there are areas at work that you feel are triggering you, be sure to look to your past experiences to help regulate your nervous system and help you to see things in a more positive light. The late Dr Wayne Dyer stated, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

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